Spiritual Lessons
Guest Writer Jonah Kolb shared this recently, and it was an encouragement to me and I wanted to share it with you.
'I can of my own self do nothing…'
John 5:30
Have you ever looked up to heaven and cried out to God in desperation that you could not do it?
I have. And we all need to at some time reach that point in our lives. But you know what the problem with that is? What gets in God's way in those times? Hope.
Our last tattered shred of hope in ourselves and our own ability. I repeated those words over and over to God more times than I care to count, in despair, sorrow, and even anger. It was my call of defeat. I wondered how much farther I had to fall, how much worse things would have to get for God to take a hand.
My problem was hope. Self hope. While there remained that slim possibility that I can still do it, I am a prisoner of my own hope. I imagine myself hanging off the edge a cliff. I'm slipping slowly but surely, centimeter by centimeter toward the void. Dangling there by one hand I plead over and over for my Savior to reach down and save me. Patiently He is waiting for me, while I keep slowly sliding, trying to fight my losing battle. I beg Him to help, but I keep on digging my fingernails in. I suppress my feelings of betrayal as He seems to leave me there alone. I hang there by the last shreds of my strength saying I cannot do it, while all along He patiently waits for me to let go and drop into His hand.
We petition him again and again, begging Him to reach down to our level from on high when in reality all we need to do is let go and fall to Him. We ask Him, then wait a moment and tighten up our belts and cling a little tighter. We forget that the way to the cross was not up, but down. Maybe you just need to stop losing and lose.
That's how it happened for me. It was just one final straw, insignificant really, but stacked up with all of it's kind, it was the knell of my defeat. Not in despair, but in quiet acceptance, I said, 'I can't do it'. Not a flash of brilliant revelation, but just a simple understanding, as I finally realized that God wasn't the one that needed to be told, I was. I wasn't listening to my own voice. And it was as simple as that. That is is how 'I can't do it' went from my cry of despair to my shout of victory. It's my battle cry.
Once it gets so far beyond the realm of human possibility it becomes easy. I have no choice but to leave it up to God, because I truly can't do it. And in belief in that simple statement is unbelievable relief.
Do I still struggle. Yes. Do I stumble and fall. Yes. But sometimes in falling we fall into God's hand. I'm still learning. I'm such a work in progress and there is so that needs to be done in me, but I can move forward easier with that simple assurance in my heart that I can't do it.
'Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
'I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit, for without me ye can do nothing'
John 15:4-5
'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, though wilt not despise.'
Psalm 51:17
Related Post:
A Prison of Hope
Guest Writer Jonah Kolb shared this recently, and it was an encouragement to me and I wanted to share it with you.
Shreds of Hope
'I can of my own self do nothing…'
John 5:30
Have you ever looked up to heaven and cried out to God in desperation that you could not do it?
I have. And we all need to at some time reach that point in our lives. But you know what the problem with that is? What gets in God's way in those times? Hope.
Our last tattered shred of hope in ourselves and our own ability. I repeated those words over and over to God more times than I care to count, in despair, sorrow, and even anger. It was my call of defeat. I wondered how much farther I had to fall, how much worse things would have to get for God to take a hand.
My problem was hope. Self hope. While there remained that slim possibility that I can still do it, I am a prisoner of my own hope. I imagine myself hanging off the edge a cliff. I'm slipping slowly but surely, centimeter by centimeter toward the void. Dangling there by one hand I plead over and over for my Savior to reach down and save me. Patiently He is waiting for me, while I keep slowly sliding, trying to fight my losing battle. I beg Him to help, but I keep on digging my fingernails in. I suppress my feelings of betrayal as He seems to leave me there alone. I hang there by the last shreds of my strength saying I cannot do it, while all along He patiently waits for me to let go and drop into His hand.
We petition him again and again, begging Him to reach down to our level from on high when in reality all we need to do is let go and fall to Him. We ask Him, then wait a moment and tighten up our belts and cling a little tighter. We forget that the way to the cross was not up, but down. Maybe you just need to stop losing and lose.
That's how it happened for me. It was just one final straw, insignificant really, but stacked up with all of it's kind, it was the knell of my defeat. Not in despair, but in quiet acceptance, I said, 'I can't do it'. Not a flash of brilliant revelation, but just a simple understanding, as I finally realized that God wasn't the one that needed to be told, I was. I wasn't listening to my own voice. And it was as simple as that. That is is how 'I can't do it' went from my cry of despair to my shout of victory. It's my battle cry.
Once it gets so far beyond the realm of human possibility it becomes easy. I have no choice but to leave it up to God, because I truly can't do it. And in belief in that simple statement is unbelievable relief.
Do I still struggle. Yes. Do I stumble and fall. Yes. But sometimes in falling we fall into God's hand. I'm still learning. I'm such a work in progress and there is so that needs to be done in me, but I can move forward easier with that simple assurance in my heart that I can't do it.
'Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
'I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit, for without me ye can do nothing'
John 15:4-5
'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, though wilt not despise.'
Psalm 51:17
Related Post:
A Prison of Hope
This is an incredible, concise and wonderfully true post! Thank you for sharing it with all of us, Jonah!
ReplyDeleteReally liked this Jonah,very true. I had already read it once but it was just as good the second time.
ReplyDeleteTasha