Shreds of Hope

Spiritual Lessons

Guest Writer Jonah Kolb shared this recently, and it was an encouragement to me and I wanted to share it with you.

 Shreds of Hope

  'I can of my own self do nothing…'
     John 5:30

  Have you ever looked up to heaven and cried out to God in desperation that you could not do it?
  I have. And we all need to at some time reach that point in our lives. But you know what the problem with that is? What gets in God's way in those times? Hope.
  Our last tattered shred of hope in ourselves and our own ability. I repeated those words over and over to God more times than I care to count, in despair, sorrow,  and even anger. It was my call of defeat. I wondered how much farther I had to fall, how much worse things would have to get for God to take a hand.
  My problem was hope. Self hope. While there remained that slim possibility that I can still do it, I am a prisoner of my own hope. I imagine myself hanging off the edge a cliff. I'm slipping slowly but surely, centimeter by centimeter toward the void. Dangling there by one hand I plead over and over for my Savior to reach down and save me. Patiently He is waiting for me, while I keep slowly sliding, trying to fight my losing battle. I beg Him to help, but I keep on digging my fingernails in. I suppress my feelings of betrayal as He seems to leave me there alone. I hang there by the last shreds of my strength saying I cannot do it, while all along He patiently waits for me to let go and drop into His hand.
  We petition him again and again, begging Him to reach down to our level from on high when in reality all we need to do is let go and fall to Him. We ask Him, then wait a moment and tighten up our belts and cling a little tighter. We forget that the way to the cross was not up, but down. Maybe you just need to stop losing and lose.
  That's how it happened for me. It was just one final straw,  insignificant really, but stacked up with all of it's kind, it was the knell of my defeat. Not in despair, but in quiet acceptance,  I said, 'I can't do it'. Not a flash of brilliant revelation, but just a simple understanding, as I finally realized that God wasn't the one that needed to be told, I was. I wasn't listening to my own voice. And it was as simple as that. That is is how 'I can't do it' went from my cry of despair to my shout of victory. It's my battle cry.
  Once it gets so far beyond the realm of human possibility it becomes easy. I have no choice but to leave it up to God, because I truly can't do it. And in belief in that simple statement is unbelievable relief.
  Do I still struggle. Yes. Do I stumble and fall. Yes. But sometimes in falling we fall into God's hand. I'm still learning. I'm such a work in progress and there is so that needs to be done in me, but I can move forward easier with that simple assurance in my heart that I can't do it.

  'Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
  'I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit, for without me ye can do nothing'
  John 15:4-5

  'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, though wilt not despise.'
Psalm 51:17

Related Post:

A Prison of Hope

Resting in His Time

Spiritual Lessons

"Resting in His Time"

I stepped into her new little home. It was small, but cozy. There were old family pictures on the wall and blankets folded up in a chest. She pointed out what once used to be her grandmother's and that was now passed down for her own household. It was sweet. Here she was, newly married, pregnant, and getting ready to set out on an adventure of a lifetime. And in a small way, I envied her. I've always dreamed of doing some of those same things. Getting married, setting up your own little 'home', having babies, and starting off on the adventures of life along side your best friend. It was almost a melancholy feeling, even though I was really happy for my friend.

Timing is something I've been pondering lately. It seems like God rarely ever does things how we expect Him to, if ever. Even things we feel like He's told us about. His timing certainly isn't ours and when the Bible says "His ways are past finding out" (Romans 11), He really meant it. And honestly, that's probably a very good thing. God gives us grace for the 'here and now', and not our tomorrows. If you could peak ahead and glance at what your life would be like in 5 years...would you? I would be tempted to. I'm a naturally curious person. But I know that I'd regret it if I had. Here I would have seen some things, possibly even really hard things, and I would have forfeited my 5 years of His grace in preparing me for that future time. Now that might seem rather silly to some. Obviously, you CAN'T see into your future, whether you would choose to or not. But, I think some girls are in danger of doing this in their hearts and even their imaginations. They 'dream up' what their futures will be. They have expectations. And when these expectations aren't met, they fall into despair. Sometimes we even hold expectations as to timing. I wouldn't have thought I'd be almost 23 and still single. My mom was married rather young and so were some of my sisters. It was just kind of an 'expected'. But, here I am regardless. And I'm thankful. God hasn't failed me, because I'm still unmarried. And God would still not have failed me  even if I NEVER got married. Why? Because my life is to be "hid with Christ in God". I belong to Him. I was created for His purpose above any other. He has a reason for His timing, even though we can't see it for ourselves. And in a way, it really is thrilling. He has a beautiful purpose for my life...even right now at this moment... and it is a purpose for good. For His glory, for our sanctification, and for others' service. He obviously doesn't have a need for me to be married just yet, or else I would be, and that's okay. He knows exactly what He is doing and I can trust Him for it. He cares. I'm not forgotten in the shuffle. 

As a single young woman, sometimes there are the "ups and downs" of being single. At least, there is for me. As much as maybe we'd even like to suppress it, we can't deny that as a woman, we were created to compliment a man. There is no way around it. It is a natural God given desire and calling. We were created to nurture. Whether that be children, our husbands, our families, brothers and sisters, our communities, our pets, a garden, or even plants! It's there. And sometimes, in being single, it can be a frustrating desire to deal with. It would be easier just to "throw in the towel" so to speak and say "who needs men! I'm getting an apartment and a dog!" But true peace and real purpose for my life lies in surrender. Laying down all our desires, natural, God given, or otherwise, and placing ourselves in His will for His divine purpose. Just as I wouldn't seek marriage to complete or fulfill my life, I also wouldn't swing in the other direction and embrace singleness to prove my independence. Embracing or denying a desire doesn't make it go away. It must be given over to God. He can deal with it. He can give us the grace and strength to be content and courageous women for Him right where He's placed us.

If you are still single, you can count on it, there is a divine reason for it. I'd like to encourage you to stay faithful to Him. He's doing something special. He's preparing your heart. He's writing your story. Marriage is only a step in the journey. It isn't the journey itself. So even in the ups and downs of being single, the happy times, the hard times. The times when it feels so easy, when you feel content and ready to serve Him alone. When your heart is soaring. And then the times too, when hope feels lost and desire seems forgotten. When your heart feels the squeeze of a hope deferred. Can we still trust Him? Yes. Can we rest in His timing for us? Yes. Knowing that He works "all things together for good". (Romans 8) Knowing that "all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." (Colossians 1)

A Prison of Hope

Spiritual Lessons

A Prison of Hope

“Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee;”

(Zechariah 9:12)

“Ye prisoners of hope”. I read this verse just recently in my devotions. I'd never thought of 'hope' as possibly being a ‘prison’ before. It was a concept that interested me. Usually, if I would ever think of hope, especially in comparison to a prison, I would naturally assume it lied outside of the prison walls. Maybe like the light that shines through the cell window, or the lingering distant escape from something. Like our future escape from our present reality. Hope should feel like the light at the end of the tunnel...right? Yes, but not always. Hope can be a prison of its very own. Sometimes God asks us to hope for something, and that very hope can actually feel like a heavy burden, a cross to bear, or in this case, a prison. Sometimes, it hurts to hope. It cuts deep into our insecurity and vulnerability. The pain of an absolute, declarative “no” would often times feel more gracious than His, “maybe, wait and see”. Having an unanswered desire can feel more difficult to bear sometimes, than a direct answer. Hope can be painful. Especially when it involves someone else.

Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.”

The truth is, our hearts are afraid of being sick. Hope feels open and vulnerable and risky. It is easier not to hope at all, than the fear of being made sick by it. Our hearts are sensitive and fragile. We fear disappointment. We fear rejection. We fear heartaches. But the Lord doesn’t advocate us to fear in this way. We are to fear Him, certainly, but He tells us to “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” (Luke 12:32) He tells us in I John 4:18 that “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

Sometimes He asks us to hope, even when it hurts to. Sometimes He asks us to hope against hope. And sometimes He will even reveal a specific future promise and then require us to hope in Him for its fulfillment. Our hopes can take all different forms. They are unique and personal to each of us. Some cannot even be shared with others.

Some “prisons of hope” are merely rotting structures of selfish. Sometimes they are caused by our own foolish making. Not all “hope” in our hearts is by any means “spiritual” or should be nurtured as such. The Bible tells us that our hearts are deceitfully wicked. We need to seek the Lord in honesty and complete surrender as to what hopes He’s allowed or not. Sometimes in our prisons of hope, He never actually intended us to be there in the first place and has already unlocked and opened the door for our escape and we are too busy wallowing in our own self-pity to walk out.

Dear heart, do you find yourself trapped inside a “prison of hope”? I would like to encourage you. Jesus knows the hope you feel.

“For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:15-16)

He was in “all points tempted like as we are”. You are not alone. He cares about the state of your heart. He understands what it is to feel the pain of a heartache. He cares when you feel trapped by a prison of hope. He sees when your heart takes off hoping, even without your mental consent to do so. Sometimes we can’t help hoping. And that is okay. I John 3: 20 says, “For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.”

We have a safe place to turn. Jesus is greater than our hearts. But I would encourage you to examine your heart, to examine your prison of hope. It is honestly a place the Lord has allowed you to be in? Has He asked you to hope there? If not, we must surrender that hope. We must ask Him to take all our hope, all our desire, and replace it with His best and perfect will for us. His will is never something to fear. He is love. He delights to give us the desires of our hearts, but only when He knows that that desire will not hurt us. Love cannot allow that. Love must always provide through the best possible. And if you are in a place, a prison that Jesus has asked you to hope in, then take heart, my friend, and trust Him.

Zechariah 9:12 said, “Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee;”

In our prison of hope, we have a strong hold that we are commanded to turn to. And that strong hold is Jesus.

“But the LORD is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge.” (Psalms 94:22)

“The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.” (Nahum 1:7)

“Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.” (Psalms 71:3)

“For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.” (Psalms 71:5)

Jesus is there in the dear hopes of our hearts, as well as in our deep heartaches. I remember when I discovered for the very first time what it truly meant to feel literal physical pain from a heartache. It no longer was a “term” I’d heard, but a reality in my life. And Jesus was there. Holding me. Comforting me. He eased the pain. And He gave me Psalms 69:32-34, “…and your heart shall live that seek God. For the LORD heareth the poor, and despiseth not his prisoners. Let the heaven and earth praise him….”

The heart that seeks Him shall live. We can abide in a place of hope, because He is our hope. He is faithful. We can trust Him with our hearts. We do not have to fear disappointment from Him.

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.” (Psalms 42:5)

“And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee.”       (Psalms 39: 7)

Is your soul cast down? Hope thou in God. He is our help. He is our refuge. He is our stay. We can trust Him with our hope.

“That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil; Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus, made an high priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.” (Hebrews 6:18-20)

Keeping our Hearts with Diligence (Part II)

Spiritual Lessons

Keeping our Hearts with Diligence

Part Two

This is the continuation from my previous post "Keeping our Hearts with Diligence (Part I)".

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."  (Proverbs 4:23) 

In my previous post on keeping our hearts with diligence, I stopped with the subject of our eyes. Who we might be looking at. What we are looking for. Where we are setting our affections. 

Colossians 3:2-3 says- "Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God." 

The problem is most of us haven't even realized who we truly belong to. The reason our affections aren't on things above, but are rather, on this earth, is because our lives are not hid with Christ in God. But they are supposed to be. In fact, Romans 12:1-2 tells us that this is only our “reasonable service”. Paul couldn’t even go beyond what was “reasonable”, because the Christians wouldn’t even do that. And while the desires of our hearts can be extremely hard to give up, I know, it is a crucial part of our walk with the Lord. We do not belong to ourselves. It is not our life alone, to choose what we want to do with it or who we will spend it with. We answer to the Lord.

“Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.” (v.26)

Here I would like to talk about our path. “Let our ways be established”. Where are we going? What is our goal? What are we establishing?

I heard it said recently, that “You are either devising your own way or God is ordering your steps.” When it comes to our heart’s path, there isn’t much middle ground. Either you are conniving to get what you want or you are waiting on what the Lord wants to give you. And if you would but search your heart a little while, you’d know exactly which one you were. The truth is, our actions speak louder than our words. A lot of young girls will say that they are waiting on the Lord, but their actions do not prove it to be true. They seem almost desperate to attach themselves to someone. This shouldn’t be. Why? Because our contentment is found in the Lord. He is the One satisfying our heart’s desire. He fills all our emotional needs. He is love. He is our purpose. He is our goal. Sometimes it is needful to ask ourselves a few questions.

 Just to see where our hearts honestly are.

Am I content exactly where God has placed me?

Is there anything (or anyone) that seems to always come before my desire for Christ?

Am I patient and happy to wait for His perfect timing, even if it’s much longer than I would have expected?

Is there just as much peace in letting go of my desires as in seeing them fulfilled?

Proverbs 28:26 says, “He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.”

“Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way.” (Proverbs 23:19)

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying before, “follow your heart”. What a dangerous thing to do! Seeing as our hearts are deceitfully wicked above all things. They are not supposed to be followed, or heeded in the least. No, instead, we are actually commanded to guide our hearts. So, while our hearts will often at times feel completely unruly and impossible to deal with, they aren’t. How are we to guide our hearts? By trusting them to Jesus.

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

By trusting our hearts to the Lord, we allow Him to lead them. This often requires continual surrender. But with surrender, comes a blessed peace. The Lord Jesus wants to establish our ways. He wants to lead our hearts. His paths are always the loveliest to follow. He is a good Heavenly Father. He delights to give His children good things. We can trust Him. And no path can be deemed lonely when He is the One traveling it with you.

“He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” (Psalms 40:2)

In Isaiah 55: 8 and 9, we see where the Lord’s thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways, not our ways. They are infinitely higher and so much wiser. Sometimes, it would seem, the Lord has to rescue me from myself. Thinking that I know what is best for me, when in reality, I don’t. Of course, we all think that if we really got what our hearts longed and wished for it would all turn out right in the end. But just as a wise mother lovingly holds back her child from danger, so Christ holds us back from what we don’t understand. We will never see as He sees. And we can never love ourselves as much as He truly loves us. There is just as much love in His “yes” as in His “no”.

I remember one time in my life, a couple of years ago, when I wondered about a certain young man in my life. I found myself attracted to him and wondered if the feeling was mutual. Considering whether he might be the Lord’s will for me or not, I prayed about it. And the Lord gave me John 21:21-22.

“Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me.”

Basically, it is none of your business.  J
What is my path? To follow after Jesus. And the rest is His responsibility. It doesn’t matter who your future husband may or may not be, or where he even is, that is for the Lord to direct. We are to be waiting and keeping our hearts with all purity, with all diligence. The Lord has to be our goal. Not marriage. Not a relationship. Not anything else. Just Him.

“Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.” (v. 27)

And then, we have the command to “turn not” and to “remove thy foot from evil.” Again, it isn’t “evil” to like someone. It isn’t “evil” to want to get married. But it is evil to be thinking or dwelling on anything that doesn’t fit into the verse of Philippians 4:8.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

In removing our foot from evil, we need to be establishing our thoughts.

“Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)

Our thoughts are very important to the Lord. It is easy to excuse them as not really being “that big of a deal”, especially since no one else can actually see them and aren’t necessarily effected by them. But this isn’t actually true. For one thing, Jesus sees all our thoughts. He is the discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) And if for no other reason, we should care that our thoughts are pure because of Him. Proverbs 23:7 tells us “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:” What we think about, says a lot about us. Where our minds continually dwell, says a lot about where our hearts are. And while others may not see your thoughts per se, our thoughts affect our actions, which then affect those around us. It is important where our minds wonder. You are not alone in your little world of imagination. Girls tend to daydream to an unhealthy level. It almost seems to be built into our nature somehow. Like the little girl who always wants to play house. We were made to be homemakers and “nesting” comes, oh, too easily. We think about what our future might look like. Girls are also very relational. And it is not uncommon for girls to often think about their future husbands (or who that might be) and even their future children before ever entering that time of their life. And while it might not necessarily be wicked, it can be dangerous. It can be taken to an unhealthy level and reality can be lost. Our “fantasy”, or even hope of what our futures might be, can become more enjoyable to live than our actual life.

Proverbs 24:9 says, “The thought of foolishness is sin:”

This verse puts an immediate stop to all day dreaming, because that’s exactly what it is. Foolishness. According to Philippians 4:8, it isn’t whatsoever things are true. It isn’t whatsoever things are honest. It is vanity.

If you’ve ever “liked” someone in particular, you already know just how easy it is to think about that person. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, he can be in the back of your thoughts. And while thinking about that person isn’t necessarily a sin itself, and honestly just comes naturally, what we are thinking could be. Are you already mentally planning as if you’d spend your future with him? This isn’t right. This isn’t whatsoever things are just. Are your thoughts always drifting to the romantic side of things? This isn’t whatsoever things are pure; whatsoever things are lovely; whatsoever things are of good report. There are other thoughts along this subject which are more subtle, but equally just as dangerous if not more so. These are the thoughts about this “special someone” that actually are true. Things said or events that actually happened. Such as, maybe the last time your families spent the day together or when you last saw him at church; whatever it might be. Our minds have a way of “replaying” everything. Like, how he looked at you, or even if he looked at you. What was said; how we laughed together. Maybe the things you did. All these “little things” become precious and hidden away in our hearts when we like someone. But my question is: Is it virtuous? Is it praiseworthy? Philippians 4:8 says “…if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” And it is all such thoughts that we must surrender to the Lord. They are not healthy for us to hold so close to our hearts, or to replay in our minds.

II Corinthians 10:5 says, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ:”

Our thoughts must be brought captive to the obedience of Christ. When our minds wonder foolishly or even romantically, we must stop and submit them to the Lord. It hast to be a conscious effort. It is a choice we make. “Casting down imaginations”.  We must cast them down at Jesus’ feet. And when we do, we’ll find that He is always there faithfully waiting to take our thoughts and imaginations. That He has already promised the victory. It is ours to claim at the very moment our hearts looks up towards Him. Ephesians 4:23 says, “And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;” Our minds need to be renewed. And it is by taking them to Jesus that He then forgives and cleanses and renews them again.

“And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts?” (Matthew 9:4)

“The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.” (Psalms 10:4)

Sadly, what could be said of the “wicked” here, could also be said of most Christians. God is not in all his thoughts. And what a difference it would make if He was!

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalms 139:23-24)

In order for the Lord to even be able to help us keep our hearts with diligence, they must first be given to Him. He must have our heart. Our will must be put into neutral. Our hearts cannot be set on anything that isn’t of the Lord. Even with the things that just aren’t His timing yet. We cannot have a froward heart. To stubbornly insist on our own way is heartache.

“He that hath a froward heart findeth no good:” (Proverbs 17:20)

“They that are of a froward heart are abomination to the LORD: but such as are upright in their way are his delight.” (Proverbs 11:20)

In Luke 12, we are encouraged to “take no thought for your life”. I think this is the biggest secret to keeping our hearts with all diligence. Letting God be our everything. When we have let go of our life, our plans, our dreams, our heart’s desires, our future hopes, and our deepest longings; when instead, all else becomes as complete loss compared to Him; when He becomes that one desire of our hearts.

“I’ve been a great deal happier since I have given up thinking about what is easy and pleasant, and being discontented because I couldn’t have my own will. Our life is determined for us; and it makes the mind very free when we give up wishing, and only think of bearing what is laid upon us, and doing what is given us to do.” George Eliot

Quote of the Day

"Come my heart, be calm and hopeful today. Clouds may gather, but the Lord can blow them away. Since God will not fail me, my faith shall not fail; and, as He will not forsake me, neither will I forsake Him." (Charles Spurgeon)