At War with Pink Lace

Spiritual Lessons

At War with Pink Lace

Yet another perspective on femininity  

Femininity does not have to involve lace, pink and tea cups.  But I want to also say that there is nothing wrong with lace, the color pink, or tea cups.  It's one of the beauties of modern womanhood.  We can hunt, and have tea parties.  Rock climb and knit.  Ski and ball-room dance.  We can wear camo one day, and eyelet the next.

If stereotypical "girly" things aren't your "cup of tea" -- that's okay.  But I want to address a mindset I've come across lately.  It's a resentful attitude toward anything "feminine", typically womanly.  Marriage has become a bitter word, and even the thought of being sought after and treated like a "princess" is embarrassing.

I think this attitude stems from unhealthy expectations. And bitter let-downs. We expect ourselves to someday measure up to Mrs. Proverbs 31.  We expect if we are virtuous enough and pretty enough, Prince Charming will show up.  We expect to serve God in church, at home, at the job, at school and at the volunteer you-name-it-center.  And we try.

And then somewhere in your twenties you wake up with the realization you haven't achieved any of this.  You're full of guilt, Prince Charming is nowhere or has left you broken-hearted, and you're just plain TIRED.  You're a failure.  It's a let-down.  And the spiritual solution:  "Try harder."  And the worldly solution:  "Grow up, it's not going to get any better."

We are left feeling we aren't pretty enough, we don't serve enough, and we're too needy and too wounded.  We will never get married, and femininity wasn't all it was made out to be.
The fact that every little girl has played dolly, has dressed up in mom's shoes, and is captivated by love stories, proves that we have an inherent desire to be needed, to be beautiful and to be sought after.  This is natural.  To downplay it or be ashamed of it, or even go so far as to reject it is a sign of being hurt or having dreams shattered.

Granted there are times the thought of motherhood scares us, we feel frumpy, we're tired and romance seems so complex.  But when you aren't pressed down be insecurities.  When it feels possible to dream, when you are simply being yourself, when demands and disappointments are forgotten -- what do we feel?  What do we desire?  What do we dream?

We find we don't want to run away from life.  We actually can admit we want to be a wife and a mom.  We want to to be part of a man's adventure and to be his helpmeet.  To be a warrior against our culture's sin.  To be confident and beautiful...maybe even relish in something beautiful and glittery...maybe something with lace and pink.

These emotions are part of being female and it's okay to let down our guard and accept them.  Our attitude affects more than just us.  Our disdain for femininity is a result of being hurt -- but it affects other women who dare to accept their femininity.  It's who we are.  And when we can embrace it we can encourage other women to do the same.  And by unashamedly being the women we are, men can also be encouraged to be the men they are supposed to be.

Your womanly courage inspires men to leave modern passivity and encourages them to take up the fight.  Our faithfulness in modesty, our daring to unveil who we are (as imperfect as it may be), our pursuit of beauty and femininity, and our acceptance of our womanhood, actually creates a desire in men to stand up and be the men they were created to be.  A feminine heart inspires heroism.  A womanly heart encourages strength to stand.

Our longings to be womanly and feminine, (no matter how long we've oppressed them) are whispers of the heart, calling out to us to fulfill our purpose as women.  Modern culture, feminists and romance novels will all try to lie and offer unsatisfying alternatives.  But that longing in your heart, the same one that made you delight in baking your first dessert, or dance in your mother's shoes, or plan a party, or sit on your Dad's knee, or blush when your brother said you look nice -- is your heart longing to be exactly who God created you to be - a feminine woman of God.

And how do we be that feminine woman of God?

There isn't a formula.  I don't know of any biblical check-lists.  Which thankfully means we aren't setting ourselves up to be failures.
It's honestly an adventurous journey.

To be continued...



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Femininity 

Quote of the Day

"There is no human being on earth with an innocence which is not based on ignorance, and if we have come to the stage of life we are now in with the belief that innocence and purity are the same thing, it is because we have paid no attention to what Jesus Christ said. Purity is something that has been tested and tried, and triumphed; innocence has always to be shielded." 

-Oswald Chambers, The Servant as His Lord p. 48 

Modest and Concealed Carry

Conceal Carry Modestly 

For a while now I have carried a .38 Taurus revolver for self defense.  In the near future I would like to conceal carry so I can take my Taurus more comfortably to more places.  Open carry is legal here in Idaho without a permit, but it also makes some people uncomfortable, and honestly can be inappropriate for some places and circumstances.

But a question has risen as to modestly.  How do you conceal carry and still be modest.  As I have researched this myself I thought I would share my findings.  It can be a little tricky, but it can be done!

Conceal Carry with Pants:

My first searching brought me to one of my favorite modesty bloggers Olivia Howard of Fresh Modesty.  I honestly am not totally sold out on her outfit as being perfectly modest -- but it did give me a great idea!  Tunics over pants.  (Her tunic wasn't quite long enough for me...I'd feel uncomfortable wearing it).  But here is her outfit idea...

 







Interesting to note is Olivia's holster. It's from T-Rex Arms and is honestly a great idea, although a little spendy. ($80-$145)

Another holster I found is the VersaCarry.  It is an inside the waistband holster for a .38 revolver.  This is also a less expensive option.  Click HERE to view. ($16.49 on Amazon)

But one of my favorite holsters I've found so far is the Urban Carry holster.  It is middle of the road as far as expense, and it looks more versatile and comfortable that the Versa Carry.  But both of these holsters will only work with a stiff waistlined skirt or pants.

 

Click HERE for a video on how this holster works. (Approx. $65)

And the Pocket holster:

Someone might ask -- why not just put your gun in your purse?  These are the reasons I find it not ideal --
1. The first thing someone takes from you if you're being robbed is your purse.
2. A gun is a lot harder to locate in a purse.  In most circumstances we won't have time to dig through our purse.

Jo, owner of Empower Firearms Training and certified NRA firearms instructor gives a few tips if you are compelled to carry in your purse:

"If you are not using a purse specifically designed for [conceal carry] it is useful to do the following.  Choose a purse that has at least two compartments.  Designate one to be your carry compartment and do not put anything else in there.  Should you need to access your gun in a hurry, you don't want to be rummaging through lipsticks and hairbrushes to get to it!  I also recommend securing a holster within your purse.  Choose a position that will ensure that your tun is consistently and properly placed for a quick draw scenario.  On that same train of though, practice whether you find it easier to draw from a purse suspended around your dominant or non-dominant shoulder.  Be sure to figure out an identifying factor (for example the zip tassel will always be facing front on the one you'll be carrying) and get yourself into the habit of always putting your purse into that position.  when seconds count and your adrenaline is already running high, familiarization with an action is a key factor.  Your advance planning and habituation will eliminate wasted time in a crucial moment.  Also e prepared to shoot through your purse -- even if it'a an expensive designer one.  Go to your local charity store and pick up a few cheap purses similar in style, then take them to the range and shoot through them."                        
Designer Carry Conceal Purse  Click HERE for more 
                                                    Great Advice for wearing tunics with pants from Olivia.  Click Here.                                            

Conceal Carry with Skirts: 

Another blogger "Gingham at Five-Thirty" shares her choice of dress for concealed carry.




She also wears a holster/corset.




These are amazing -- but also on the expensive side.  Click HERE to visit Dene Adam's site.



Conceal Carry with Dresses:

While wearing a dress the thigh holster is a possible choice.  Or a belly band.
Jo, owner of Empower Firearms Training is an NRA certified instructor modeling her thigh holster. Click HERE for full article.

                                       Belly Band By Armed in Heels $40.99 Click HERE


Gracie from "Packing Pretty" shares her advice with conceal carrying fashionably"
"Once you have chosen your carry method, you need to follow through with it by adapting your wardrobe.  Options for carrying in a dress: If you have a smaller carry gun, some great options for carrying concealed in a dress are the compression short holster and the belly band. For a full size sidearm I simply wear jean shorts with an inside the waistband holster underneath the dress.
**Check out Gracie's video blog (before she knew about Compression Short Holsters from Armed in Heels)**



Personally I am not a huge fan of the thigh holster or the ankle holster. Considering that most ADs (Accidental Discharges) happen when the carrier is either drawing or re-holstering their gun, the placement of the thigh holster is not optimal. The muzzle of the gun is constantly pointing at your femoral artery. If you accidentally shoot yourself in the femoral artery you will likely bleed out in less than a minute (before the ambulance arrives). The ankle holster takes more training and practice. In order to draw from the ankle, you will need to kneel down. This extra fraction of a second can cost you. All this being said; the ankle and thigh holsters are still viable options for discreet carry.
Of course, the key is to train and become proficient in the techniques and methods you choose to use. This means practicing safely drawing, getting your sights on target and shooting under stress or time limits.
               ** Remember to Check out Gracie's Blog at packingpretty.com!**




 Resources:


Life in a Shoe shares her experience in choosing a gun for conceal carry.

PackingPretty 

Armed in Heels

deneadams.com

www.policemag.com/blog/women-in-law-enforcement

Conceal Carry on Pinterest

...To be Continued...

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I'm an Old Maid -- Now What?!

I'm an Old Maid -- Now what?!

So, I'm 24 years old and unmarried.  In fact I'm not dating.  Not courting, not in a relationship - notta.

I actually had some people in my life come to me on my 24th birthday and try to "console" me.  Apparently I've reached hopeless "old maid" status.  And I didn't even know it!  Here's the thing --

I think a lot of Christian girls of my generation grew up with the thought that they would prepare to be a wife, graduate, and meet Prince Charming.  And then what?  Life!  We'd follow our husbands, have children, reign as housewife and serve God.

But for many of us, we turned 19 and Prince Charming browned on us.  So we decided we mustn't be ready yet.  There must be more to learn in Virtuous Womanhood 101.

Twenty...um, still no Prince.

Twenty one... no sign of him.

Twenty two... okay, you'd think we'd have a hint...maybe a guy on a white charger on the horizon...

Twenty three -- believe me!  I've learned everything there is to know about cooking, cleaning, serving, parenting and housekeeping.  I'm ready, God!

Twenty four -- Signing my name under Martyr of Old Maid Status

(For some of us the years continue...)

I actually understand why "older" single women turn to their singleness as a form of identity and therefore find it their consolation and security.  We women can yearn so long for male companionship and fulfillment that when "he" won't come, we go overboard in embracing "what we are" instead of "what we don't have".  It can be tempting.  And it sounds "good".  Obviously there is nothing wrong with embracing our single-hood,  In fact it really ought to be embraced.  But our identity is who we are in Christ, not our marital status.  (Or lack thereof!).  We don't have to flaunt our single-hood in order to accept and embrace it.

My dear maidens, I want to encourage you that marriage is not the hallmark of life.  It is not when life begins.  And though we were created to be a man's helpmeet, and live with this natural yearning to fulfill that -- there is more to womanhood than marriage.

I've seen girls treat the cultivation of their character/skills as preparation to be " a good wife".  Or in shallower more accurate words -- they were working on being a good catch.
Our pursuit of godly womanhood has nothing to do with becoming "eligible".  Culinary skills and character building have more purpose than ensuring we're noticed.

So what is our purpose?  

I know that God gives individuals specific purposes.  But what is our purpose as women in general?
We were created to be helpers, to meet needs, to compliment men.  We can still fulfill this purpose without being married.

Who are the men God has placed in your life?  If you have a father, a brother(s), Pastor, or even brothers in Christ -- God has placed you in a position to be a helper.  Of course we are not under submission or subject to these men in the way we are to our husbands.  (Eph. 5:22, Titus 2:5, 1 Pet. 3:1-5).

But we can look to heroines of faith and history to realize that many unmarried women fulfilled their purpose as helper without first being married.

Through Miriam, Moses' sister, a nation was saved.  She ministered to her brother and her steadfastness, her obedience, her quick intellect saved Israel.

Mary, an unmarried women was chosen to be the mother of Jesus Christ, our Messiah.

Sophie Scholl, a German Nazi resister, was not only an inspiration to her country -- but she was a faithful companion and confidant to her brother Hans.

Katharine Wright, Orville and Wilbur's little sister is also a good example.  "Kate" used every opportunity to encourage her brothers to greatness.  Eventually she became their executive secretary and social manager.  She watched over their bicycle shop, paid bills, answered queries for scientific information, corresponded with newspapers and magazines and eventually became secretary of the Wright company.

These are a handful of the many unmarried women God has used.  We as women have the opportunity to be an encourager and helper to the men God has placed in our lives.  Just as we can also be selfish and ignore our opportunities.

Whether we marry or not, we can learn willingness and availability like Mary, we can learn courage and can stretch our intellect like Miriam.  We can learn to be trustworthy and faithful like Sophie, and serve and encourage like Katharine.  If we never marry these things will not be a waste.

There are Godly men in our generation.  I personally am surrounded by them.  Two examples:

My father is raising his children in the admonition of the Lord.  This godly pursuit is not easy in our age.  He and his helpmeet (mom) can use all the encouragement and service I have to offer.

My brother Chris is on the forefront battle against abortion.  He is part of a grassroots movement to abolish our nation's child sacrifice, (AHA).  He is attacked not only by the world but by many Christians.

The men who desire to be godly in this generation need women who have backbone, convictions, intellect, compassion and femininity.  The world hates masculinity and godly leaders.  The world will constantly chip away at their integrity.

Though it is prudent to know how to keep a house, godly womanhood involves more than that.  It behooves us to have a grasp on current affairs, to have a worldview, to be interested in more than beauty tips and fashion buzz.

As daughters, sisters and wives we are ambassadors of those who care for us. How we dress, act and serve does matter.  We represent our heavenly and earthly father.  Men who can count on their counterparts are able to go father, reach more and stand stronger.

We are persuading voices.  We are guardians of purity.  We are feminine strength.  We are a safe friend.  We are prayer warriors.  We are faithful counselors.  We are listeners.  We are encouragers.

And this does not come about naturally.  We have to invest ourselves.  This involves sweat equity, time, prayer.  It means embracing our status as non-conformists.  We are a peculiar people -- even among the peculiar.

Virtuous womanhood is more than becoming marriage materiel.  With Christ we are to walk worthy of the Lord, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God.  (Col 1:10).
Are you ready to engage the world through the spheres and people God has placed in your life?  I am.  Marriage or not, here I come.

Related Post:

Femininity 

Quote of the Day

"The compromise arising from self-pity is quite sufficient to extinguish the whole purpose of God in a life." - Oswald Chambers

White Roses

White Roses

"Tonight, as I looked up for a moment from the general jolly merry-making, as I looked out through the window at the evening sky, through the bare trees at the yellow horizon, suddenly I remembered that it was Good Friday.  The sky seemed strangely far away and indifferent and it saddened me.  Or perhaps it was the people with their empty laughter, for whom the sky had no relevance.  I felt excluded from the merry party and from the unconcerned sky."  - Sophie Scholl

I read this from Sophie's diary and my heart resonated with her.  So often I've looked up from my own merry-making and the world suddenly seems to expand before me and my own isolated bubble is exposed to the imperative issues that will inevitably touch it.

It is so much easier, and altogether more comfortable, to live in seclusion and peace of our own homes, thoughts, churches and good fortune.

Once in a while we are accosted by today's troubles.  No matter how shielded we are, it is impossible to escape the atrocities of the dying unsaved souls, suicide victims, abortion and it's murdered innocents, the neglected elderly, the emotionally scarred children in foster homes that live unwanted and unhelped.  The homeless.  They helpless.  The hopeless.

Sophie and Hans Scholl also could not escape their time and their country's horrors.  Like all of us, they were not given the choice as to which time-period they were to be born into.  They happened to be young Germans in the 1940s.  And this was their firm conviction --

"...Which one of us can foretell the unspeakable shame that will be visited on us and our children when the scales fall from our eyes and the crimes, most horrible and infinitely beyond measure, come to light?  Is the German people, in its innermost soul, so corrupt and decayed?  Will it without lifting a finger, frivolously trusting questionable laws of history, surrender the most valuable thing mans own, that which raises him above all other creatures?  Will the German people surrender free will, man's freedom to help put a spoke in the wheel of history and subordinate it to his own reason, his own decision?  If Germans are so devoid of personal individuality, if they have become so irretrievably a mindless and craven mass -- then, indeed then they deserve to perish."  
The opening sentences of the White Roses' first leaflet.

The White Rose was first birthed by a group of students who were joined in their mutual "non-conformity" and love for freedom.  All held in high revere literature that had been banned and consigned to book burning.  Each of them held their dictator in disgust, and all had witnessed in various forms the terrors of Nazism.  They eventually grew impatient of simply talking of the issues and horrors and each determined to strongly resist.  Their solution?  Issuing leaflets calling for resistance to Hitler.

When the first leaflet was dispersed in Munich Germany, it created a sensation.  It was a daring trumpet blast in the mandatory silence of Nazism.  Some took the leaflets right away to the police.  Others disposed of it.  But some of them followed the leaflet's instructions and retyped the page with as many carbon copies and passed it on.  One such person said, "Today no one will believe how happy we are to do something against the regime at long last."

The next leaflets informed the German people of the atrocities of the Fuhrer and Nazism.  "The fact is that since the conquest of Poland 300,000 Jews have bestially murdered in that country."  The leaflet stated that anyone who watched such crimes without doing something about them could not possibly acquit himself of guilt.  Their last word?

"The White Rose will not leave you in peace!"

Hans once told his sister -- "It is high time that Christians, too, [not only Communist and Social-Democratic resistance fighters] start doing something.  Chrisitans have to set up a visiable sign of resistance.  When we are asked at the end of the war, 'What did you do?' shall we stand there empty handed?"  - Hans Scholl

The Scholl siblings along with the rest of the White Rose did do something.  They appealed to their fellow Germans.  They publicly protested.  They refused to prolong Hitler's war by donating to the Nazi "Winter Aid" clothing drive that was to benefit German soldiers in Russia.  They helped prisoners of war and foreign workers.  All things what their sister Inge called "...small scale resistance, practical and tangible, and potentiality contagious."

One story of a friend further demonstrates the Scholl's resistance.

"That evening, as we walked in the English Garden, Sophie seemed very nervous to me,  She said

"...one ought to do something, for instance, write on walls."

I said, "I have a pencil in my pocket."

Sophie: "It has to be done with tar-based paint."

I: "But that's insanely dangerous."

Sophie, evasively,: The night is a friend of the free."

Next morning I went with Sophie and Hans to the university to attend Professor Huber's class... There was a big crowd of students by the university entrance staring at the stone wall.  As we came closer we saw the word FREEDOM printed in black paint in three-foot-high letters.  Several cleaning women were busily trying to scrub off the writing.  An older student said to Sophie, "Those b*******."  Hans urged us to walk on -- "We don't want to be conspicuous."  As we left, Sophie said to me under her breath, "They have a long scrub ahead of them; that's tar-paint."

These young people dared to cry for freedom in a "state where all free expression has been ruthlessly gagged".  They admonished others to "Fight the Party!  Get out of the Party organizations where they silence you with 'No Polotics!'  Get out of the lecture rooms of SS leaders and SS chief leaders and Party toadies!  We are committed to true science and genuine freedom of thought!"

If the White Rose could courageously fight and even die for such a nobal cause, it should quicken our sense of justice and duty to fight our modern culture and atrocities.

At ages 22 and 24, Sophie and Hans Scholl shook their nation with their radical stance on freedom.  Especially after their brave martyrdom.

"I remember meeting an acquaintance on the street one day, and he said to me, "Don't beam so!  They'll arrest you for beaming."  That is how it was.  We didn't have much of a chance to survive, but survival was not what counted.  Life counted.  Life itself touched our hearts through the death of Hans and Sophie Scholl and their friends. ... Hope.  That was what [they] gave us."  - Ilse Aichinger

I am not writing this to discourage or condemn.  But to inspire you as the Scholls did me.  The Bible mentions in 2 Corinthians how mortality can be swallowed up in life.  This is my desire.  And yet, to be mortal, to relish peace and security and to even grow weary of the battle and wish to close our eyes to the world and it's horrors is no condemnation.  It is our instinct.  But we can choose to be selfish mortals, or we can allow our mortality to be swallowed up in life.  His life.

I'm not saying we need to start a crusade.  I'm not saying we should sell our home and join a cause.  I'm not saying we now need to spend every 24 hours printing leaflets.

True hearted"small scale" resistance in our culture might be giving up a movie night to petition our Representatives. It might mean not pro-longing the "war" on innocents by refusing to support Pro-Choice businesses.  It might mean taking the risk of looking foolish by passing out a tract.  It might mean exercising our mind when we'd rather zone and entertain ourselves.

Many of us are busy.  Okay, all of us are insanely busy.  And that's not a condemnation.  Some of us might only realistically have 15 minutes a week to actively engage in our world's battle.  Some of us might have more.

But we will do nothing if we are convinced that we don't have any time.  If we have time to like posts on Facebook, watch a movie, play a game, email -- we have a few minutes.  We will do nothing if we are convinced that it's not our duty.  We will do nothing if we won't take it seriously.  We will do nothing if we are unconvinced at our nation's need.


But here are the facts:

Millions are on their way to Hell.
Approximately every 12.8 minutes someone dies from suicide in the U.S. alone.
3,500 babies are killed every year in the United States.
And this is just a few examples...


David asked, "Is there not a cause...?"  Absolutely.  And we can take his example to heart.  He went and did what he knew best.  He gathered stones for his sling shot.  And then he made himself available to his Strength and his Redeemer.

David had to throw off his brother's criticism.  We too must throw off criticism.  Low expectations of others.  In fact, our world expects it's young people to be self-absorbed, ignorant adolescents.
What has God gifted us with?  Of course we are weak earthen vessels, but we are the very vessels He has chosen.  God has all the power and knowledge -- He waits on us. We are not given the choice to be warriors.  We are in the midst of a battle.  But we are given the choice whether to be His warriors or not.

Every person God ever used had their own set-backs, their own weaknesses, their own hard circumstances.  But you are His warrior and He has given you life for a purpose.  What if we only have 22 years like Sophie?  Twenty two years from now even? I desire to be a White Rose in my nation and my time. I want to be able to face my death and say as  Sophie did --

"I would do everything again, exactly the same way."

Resources:

"The Short Life of Sophie Scholl" by Herman Vinke



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