Spiritual Lessons
"Resting in His Time"
I stepped into her new little home. It was small, but cozy. There were old family pictures on the wall and blankets folded up in a chest. She pointed out what once used to be her grandmother's and that was now passed down for her own household. It was sweet. Here she was, newly married, pregnant, and getting ready to set out on an adventure of a lifetime. And in a small way, I envied her. I've always dreamed of doing some of those same things. Getting married, setting up your own little 'home', having babies, and starting off on the adventures of life along side your best friend. It was almost a melancholy feeling, even though I was really happy for my friend.
Timing is something I've been pondering lately. It seems like God rarely ever does things how we expect Him to, if ever. Even things we feel like He's told us about. His timing certainly isn't ours and when the Bible says "His ways are past finding out" (Romans 11), He really meant it. And honestly, that's probably a very good thing. God gives us grace for the 'here and now', and not our tomorrows. If you could peak ahead and glance at what your life would be like in 5 years...would you? I would be tempted to. I'm a naturally curious person. But I know that I'd regret it if I had. Here I would have seen some things, possibly even really hard things, and I would have forfeited my 5 years of His grace in preparing me for that future time. Now that might seem rather silly to some. Obviously, you CAN'T see into your future, whether you would choose to or not. But, I think some girls are in danger of doing this in their hearts and even their imaginations. They 'dream up' what their futures will be. They have expectations. And when these expectations aren't met, they fall into despair. Sometimes we even hold expectations as to timing. I wouldn't have thought I'd be almost 23 and still single. My mom was married rather young and so were some of my sisters. It was just kind of an 'expected'. But, here I am regardless. And I'm thankful. God hasn't failed me, because I'm still unmarried. And God would still not have failed me even if I NEVER got married. Why? Because my life is to be "hid with Christ in God". I belong to Him. I was created for His purpose above any other. He has a reason for His timing, even though we can't see it for ourselves. And in a way, it really is thrilling. He has a beautiful purpose for my life...even right now at this moment... and it is a purpose for good. For His glory, for our sanctification, and for others' service. He obviously doesn't have a need for me to be married just yet, or else I would be, and that's okay. He knows exactly what He is doing and I can trust Him for it. He cares. I'm not forgotten in the shuffle.
As a single young woman, sometimes there are the "ups and downs" of being single. At least, there is for me. As much as maybe we'd even like to suppress it, we can't deny that as a woman, we were created to compliment a man. There is no way around it. It is a natural God given desire and calling. We were created to nurture. Whether that be children, our husbands, our families, brothers and sisters, our communities, our pets, a garden, or even plants! It's there. And sometimes, in being single, it can be a frustrating desire to deal with. It would be easier just to "throw in the towel" so to speak and say "who needs men! I'm getting an apartment and a dog!" But true peace and real purpose for my life lies in surrender. Laying down all our desires, natural, God given, or otherwise, and placing ourselves in His will for His divine purpose. Just as I wouldn't seek marriage to complete or fulfill my life, I also wouldn't swing in the other direction and embrace singleness to prove my independence. Embracing or denying a desire doesn't make it go away. It must be given over to God. He can deal with it. He can give us the grace and strength to be content and courageous women for Him right where He's placed us.
If you are still single, you can count on it, there is a divine reason for it. I'd like to encourage you to stay faithful to Him. He's doing something special. He's preparing your heart. He's writing your story. Marriage is only a step in the journey. It isn't the journey itself. So even in the ups and downs of being single, the happy times, the hard times. The times when it feels so easy, when you feel content and ready to serve Him alone. When your heart is soaring. And then the times too, when hope feels lost and desire seems forgotten. When your heart feels the squeeze of a hope deferred. Can we still trust Him? Yes. Can we rest in His timing for us? Yes. Knowing that He works "all things together for good". (Romans 8) Knowing that "all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." (Colossians 1)
Beautifully written, Lynea! and from my perspective, you are wise in just relaxing and enjoying the days God gives you...when and if marriage is meant for you, it will all fall into place. My daughter is 26 and does not even have any prospects, but I trust that when the time is right, He will bring the right man into her life....or not! Either way, His will is perfect. I can see that my daughter still is growing and learning and may have more to learn before He decides she is ready for marriage, and that may be true for you as well! I am just happy to read how you are resting in Him and His timing! That is a gift!
ReplyDeleteThank you Miss Donna for your comment. It was very sweet and encouraging to me. You are right. This time is a gift and I'm know He has lots more to teach me still. Thank you for taking the time to follow our blog.
Delete"...Denying a desire doesn't make it go away." SO TRUE Nay. We can embrace a desire and dream and relish it -- and it doesn't make it come to fruition. Or we can deny our desire and "get an apartment and a dog" and ignore our yearning for marriage -- and it doesn't make it go away.
ReplyDeleteI know I will always (unless God miraculously changes my heart) yearn for marriage. I am so thankful to know it isn't a sin to, but natural to have these feelings. But I also know that God has purposefully extended my gift of singleness beyond my expectation -- and it's for good. Singleness doesn't turn into a curse when we reach 24. :) Instead He has specific plans for me now. Singleness is a gift to actively use for His glory. (Just as marriage would be someday). I loved how you said that God hasn't failed us if He never gives us the expectation of our hearts. I've always assumed I was made to be a young man's wife someday. And I always assumed it would be before 30. But if I had to wait over 7 years, or if I was never granted marriage, God would still be my faithful friend. He would still be a good God. And I would still happily serve Him. He knows best.
We have a specific journey laid out before us Nay. And in this day and age, when we are radically and completely given over to Christ, we can be sure it will be an incredible journey (marriage or no marriage). Being a Christian is easy, but being an obedient Christian is full of suffering and sweetness, trials and triumphs: it's an extreme, exciting path and I'm thankful you're my friend Nay, joining me in it. God is already using you. So here's to a life full of Him and His purpose (married or unmarried).
Thank you Toni! Your comment really was a blessing to me. I appreciate you so much. So thankful to be sold out to His purpose (whatever that entails!) ... and that you too, are on this journey beside me.
DeleteThis is wonderfully expressed, Nay! What a blessing when God gives words and thank you for sharing them. I can emphatically affirm from my own life experience that timing is everything and when you wait for God it is impeccable! At this point in my life I have no regrets over the single years I've had and at 33 years old the timing of how and when God brought Alex and me together is exactly right. I hope that encourages you and others. I tried not to waste my singleness pining and now I can look back on some wonderful memories and a lot of times of growth that will only help Alex and I in our relationship. God is so gracious and His plan is far better than anything we could concoct ourselves!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jana. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. You are such a blessing to me. I'm thrilled for you and to see how God has worked His timing in your life. Thank you for staying faithful and being such an encouragement.
DeleteYour testimony IS an encouragement Jana! If you ever feel the itch to write, and would enjoy sharing, please feel free to write for MA. :) Praying for both of you.
ReplyDeleteLately I've been thinking about the goodness of our God... it's hard to put in words but essentially I realized that even if He stopped giving us gifts (the *special* things that go over and above our needs) and in fact even if we were not around, He would still be good. It is part of His nature! And so we must never judge His goodness and faithfulness and timing by how generous we perceive Him to be at the time.
ReplyDeleteLast week on Pinterest, I saw this quote which seemed to finally capsulize many of my recent thoughts... I was struck by its simplicity and adaptability to each of our situations.
"And if not, He is still good."
~ Emily
Thank you so much for the comment Emily. You are so right about not judging God by our own perceptions. I really appreciated the quote you shared on here. "And if not, He is still good." Awesome and thought provoking in just a few small words! Thank you for following and for being another faithful sister in Christ! God Bless.
DeleteLove the little quote Emily! Thanks for sharing that. He will always be good, no matter what!
ReplyDeleteNay I died laughing for a minute or more at this phrase, "who needs men! I'm getting an apartment and a dog!" haha It's truly hilarious and the exact embodiment of those moment of true 'despairing' of our hope and deciding it's easier not to hope than to have that hope delayed or denied. This is great! Well written and simply honest. I am at a point where I am very content to go on and serve God exactly where he has me, but there are moment of longing.... days on and off. It's just the single life. I loved how you pointed out that denying a desire doesn't make it disappear. Well put.
ReplyDeleteEmily, I love the quote thank you for sharing it.
Thanks Liss. I appreciate your comment.
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