A Letter from a Daughter's Heart

A Letter from a Daughter's Heart

This is a letter that was written from our previous posts, Garden Principles. I found it very encouraging and just honest. I hope it is a blessing to you all.

Garden Principles Part 1

Garden Principles Part 2

Garden Principles Part 3

Dear Parent,

We have just learned about submission to authority this ‘tea time talk’. My heart is to share with you the difficulties that can arise in submitting to an authority that feels like they are just that…. only an authority. Our lives are very busy and it can often feel hard to get time for our relationships. I wanted to attempt to share with you how YOU have the power to help your daughter/s gladly submit to you. I want to define TRUST for you as from a daughter’s eyes.. Daughters are all alike in some ways and have very similar struggles. It is very, very hard to OBEY (especially happily) an authority that has not earned our trust.  Trust is spelled this way to your daughter….

T-ime

R-espect

U-nderstanding

S-ensitivity

T-ransparency

Time

As women we are commanded to be in subjection and to obey those that have the rule over us, father and mother as well as ultimately the Lord. Women are commanded to obey their own husbands. We HAVE to… but wouldn’t you rather that we WANTED to? The difference can lie in this one word… time. How much harder is it for you, Mom, to obey your husband and show your daughters a right and godly example of submission, whenever you are lacking in having quality-time with you spouse? Adults seem to assume that children do not need as much time as their spouse. Your daughter/s knows your spousal relationship is paramount and if you both aren’t happy together our homes fall apart…. But, we also crave and need time with our parents. I am 26 years old and have not ‘out-grown’ the need of a relationship with my parents. Daughter’s spell this relationship TIME.

 I want to encourage you (fathers especially!) to take your daughter out on a “date” with you. It doesn’t have to be expensive or even extremely lengthy. The fact that you would take time for her will mean more than WHAT you do. Ice cream isn’t that expensive. A walk together is free. Time is free and it’s the most valuable thing you could give her.

     It is hard to obey someone you don’t trust. When you ask them to submit to something you know is right for them, but is hard to accept, please ask yourself: “How much reason have I given her to trust me? Have I ‘invested’ into her life enough to prove that I can be trusted with these hard decisions? When was the last time I showed my daughter that she is important to me?”

Respect

Men naturally understand this word so much more than women do. They rule their home and work relationships with it and manage this commodity remarkably well. Women struggle to understand what this is. We aren’t naturally respectful, we often do things, or say things to our father that are ‘obviously disrespectful’ in his eyes and we don’t have a clue that we have come across this way.      But, also there is the reverse. I know we’ve all seen adults completely humiliate their child -- like correcting them before an audience of visitors, (or even other siblings), or by talking down to them, forgetting them, not treating them with the same respect they’d give a stranger on the street. Please remember that your daughters are wonderfully made people. (Even at 6 our personality and personhood is very evident.) The next time you just expect your daughter to gladly obey you, please ask yourself, “Do I respect her as a person? Am I threatened by her having a different opinion from mine? Do I often assume she’s being disrespectful on purpose forgetting she may not truly understand this principle?”

Understanding

A little bit of understanding goes a long way. Webster defines this word as:“a mental grasp, the power of comprehending, friendly harmonious relationship, an agreement of opinion or feeling, sympathy.” 

Usually when your daughter shares something with you she has put herself out to be ‘critiqued, judged, reprimanded, or understood.’ She is truly hoping for the latter result. If she constantly meets with rebuke and reprimand when sharing something she is struggling with, eventually, she’ll become discouraged, believe you’ll never understand and STOP trying to communicate with you. You don’t have to agree to understand. Most of the time your daughter is actually (even unknowingly) looking for the last part of this definition: sympathy. She wants you to just say, “Oh, I’m sorry you had such a bad day at work.” without attempting to fix either HER or the issue or struggle being discussed. We love it when we feel heard.

Sensitivity

Most fathers aren’t naturally sensitive. It has not been designed into you as it has in a mother. However, if you will try to use even a little bit of it, you will quickly find that it is a powerful ingredient in helping produce or restore trust. It is difficult to obey someone you don’t respect, trust or you feel cares nothing about your feelings. We females are rather ‘fragile’ creatures. Those of us who seem like we can ‘take it’ on the outside normally can’t. We tend to try and HIDE how much that particular thing you did, or said, truly hurt us. We attempt to seem stronger than we are. Please remember to be kind. When we feel secure in our parental relationship and have enough attention we aren’t as likely to desire (as strongly) outside attention. (Or male attention.) In this area of crushes (at a younger age) and actually interests (at an older age) remember how vulnerable your daughters are to admiration. If any guy even seems interested in you, you may consider this ‘undesirable’ option just because you are getting attention. I truly believe that when a daughter has a solid relationship with her father and trusts him in smaller areas of life; it can carry them safely through these possible ship-wreck moments later on in the area of who she chooses to marry. If she feels she can’t trust you with small things, it will make this trust harder in such a large decision as who she will marry. You are responsible for her protection, but her decision is ultimately up to her. She NEEDS you desperately at this time in her life.

Transparency

This can be a difficult one. My father has often told me that he struggles admitting when he doesn’t have something figured out, or when he doesn’t truly know what to do, etc. It can be very hard for you, as her authority, to show this form of perceived ‘weakness’ and not truly have it all figured out. Let me encourage you….. she already knows! It meant the world to me when my dad would admit, “Honey, I don’t know.” Because I already knew that he didn’t. It meant so much that he’d be honest enough with me to just not have everything figured out. We’re actually, surprisingly, okay with that. What is hard is when you authority won’t tell you the real reason he is saying no. The simple answer of ‘no’ can become clouded by ‘good excuses’ or ‘reasons’ why it isn’t a good idea, and then when she works hard to remove these ‘obstacles’ (and she will) and you then say ‘no.’ it can feel frustrating. Trust her desire to obey you enough to just tell her the ‘No’ to begin with. I have often heard girl’s remark, “I wish he would just tell me no, instead of giving me all these other reasons that aren’t truly why.” I truly believe that honesty and transparency are very important in building trust.

  We are commanded to obey, but it is never EASY to deny yourself for someone else. It becomes easier when you truly love, admire, respect and TRUST that person. To give your life over to someone else takes a lot of trust. You have the power to help her out a bit. We are to obey regardless… but it can be a lot easier at times of ‘closeness’ in the relationship than when you feel distant. I pray that this can somehow encourage you to invest in your daughters. Your daughter truly desires to spend time with you, have you interested in HER as a person and be able to trust you with her most valued of treasures… her heart. 

Sincerely with respect,

 A Daughter 

Being a Jeremiah in a Jerusalem World

Spiritual Lessons

   Here is something I would like to share from one of our guest writers, Melissa Bickish. This is a little bit lengthy to read, but certainly worth the time. It was such an encouragement to me and I know it will be to you as well. Please remember to comment if you would like to.

  “Being a Jeremiah in a Jerusalem World”

  Recently, the Lord has been teaching me a lot about striving for Him. I am a person who does not naturally enjoy conflicts, or disagreements, or awkward conversations. He is beginning to show me that to stand up for Christ is to invite strife, conflict, and even hatred. When Christ spoke of how the world would hate you if you were of Him, He literally meant HATE… not dislike, not disagree with, not clash-against,… HATE YOU. To love God, to follow God, to speak out against sin, to hate sin as God does, means you will be despised by this world. Even when you don’t enjoy conflict, conflict arises when you stand against an overwhelming tide of culture. 

WE CANNOT GET ALONG WITH OUR CULTURE AND LIVE FOR GOD!  

When the Lord says we cannot serve God and love the world, He knew what He was saying was a FACT. It’s not a theory. Just get out there and tell your culture how opposed it is to God’s laws and see that you quickly are forced to choose between them. You cannot have culture (no waves, no conflict, no clashes) and obey God!

  Lately, a lot of my friends have been standing against our culture and speaking out for those who are butchered in silence, telling the gospel, and generally speaking up for God’s holiness and against the sin that has been accepted by our nation. I have seen the battle ground, the wounds, the HATRED that is poured upon them. Even if you’ll try witnessing once, you’ll discover that there are people who HATE Jesus and anything that He stands for. It is hard not to take this directed hatred personally, and to realize that they hate our Lord, who lives in us, so much more than they hate us. Satan hates vessels that are willing to work for the Lord. He’d much prefer to have an ‘army’ of Christians that all sit around the camp fire and tents and don’t charge his ranks. When you charge the front-lines and try to rescue captives in Jesus’ name, you will be attacked… you will be hated.

    I am the type of person that believes that God gives peace… that having God in your life yields a peaceful home, a peace with your fellow men that you don’t have when you aren’t saved, and peace in relationships. I have been learning through experience and reading the Lord’s word that this “peace” that I love cannot extend to the unholy. God is HOLY Lord. Our culture has so up-played His MERCY, LOVE, and GRACE attributes that we have forgotten that to have PEACE with God requires HOLINESS. Without which no man can see God. 

If our CULTURE is UNHOLY it is at enmity with God… and when the Spirit of God lives within us, we then are at ENMITY with this culture and this world. 

The Peace in our hearts cannot be taken away, but the peace in relation to an outside world cannot exist until that world (or person) repents of their sin and accepts God’s HOLINESS.

   The Lord first gave me a verse in James (3:17) when I was struggling with this idea of being unpeaceable and at enmity with my world. “First PURE, then PEACABLE”… and it is listed in this order for a very specific reason. You cannot be at peace with something until it is first PURE. HOLINESS and PURITY is the requirement for us Christians to gauge what we can allow to be at PEACE with us in our lives.

 “It is important to understand that we are to be ‘first pure, then peaceable’. Our peaceable nature is never to be a TOLERANCE for sin or evil. We must be set against everything that opposes God and His HOLINESS. Then, with our purity being a settled matter in our souls, we can go on to peaceableness. But no matter how peaceable we may be in this world, we will be misrepresented and misunderstood. This should not surprise us, for even the Prince of Peace brought fire upon the earth. Though He LOVED mankind and did no wrong, He was ‘despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” (Is. 53:3) Therefore the peaceable in heart should not be surprised when they meet with enemies…. Strengthen our souls that our peaceableness may not lead us into cowardice and despair when, for Your sake, we are persecuted.”    

                        -Charles H. Spurgeon-

  So, what does it mean to be a Jeremiah in the midst of a Jerusalem world? It means that you stand AGAINST everything and everyone to stand with God, to speak God’s words, and be hated by the overwhelming cultural tide called normalcy.

 In my process of learning these things the Lord led me to begin reading in Jeremiah. I had just finished reading somewhere else and almost always pray about 'where' I should read next… when I was impressed with Jeremiah I felt a little bit like, “okay.” As I opened the first chapter I was overwhelmed at the Lord’s faithfulness to me, and the passages containing exactly what I needed to hear. Jeremiah chapters 1 and 2 amazingly enough are where we get to hear God’s conversation with Jeremiah and see that God called Jeremiah to be AGAINST EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING in his Jerusalem.

“Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.  Then said I, Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I cannot speak: for I am a child. But the LORD said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak. Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD. Then the LORD put forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the LORD said unto me, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth. See, I have this day set thee over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out, and to pull down, and to destroy, and to throw down, to build, and to plant….  And I will utter my judgments against them touching all their wickedness, who have forsaken me, and have burned incense unto other gods, and worshipped the works of their own hands. Thou therefore gird up thy loins, and arise, and speak unto them all that I command thee: be not dismayed at their faces,.. For, behold, I have made thee this day a defenced city, and an iron pillar, and brasen walls against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, against the princes thereof, against the priests thereof, and against the people of the land. And they shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee; for I am with thee, saith the LORD, to deliver thee.”

I was amazed as I read these verses! Jeremiah also felt too young. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever feel ‘ready’ or truly ‘prepared’ to speak God’s counsel to others. People often use this as an EXCUSE for why they won’t hear you. If they won’t hear you as a youth, they’d have a different excuse if you were in your 50’s. It’s not the age that makes the difference. Then they’d probably excuse themselves by saying you didn’t ‘understand’ their generation. If they won’t listen to a youth, they won’t listen. Our AGE has nothing to do with it. I was encouraged that Jeremiah felt ‘too young’ to speak God’s words. He called himself a ‘child’. A child is usually young, not as knowledgeable, and not ‘ready’ to face the world. God tells him not to call himself a child. It is somewhere in his ‘teen’ years that this calling comes upon his life. 

I also was so encouraged by the 18^th and 19^th verse. God tells him that HE has asked him to be AGAINST the whole nation.

This is the list:

-          against the whole land, (everyone, everything, every tree… the WHOLE nation)

-          against the kings of Judah,  (the Government, rulers, President, authorities)

-          against the princes thereof,  (the sub-authorities, senators, ‘popular’)

-          against the priests thereof,   (the religious people… or the “Christians” of his day!!!)

-          and against the people of the land.  (all the people… everyone.. he was very alone! )

The Lord tells Jeremiah very plainly exactly what the ‘cost’ is going to be to be His prophet and speak what the Lord has commanded him to speak. This whole list of people.

“ And they shall fight against you…” Jeremiah was not only going to be unpopular, disliked, a culture outcast, lonely, and unaccepted…. EVERYONE was going to fight against him. But God doesn’t leave him there. He gives Jeremiah a much needed and precious promise. “but they shall not prevail against thee; for I am with thee, saith the LORD, to deliver thee.”

 Not only are the people not going to be able to prevail against him in this fight, the Lord tells him that He is on His side… the JEHOVAH GOD is fighting his battles for him. God is with him and will deliver him. These same promises apply to us… 

When we go out and stand against our whole nation, the authorities, what’s popular, or culturally accepted, against the religions of this world and the people…we do not go alone. We Go with God. He fights for us!

   The World will tells lies about you and devise ways to try and hurt you. Jeremiah 18:18 -"Then said they, Come, and let us devise devices against Jeremiah; for the law shall not perish from the priest, nor counsel from the wise, nor the word from the prophet. Come, and let us smite him with the tongue, and let us not give heed to any of his words. Give heed to me, O LORD, and hearken to the voice of them that contend with me. Shall evil be recompensed for good? for they have digged a pit for my soul. Remember that I stood before thee to speak good for them, and to turn away thy wrath from them.”

 When you are standing before them to speak for their good, they will still dig pits for you, devise evil plans, speak evil of you and refuse to hear your words.

  The Lord has kindly given me a lot of verse about witnessing, being ‘different’, and even reproving our culture over these past few months. I hope that since they were an encouragement to me, they will also be to someone else.

 Ephesians 5:11- 18 “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. {reproved: or, discovered}  Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.  See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;…”

 [Awake: cease sleeping, to become conscious or aware of something, to make active! Stir up, Alert, aware…]

When we AWAKE we realize that we have been unaware of something important! The idea that now that we are conscious of it we have no excuse not to act upon what we now see is what is meant by this word.  I feel like this word perfectly describes how I felt in regards to abortion and abortions in my country. I felt forced to awake to something I’d rather not have seen. But to see it demands an action. In this same way, to truly be AWAKE to the lost and dying world demands action as well.

  [Reprove: Disapprove, condemn, to administer rebuke, censure, refute, convince or convict, reprimand or reproach.]

 This description doesn’t sound ‘peaceable’ at all! People are always sensitive to ‘censure’ and what they love to call ‘judgment’…. But the Bible tells us not only not to fellowship with these works of darkness, but to take it a step further and REPROVE, or JUDGE, or CONDEMN them! This is certainly not popular with our culture. I pray God to gives me the courage to do this.

 We are commanded to walk circumspectly… what does that mean?

[Circumspect: Look around and be cautious, careful to consider all circumstances and possible consequences, PRUDENT, etc.]

We are to walk as one who has his eyes open to the world around him, the consequences of the deeds done and prudently.

Proverbs 14:2 and 9 say,

“ He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD: but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him… Fools make a mock at sin…”

We would should expect to be mocked if be judge someone for their sin. They ‘Mock’ at it, wink at it, try to ignore that it’s serious.. and you are making them ‘AWAKEN’ to the actual cost and reality of their sins on their life. People will hate you for this… they truly are DESPISING THE LORD NOT YOU when this happens. He says that when their ways are perverse they are despising Himself.

“We wrestle not against flesh and blood…” (Ephesians 6:12)

[Wrestle: Struggle, striving to throw down, overcome, to engage in deep thought, debate or consideration, to move by force.]

“ Let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men…” (Galatians 6:7)

[Due season: appropriate, adequate or scheduled.]

[Opportunity: A favorable juncture of circumstances, a good chance.]

“Hell and destruction are before the LORD; how much more then the hearts of the children of men?” (Proverbs. 15:11)

[Before: in front of, in the Presence of, under the Jurisdiction or consideration of, at the disposal of.]

God is in control of the hearts of men. If they revile you, despise you, reject you, then He has allowed it to touch your life. He says that there is fruit for well doing in due season if we faint not… and aren’t weary in well ‘doing’.

“ The heart of the righteous STUDIETH to answer:..” (Proverbs 15:28)

[Studied: Knowledgeable, learned, carefully considered and prepared, thoughtful.]

“ Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)

If we are to give an answer for the hope that lieth within us we are to be prepared. I think a large part of any preparation is Practice… literal, actual, in the field practice. God gives us the thoughts we need and establishes our thoughts.

"A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!" (Proverbs 15:23)

The Lord intends to use us as vessels to speak His ‘good’ news into the lives of others.

“Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and a twoedged sword in their hand; To execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people; To bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with fetters of iron;To execute upon them the judgment written: this honour have all his saints. Praise ye the LORD.” (Psalms 149:6-9)

 It’s to be our HONOUR to judge using the two-edged sword of the word.

“For I have heard a voice as of a woman in travail, and the anguish as of her that bringeth forth her first child, the voice of the daughter of Zion, that bewaileth herself, that spreadeth her hands, saying, Woe is me now! for my soul is wearied because of murderers.” (Jeremiah 4:31)

“Also in thy skirts is found the blood of the souls of the poor innocents: I have not found it by secret search, but upon all these. Yet thou sayest, Because I am innocent, surely his anger shall turn from me. Behold, I will plead with thee, because thou sayest, I have not sinned “  (Jeremiah 2:34)

 Our Nation has the innocent blood of millions of our ‘poor innocents’ and they say, “I am innocent, I have not sinned’. This is the perfect description of our world. There are so many similarities between Jerusalem and our nation of America in these verses.

 “And they bend their tongues like their bow for lies: but they are not valiant for the truth upon the earth; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they know not me, saith the LORD.” (Jeremiah 9:3)

 Will we be valiant for the truth in our Jerusalem? Would we speak even if God told us that they WOULDN'T HEAR US?

Jeremiah 7:27 and 28 says, "Therefore thou shalt speak all these words unto them; but they will not hearken to thee: thou shalt also call unto them; but they will not answer thee. But thou shalt say unto them, This is a nation that obeyeth not the voice of the LORD their God, nor receiveth correction: truth is perished, and is cut off from their mouth."

 Sometimes we feel like our world is more ‘evil’ and more ‘vile’ and more ‘wicked’ than other “times” in history. But it isn’t true. Human beings are by nature evil. We are not the only generation who feels like ‘Truth has perished’ completely.

 This chapter declares that God told Jeremiah to begin in the house of the Lord. Of all the places that you wouldn’t think God would say that ‘truth is perished” it would be in His house… but it’s the first place He tells Jeremiah to go!

"The word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD, saying, Stand in the gate of the LORD'S house, and proclaim there this word, and say, Hear the word of the LORD, all ye of Judah, that enter in at these gates to worship the LORD. Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, Amend your ways and your doings,.." (Jeremiah 7:1-3)

  I guess what the Lord has truly been showing me is that to be His vessel, to be used by Him, to minister, to witness: I have to be okay with not ‘getting along’ with people, with debating my faith, with even being hated for His words. I will NOT BE ABLE to be at peace with this world! How many people in the Bible can you think of that lived happy, peace-filled lives? The numbers are slim indeed.

  The most encouraging verses that I read were in chapter 15 of Jeremiah where God calls Jeremiah “ a man of strife.” Jeremiah did not choose a life of strife, he complains that he was even born to such a life…… but God chose Him to be His messenger. A messenger of God is by the unpopularity of God’s message called to a ‘life of strife’.

 Jeremiah 15:10- "Woe is me, my mother, that thou hast borne me a man of strife and a man of contention to the whole earth! I have neither lent on usury, nor men have lent to me on usury; yet every one of them doth curse me. The LORD said, Verily it shall be well with thy remnant; verily I will cause the enemy to entreat thee well in the time of evil and in the time of affliction. Shall iron break the northern iron and the steel?"

I so could understand Jeremiah’s heart-felt bitter cry. He hadn’t asked to be a prophet, this wasn’t his life’s ambition… to be despised. He truly didn’t want everyone to curse him. He must have hated strife to say as He did in these verses “…woe is me, my mother…,” and mourned his very existence as a man of strife and contentions. However, he decided that to follow what the Lord wanted Him to do was worth whatever the ‘cost’.

 We cannot live peaceably in a world that denies the Prince of Peace. And though, we may not be able to be at peace in our world, we can be at peace with God! There is a world of internal peace, precious, immeasurable peace from the Lord. Even if we can’t be ‘conflict’ free in this life, there is coming a day when strife will never be a part of our lives. I guess I just wanted to encourage someone else that WE DON’T FIT INTO OUR WORLD, WE SHOULDN’T FIT INTO OUR WORLD and that that’s the way it will be in order to follow the Lord’s ways. You will be hated, you won’t be at peace, you shall be called a ‘man of strife and a man of contention’, but GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN YOU and wouldn’t you rather be at peace with the Lord than with the world around you? 

 Jerusalem, Jerusalem, there is no peace to be had in thee!...

BUT I serve a God who’s name is Jehovah Shalom (the LORD is peace) Shalom is translated as “peace” or “absence from strife”! The true shelter from a strife-filled world and the one consolation from a strife-filled existence is found in the God who has titled HIMSELF the absence from strife. True PEACE is Jesus Christ.

Modesty

Spiritual Lessons/ Health and Beauty 

I would like to submit to you a post written by guest writer Melissa Bickish.  I sincerely enjoyed it and would love to hear what you think!

Modesty 

I recently read a very different book. It was written by a preacher during the 2^nd world war period. He had some amazing things to say from a MAN’s perspective. You don’t often hear a guy’s perspective of modesty, beauty, femininity and purity.  I wanted to share with you some of my favorite quotes. He encouraged me in modesty, keeping a really high-standard, and my already existing convictions against flirtation, etc. I hope that this encourages someone else as much as it did me.  They are kind of random without much order, but what he has to say is very honest and encourages woman to continue in our pursuit of modesty, purity, and feminine beauty.

“ God never made anything so beautiful as a beautiful girl. From her hair, which the Apostle Paul calls her crowning glory, and her eyes, which carry the sparkle of the diamond of god’s sunshine itself, and her beautiful complexion, which is most beautiful when it is healthy and natural; from her teeth, like a row of pearls, to the tip of her dainty feet, as she moves with grace across the path of a young man’s vision, she is altogether adorable. I do not wonder that the young man should fall head over heels in love with such a vision of loveliness.”

“In commenting on present-day laxity of girls regarding their make-up and manners, a college lad recently said, ‘ of course fellows will play around with girls of that kind, but inwardly they despise them’. Far too often in these days, we see girls that by their very actions are labeled ‘cheap’… Any well-bred young man will instinctively lift his hat with reverence and respect, and thus honor modest, sincere, Christian womanhood.”

In speaking of a girl permitting liberties… “ He loses all his former respect for her because she is willing to permit those unbecoming intimacies, and about nine times out of ten he will shortly cast her aside for another. He is probably laughing at her, and is saying to himself that if she permits his advances, she would yield her favors to the approaches of some other young man.”

“ The worthwhile young man is not interested in making his purchases at the counter plainly marked ‘soiled goods’.

“ Every truthful young man would admit that the has the greatest respect for the girl whose general bearing is constantly warning him- not necessarily with words, but by her every act- ‘hands off.’ As one young man expressed it, ‘ Any girl should know that the young man always wants that one which is hardest to get.’

“,,, Therefore it makes little difference whether the physical virginity is lost or not, if that maidenly purity of heart be gone, in the sight of God it is sensuality, and her chastity, the greatest element of a girl’s attractiveness has been destroyed.”

“ There is nothing more disgusting to a worth-while young man than a girl who is ‘boy-crazy’. With her light-headed giggling, squealing, affected and designing maneuvers, she may think she is making a ‘hit’, but in fact she is utterly despised by every decent chap in the community. However, such a girl may be highly attractive to the young fellows who think one so silly might be easy prey to their improper intentions.”

“We find in these days a steady trend to immodesty of dress, and the sad part of it is that most young girls are willfully ignorant of the effect this has upon the men… but I am hereby serving notice on you that the decent, respectable men or our country, whether in the church or out of it, are absolutely disgusted with the manner in which modern women are dressing.” ( This was written in 1938! I can’t even imagine what this man would have said about today’s dress code!!! ) “The partially concealed charms of a woman have always proved to be one of the most severe temptations to sexual immorality that any man has ever been compelled to face.”

 “Women are the best missionaries of the cause of Purity. Just let them make it known that they will refuse to marry men who fail to bring to the bridal chamber the same purity which men expect from womanhood, and it will start the greatest moral revolution since the Reformation.”

“Put your standards high, yield yourself wholly to the will of God and make your future a matter of earnest prayer. You may be sure that God is far more interested in having His divine purpose carried out in your life than you yourself could possibly be…. Certainly God is both able and willing to make his will known to His children, and especially in that which is of such tremendous importance to us both for time and eternity. Let every Christian girl stand her ground and look to God for a perfect fulfillment of His will in her life.

“There are many marriages which God never had anything to do.”

“… next to our conversion and eternal salvation the most important step is that of marriage.”

“Girls don’t let your actions advertise ‘Man wanted quick’ for that is the surest way of not getting a real one. You might get something with pantaloons on, but that is not necessarily a man, let alone being a real gentlemen.”

“ Every worthwhile young man, whether he admits it or not, has the greatest respect for the young woman who lives and dares to stand up and defend her Christian principles.”

~ Oscar Lowry 

Spiritual lessons

Here I would like to introduce you to guest writer Melissa Bickish  .  She is a dear friend of mine, who has some really good thoughts on the will of God to share with Maid Arise readers.  I received such a huge blessing out of reading this, I know you will too.  Please make sure to leave your comments!

Just a few thoughts on the Will of God

For several months I have been pondering the idea of God’s will. The idea that He reveals things to some of us, and seems ‘unwilling’ to reveal things to others. I know that this is a very DEEP topic and I do not intend to get into the why’s and wherefores, or to delve deeply into His permissive and perfect wills… etc. This is just a few ideas that have come to my mind from either reading books or the Bible, and I hope that they are helpful to others as well.

At the very beginning we must define what I mean by God’s will. I here begin to quote S.D. Gordon…

 “ God’s will is His desires, His purposes, that which He wishes to occur, and that to which He gives His strength that it may occur…. His plan is the most wise, pure, loving plan that can be thought of, and more.”

First of all, is the thought that GOD ACTUALLY WANTS YOU TO KNOW HIS WILL. I don’t know if anyone else had this experience, but I remember when I grew up in church hearing all the time about “The will of God” in hushed reverent, almost spooky tones, as though it were too ‘mysterious’ to be truly understood, or that the simple Christian couldn’t discover it without ‘great’ seeking. I don’t know where this mistaken notion has come from. In my limited 25 years on this earth, I have discovered that God wants me to be in His will. He wants me on the right path… and is desirous that I REMAIN in His will.

The first thing to note is a Bible verse, one that very aptly describes God’s desire for us to know His will.

“ Be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.”

Ephs. 5:17

“ For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” Col. 1:9

If we are to be wise and understand then that means that we can understand.

“If any man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.”

John 7:17

“ If a man’s will is really set on doing God’s will, that is, if his heart is given up to do it, and he as a consequence does it as far as he knows it, he shall know what God has further to teach him… doing is the one condition of truly knowing. And so obedience, the doing of God’s will as far as we know it, and the will and the vow to do it all as He reveals it, is the spiritual organ, the capacity for receiving the true knowledge of what is God’s will for each of us….”

 ----Andrew Murray---( With Christ in the School of Obedience.)- great book by the way-

I believe that herein lies the key. I wonder if we truly ‘will’ to know what God wants because it might, perchance, disagree with what we desire for our own life. God promises in this verse that if we ‘will’ or desire to know His will that we shall know.

God’s will is not arbitrary. He does not seek to ruin you by following Him. He says of His will in Ephesians 1 verse 5 --  “ according to the good pleasure of His will.”

“ How slow we are to believe that God’s will always means our fullest joy!... Let God’s will be done, and done from the heart; and then His creatures will know what true rest and happiness mean.”

---E. H. Hopkins---

Christ as our example said of Himself in Hebrews 10:7 -- 

“ Then said I, Lo, I come ( in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do Thy will, O God.”

He also said that He did NOTHING of Himself!

Our greatest aim and desire for our life should be to find God’s will for our life and stay in that path.

Secondly, I’d like to address those of you who have felt that God has left you in the ‘dark’ concerning your futures. There is a cross that includes knowing your future because you then have your faith tested over and over and have to fight doubt all of the time. 

The second cross is in NOT knowing your future. It can be very difficult to not KNOW what lies ahead…

If God hasn’t revealed His ‘future’ will or plan for your life --- then REST--- because you are then right where He wants you to be! Ask yourself, “ Am I seeking to know His will or get a glimpse of my own future life, because I dislike not ‘knowing’?” If it isn’t His will to reveal His future plan for your life then you are asking for something CONTRARY to the WILL OF GOD. That is not seeking His will, but your own desire to KNOW! Rest in the face that “He will reveal even this unto you” if something needs to be shown to you, or if you’re in the wrong place. He wants you in His will more than YOU want to be in it! If you are in the wrong ‘place’ or feel you have ‘erred’ it is HIS RESPONSIBILITY to reveal it to you… and if He hasn’t then you can SAFELY rest in the place you are at knowing it is His will for you right now.

Thirdly, I’d like to address those who do know something of there futures…. 

Oftentimes, God has revealed to me what I believe to be ‘future’ sorrows that I shall face. If this is the case, Don’t fear future sorrows. The Lord didn’t reveal this future to you so you could spend the proceeding years leading up to it petrified with fear.

 The Bible says,

“Fear none of these things which thou shalt suffer”. ( Rev.2:10) 

This could be anything that God has shown you that is labeled with a “price-tag” called LOSS! The fear of the future can be paralyzing to your faith. Fear is bondage! The Lord didn’t give you that information so you could lock yourself in a prison of bondage, but so your faith could be strengthened. “Fear none”- in the context of this passage the sorrow listed is that of being martyrd! You’d think if there was one thing we would be ‘permitted’ to fear it would be being killed for Christ’s sake… but NO, God says, “be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.” Death for LIFE! Isn’t it precious that the martyrs crown is called the crown of life! So, even if you are martyrd one day God says, “for he that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death.”

“The future is not ours: we may never have a future; or, if it comes, it may be wholly different to all we foresaw. Let us shut our eyes to that which God hides from us in the hidden depths of His wisdom. Let us worship without seeing… .what matter, so long as He is glorified, and His will is fulfilled in us?.... Live quietly from day to day, without thinking about the future. Even the present is not really yours, and you must only use it as is consistent with the will of God, to whom it actually belongs.” ---Francios Fenelon----

Fourthly, I’d like to discuss God’s will in the everyday. (which is just a piece of life and how life is lived… day to day) This subject is where the rubber meets the road so to speak.

When was the last time your conscience pricked you about something ‘small’ and you convinced yourself it wasn’t worth ‘bothering’ about, or it was so small that it didn't matter, or it wasn't worth all the ‘fuss’, etc? If you deny the Spirit of God revealing His will through your conscience then you won’t be told ‘greater’ things. “faithful in little… faithful in much!” If God can’t trust you to correct little things, how can you expect Him to reveal larger areas to you?

I had a very funny experience with this same idea a few months ago. I had just purchased a large tub of Hummus from Costco… it wasn’t really expensive, but it was something that I ‘could actually eat’ as my diet had become so limited. Lizzy and Jeffrey (sister-in-law and brother) were coming over that night and as I got into the fridge for some other item, I spied my tub of hummus sitting ‘right out in the open’ for ‘grabs’. Lizzy and her girls and Jeffrey all LOVE hummus… and I knew that if it sat there ‘exposed’ they’d eat some. So, I very selfishly put the hummus at the back of the fridge behind some other items of ‘less value’ to me. As soon as the fridge door closed, the Lord pricked my conscience and told me to put it back where it had been. So, I obeyed…. not without first thinking of what a sacrifice this was! Hahah This story is comical to me know… but at the time it was very ‘close’ to home. Can God trust you to hear His voice in the every day and that you’ll obey His will when He shows it to you?

Fifthly, Have you ever stopped and asked GOD if there was anything in your life that is contrary to His will for you? It could be something your parents allow, that you’ve allowed for years- but it may not be in line with God’s personal, specific, will for you! Are you willing to have different standards than your siblings or even your parents if it is God’s will for you? Are you willing to be thought ‘weird’ even by your own family to be where God wants you? Are you sensitive to God’s leading in the ‘small’ everyday things of life?

“ I am not conscious of keeping anything that is displeasing to Him. But the first point is : Have I made diligent search? Have I come to God and honestly asked Him to search me? There may be recesses in my being which I know have not been brought under the penetrating power of His holy light. There may be corners in which ‘doubtful things’ are still lurking, and which would no longer be doubtful, if I honestly asked God to show me His will concerning them. The fear lest such a surrender of one’s being would involve a complete clearing out of a multitude of things may still be keeping the soul back in a state of partial consecration.”

---E.H. Hopkins---

“ There may be many things which you have been accustomed to think lawful or allowable which your Father wants different. To consider it settled that they are the will of God because you and others think so may effectually shut you out form knowing God’s will on other things.”

---- Andrew Murray---

“If I am holding something in my life that the Master does not like, if I am failing to obey when His voice has spoken, that to me is sin. It may be wrong in itself. It may NOT be wrong in itself. It may not be wrong for another. Sometimes it is not the thing involved but the One involved that makes the issue. If that faithful quiet inner voice has spoken and I know what the Master would prefer and I fail to keep in line, that to me is sin…. There are a great many things that can be proven to be not wrong, but that are not best, that are not His preference.”

--- S.D. Gordon---

The more you seek to know His will, will to will, and OBEY His voice the more God has the liberty to speak to you! You can hinder Him with your unbelief and unwillingness to obey His leading. If He knows you aren’t intending to obey, will He speak? God allows Himself to be limited by our unbelief.

“Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief…. today if you WILL hear His voice, harden not your hearts..” (Heb. 3)

You must have a soft, willing heart in order to hear the voice of God in your life.

Let me encourage you not to compare yourself with anyone else, because if you do, you’ll begin to wonder why God spoke to ‘that’ person, and not to you. Each of us has our own path and they are never the same.

God WANTS you in His will and the ‘place’ He has chosen you to be in.

“ Any uncertainty about God’s will makes a joyful obedience impossible. Believe most confidently that the Father is willing to make known what He wants you to do.” 

--- Andrew Murray---

“The highest possible ambition for a life is to reach God’s plan. He reveals that to us bit by bit as we need to know…. I must keep in touch with Him so He has an open ear to talk into. I must delight to do his will, because it is His. “ 

---S. D. Gordon---

The Lord says in Hebrews 13 verse 20-21…

“ Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen."

So, in conclusion let me just encourage you, He has a desire and a thought toward you and His thoughts are always thoughts of peace. One of my favorite words in Psalms 119 is God’s JUDGMENTS. These are His decisions… His plans, His choice for your life… ultimately, His will.

“ the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.” Ps. 19