The Heart of the Matter (Part One)

Spiritual Lessons

The Heart of the Matter
Part One

“But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20: 24)

“The heart of the matter”- basically, the root issue or core problem. I would like to try and express to you, reader, something that the Lord once dealt with me before in my life. Something which burdened my own soul, and which I believe still holds its grasp around most single Christian young girls today- the desire for marriage. 

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It is something I think any girl would naturally desire. It is perfectly normal and even good. To be a wife and a mother is a high and godly calling and one we should actually be preparing ourselves for. To want marriage, to anticipate and hope for it, to prepare yourself for it, is both a righteous and pure thing. God made marriage. He designed it. In fact, He created us for it. He made Eve for Adam. She was to be his “helpmeet”. That was her calling. So, before I give the wrong impression, I’d like to say that I am not in any way against marriage. I desire to be married someday just like the next girl. I have little hopes and dreams of my wedding day too. But, I would like to address the slump most Christian girls find themselves in when their hopes for getting married are not met.

I’m always hearing young women talk about their struggle with being single, as if it were the greatest possible trial in life. Or girls who complain about the strange in between of girlhood and marriage as a frustrating time to just “bear through”. They seem to view this “stage” of life as a great sorrow to patiently endure until hopefully “Prince Charming” arrives on the scene. Such girls seem to be discontent, impatient, idle, and frivolous or even desperate. They then view marriage as their rescue from a boring, miserable existence and marriage becomes the answer to their current problems and their entire focus and purpose for living altogether. This shouldn’t be.

First off, Marriage should be considered a gift, not a goal.

Each season of life is precious and has something very special to offer. The past can be remembered and the future can be hoped for, but it is the present that we live now. You cannot go back in time and open the birthday presents you once received on your 4th birthday. And you might say, well, obviously. That is silly. But in the exact same way, you cannot go forward in time and open the presents you might receive (by the grace of God!) on your 80th birthday! And again, you might be thinking, how silly. But isn't this honestly what girls do? They jump ahead in the years of their life, maybe not to their 80th birthday, but instead to the day that they might open their wedding presents. Living in the "imagination of tomorrow", is the same thing. You are throwing away the present in exchange for something that isn't even real. That's scary. We cannot wait to do the things that take up our  life on a daily basis. For example, we can't wake up one morning and say, "Oh, I'll just live Tuesday tomorrow, instead of today". It doesn't work, for obvious reasons. We aren’t holding our breath. But then why do girls do this when it comes to waiting for marriage? We do not wait for a time, which we are never actually guaranteed, in order to live for the Lord. At least, I hope you wouldn’t! You give Him your present, because that is all you have. Jesus talks about how no man knows what the future holds. We are only given today. He says to “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” (Matthew 6:34)

Proverbs 27:1 says- “Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.”

And in James 4:14-15 it says- “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.”

“For what is your life?” Good question. And He gives a very sobering answer. “A vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” When we choose to wait in order to live our life to the fullest that God intended it to be lived, whether that is for some reason, something, or more specifically, someone, we are choosing not to live our life altogether. We are only given today, to live unto the Lord. Why waste it dreaming of what you intend to do tomorrow? That is foolishness. Marriage isn’t our goal. Christ should be our goal. He is our reason for living. He should be the reason and driving force behind all that we do. Each season of life is a gift from God. Whether that is your childhood, your single years, or your married years. It is a special time that He not only knows about, but actually planned for, and that He wants to use in some special way. To waste that time, because it isn't what you would have necessarily chosen for yourself, is actually being a bad steward of what the Master has given us. 

In Matthew 25, we are given the parable of a lord testing his servants. He travelled to a far country and left his three servants delivered with his goods.

 “And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.”

Here we see how this lord was certainly fair. He didn’t give to any of these three servants what they weren’t able to do, but according to their ability. He didn’t expect the servant which only had 2 talents, to do exactly what the servant with 5 talents was able to do. But he did expect them to utilize what they were each given.

“After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.” (Matthew 25:15-28)

This servant was rebuked for being slothful and hiding away what he was entrusted with to utilize and gain from. And while this parable is speaking of talents, I believe it can also apply to our time. Our single years could be compared in the same sort of way. God knows what we are each able to handle. Some young women are entrusted with more years in their singlehood than others. Like the servant who was given 5 talents as opposed to the servant who was only given 1. He is a fair and faithful Master, and doesn’t expect something that He doesn’t also give us the ability to do. But, I think many Christian young girls are guilty of the same fault that this lord found in his servant. Maybe not so much out of fear, but certainly from neglect, we waste our talent (time) that we have been entrusted with, that our Master seeks to use. Maybe that problem for some is that they are comparing themselves to another one of our Lord’s servants? If I was only like “so and so” or was able to do “such and such”, I would be more content and joyful or useful with my time as a single person. This is a dangerous attitude to have. Where is our trust in what the Master has specifically chosen for you to do?

Our single years can be years filled with amazing opportunities that may never come again, if we would only accept them as such and be good stewards with what our Lord has entrusted us with. 

Secondly, it is not our right to demand anything of the Lord. 

I Corinthians 6:19-20 says- “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.”

Who do we really belong to? “Ye are not your own”. We have been bought with a price. We belong to Christ. And while we are called God’s sons, we are also called His servants. In I Corinthians 7:22-23 it says, “For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.”

He is LORD. He is our Master. He is the one who made you. And He has the right to demand whatsoever He will. Matthew 10:24 says how “The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord.”

If Christians would not only understand this truth, but actually apply it to their daily lives, how different their testimony would be! I think we have fallen short, way short, of what Christians are really called to. Romans 12 says how it is only our “reasonable service” to present our bodies as a living sacrifice to Him.

Marriage is something that Jesus may, or may not, choose to give us. It is a gift and gifts have to be given. Otherwise, it is then no longer a real gift. Marriage isn’t something we have a right to demand for ourselves or to take for ourselves. Jesus has the right to say no and we must accept that.

I heard it said recently, that you are either devising your own way or God is ordering your steps. This is very true. There is no middle road. We are either living for Christ or we are living for ourselves. We either desire to please Him with all that we do, or we are seeking our own selfish pleasure. He is leading the way, or I am running off on my own fancy. Do we care to see His desires fulfilled in us? Or just ours? What is His will for me? What are His thoughts on a given subject? Are you willing to let Him keep your heart completely for Him? Or is that same heart given out in several different directions? And we all know this to be true. This isn’t something we haven’t heard before. But which one are you?

 “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matthew 6:24)

Just as we have no right to demand for ourselves, marriage, we also have no right to demand our own forms of happiness and pleasure in this life altogether. Not if our lives are truly God’s.

“For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.” (Colossians 3:3-4)

Romans 15:3 says, “For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.”

If the Son of God came not to please Himself, who do we think we are to demand our own pleasures and happiness? To think that we are here to fulfill our own little dreams is almost absurd. Christ submitted Himself to the Father. His words were the Father’s words. And His works were the Father’s works. He came to do the Father’s will. How much more should we?

“He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.” (I John 2:6)

To be continued...

Keeping our Hearts with Diligence (Part II)

Spiritual Lessons

Keeping our Hearts with Diligence

Part Two

This is the continuation from my previous post "Keeping our Hearts with Diligence (Part I)".

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."  (Proverbs 4:23) 

In my previous post on keeping our hearts with diligence, I stopped with the subject of our eyes. Who we might be looking at. What we are looking for. Where we are setting our affections. 

Colossians 3:2-3 says- "Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God." 

The problem is most of us haven't even realized who we truly belong to. The reason our affections aren't on things above, but are rather, on this earth, is because our lives are not hid with Christ in God. But they are supposed to be. In fact, Romans 12:1-2 tells us that this is only our “reasonable service”. Paul couldn’t even go beyond what was “reasonable”, because the Christians wouldn’t even do that. And while the desires of our hearts can be extremely hard to give up, I know, it is a crucial part of our walk with the Lord. We do not belong to ourselves. It is not our life alone, to choose what we want to do with it or who we will spend it with. We answer to the Lord.

“Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.” (v.26)

Here I would like to talk about our path. “Let our ways be established”. Where are we going? What is our goal? What are we establishing?

I heard it said recently, that “You are either devising your own way or God is ordering your steps.” When it comes to our heart’s path, there isn’t much middle ground. Either you are conniving to get what you want or you are waiting on what the Lord wants to give you. And if you would but search your heart a little while, you’d know exactly which one you were. The truth is, our actions speak louder than our words. A lot of young girls will say that they are waiting on the Lord, but their actions do not prove it to be true. They seem almost desperate to attach themselves to someone. This shouldn’t be. Why? Because our contentment is found in the Lord. He is the One satisfying our heart’s desire. He fills all our emotional needs. He is love. He is our purpose. He is our goal. Sometimes it is needful to ask ourselves a few questions.

 Just to see where our hearts honestly are.

Am I content exactly where God has placed me?

Is there anything (or anyone) that seems to always come before my desire for Christ?

Am I patient and happy to wait for His perfect timing, even if it’s much longer than I would have expected?

Is there just as much peace in letting go of my desires as in seeing them fulfilled?

Proverbs 28:26 says, “He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.”

“Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way.” (Proverbs 23:19)

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying before, “follow your heart”. What a dangerous thing to do! Seeing as our hearts are deceitfully wicked above all things. They are not supposed to be followed, or heeded in the least. No, instead, we are actually commanded to guide our hearts. So, while our hearts will often at times feel completely unruly and impossible to deal with, they aren’t. How are we to guide our hearts? By trusting them to Jesus.

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

By trusting our hearts to the Lord, we allow Him to lead them. This often requires continual surrender. But with surrender, comes a blessed peace. The Lord Jesus wants to establish our ways. He wants to lead our hearts. His paths are always the loveliest to follow. He is a good Heavenly Father. He delights to give His children good things. We can trust Him. And no path can be deemed lonely when He is the One traveling it with you.

“He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” (Psalms 40:2)

In Isaiah 55: 8 and 9, we see where the Lord’s thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways, not our ways. They are infinitely higher and so much wiser. Sometimes, it would seem, the Lord has to rescue me from myself. Thinking that I know what is best for me, when in reality, I don’t. Of course, we all think that if we really got what our hearts longed and wished for it would all turn out right in the end. But just as a wise mother lovingly holds back her child from danger, so Christ holds us back from what we don’t understand. We will never see as He sees. And we can never love ourselves as much as He truly loves us. There is just as much love in His “yes” as in His “no”.

I remember one time in my life, a couple of years ago, when I wondered about a certain young man in my life. I found myself attracted to him and wondered if the feeling was mutual. Considering whether he might be the Lord’s will for me or not, I prayed about it. And the Lord gave me John 21:21-22.

“Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me.”

Basically, it is none of your business.  J
What is my path? To follow after Jesus. And the rest is His responsibility. It doesn’t matter who your future husband may or may not be, or where he even is, that is for the Lord to direct. We are to be waiting and keeping our hearts with all purity, with all diligence. The Lord has to be our goal. Not marriage. Not a relationship. Not anything else. Just Him.

“Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.” (v. 27)

And then, we have the command to “turn not” and to “remove thy foot from evil.” Again, it isn’t “evil” to like someone. It isn’t “evil” to want to get married. But it is evil to be thinking or dwelling on anything that doesn’t fit into the verse of Philippians 4:8.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

In removing our foot from evil, we need to be establishing our thoughts.

“Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)

Our thoughts are very important to the Lord. It is easy to excuse them as not really being “that big of a deal”, especially since no one else can actually see them and aren’t necessarily effected by them. But this isn’t actually true. For one thing, Jesus sees all our thoughts. He is the discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) And if for no other reason, we should care that our thoughts are pure because of Him. Proverbs 23:7 tells us “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:” What we think about, says a lot about us. Where our minds continually dwell, says a lot about where our hearts are. And while others may not see your thoughts per se, our thoughts affect our actions, which then affect those around us. It is important where our minds wonder. You are not alone in your little world of imagination. Girls tend to daydream to an unhealthy level. It almost seems to be built into our nature somehow. Like the little girl who always wants to play house. We were made to be homemakers and “nesting” comes, oh, too easily. We think about what our future might look like. Girls are also very relational. And it is not uncommon for girls to often think about their future husbands (or who that might be) and even their future children before ever entering that time of their life. And while it might not necessarily be wicked, it can be dangerous. It can be taken to an unhealthy level and reality can be lost. Our “fantasy”, or even hope of what our futures might be, can become more enjoyable to live than our actual life.

Proverbs 24:9 says, “The thought of foolishness is sin:”

This verse puts an immediate stop to all day dreaming, because that’s exactly what it is. Foolishness. According to Philippians 4:8, it isn’t whatsoever things are true. It isn’t whatsoever things are honest. It is vanity.

If you’ve ever “liked” someone in particular, you already know just how easy it is to think about that person. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, he can be in the back of your thoughts. And while thinking about that person isn’t necessarily a sin itself, and honestly just comes naturally, what we are thinking could be. Are you already mentally planning as if you’d spend your future with him? This isn’t right. This isn’t whatsoever things are just. Are your thoughts always drifting to the romantic side of things? This isn’t whatsoever things are pure; whatsoever things are lovely; whatsoever things are of good report. There are other thoughts along this subject which are more subtle, but equally just as dangerous if not more so. These are the thoughts about this “special someone” that actually are true. Things said or events that actually happened. Such as, maybe the last time your families spent the day together or when you last saw him at church; whatever it might be. Our minds have a way of “replaying” everything. Like, how he looked at you, or even if he looked at you. What was said; how we laughed together. Maybe the things you did. All these “little things” become precious and hidden away in our hearts when we like someone. But my question is: Is it virtuous? Is it praiseworthy? Philippians 4:8 says “…if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” And it is all such thoughts that we must surrender to the Lord. They are not healthy for us to hold so close to our hearts, or to replay in our minds.

II Corinthians 10:5 says, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ:”

Our thoughts must be brought captive to the obedience of Christ. When our minds wonder foolishly or even romantically, we must stop and submit them to the Lord. It hast to be a conscious effort. It is a choice we make. “Casting down imaginations”.  We must cast them down at Jesus’ feet. And when we do, we’ll find that He is always there faithfully waiting to take our thoughts and imaginations. That He has already promised the victory. It is ours to claim at the very moment our hearts looks up towards Him. Ephesians 4:23 says, “And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;” Our minds need to be renewed. And it is by taking them to Jesus that He then forgives and cleanses and renews them again.

“And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts?” (Matthew 9:4)

“The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.” (Psalms 10:4)

Sadly, what could be said of the “wicked” here, could also be said of most Christians. God is not in all his thoughts. And what a difference it would make if He was!

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalms 139:23-24)

In order for the Lord to even be able to help us keep our hearts with diligence, they must first be given to Him. He must have our heart. Our will must be put into neutral. Our hearts cannot be set on anything that isn’t of the Lord. Even with the things that just aren’t His timing yet. We cannot have a froward heart. To stubbornly insist on our own way is heartache.

“He that hath a froward heart findeth no good:” (Proverbs 17:20)

“They that are of a froward heart are abomination to the LORD: but such as are upright in their way are his delight.” (Proverbs 11:20)

In Luke 12, we are encouraged to “take no thought for your life”. I think this is the biggest secret to keeping our hearts with all diligence. Letting God be our everything. When we have let go of our life, our plans, our dreams, our heart’s desires, our future hopes, and our deepest longings; when instead, all else becomes as complete loss compared to Him; when He becomes that one desire of our hearts.

“I’ve been a great deal happier since I have given up thinking about what is easy and pleasant, and being discontented because I couldn’t have my own will. Our life is determined for us; and it makes the mind very free when we give up wishing, and only think of bearing what is laid upon us, and doing what is given us to do.” George Eliot

Keeping our Hearts with Diligence (Part I)

Spiritual Lessons

Keeping our Hearts with Diligence

Part One

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."  (Proverbs 4:23)

I'll be honest. This verse has always discouraged me. I've heard it my whole life growing up- "Keep your heart. Keep your heart. Keep your heart!" I've even told this to other girls younger than me. But what does it mean to "keep your heart" anyways? It always felt like a pretty good saying that was somewhat overused and completely unexplained. But it was Biblical, right? It was most commonly used in reference to boys. Not giving your heart away to some guy you "like" or have a "crush on" when you're 14, that may after all, never be your husband. 

It has also been commonly used as I’ve gotten older, during the years when you are officially “coming of age” and marriage is actually a very real possibility. If you ever show interest in a guy or he shows interest in you, it is one of the first things you hear. “Keep your heart.” It sounds good, I’d like to be able to do that, but how? What does it even mean? What does it look like, practically applied?

I’ve been told that if you don’t keep your heart, you will be giving away pieces of that heart, which can never again be recovered. That you will then, never have a “complete” heart to give someone else. I am honestly not sure this is strictly true, just speaking from experience, but I do know there is a difference between “liking someone” and literally “giving someone your heart”. Some girls think they are “in love” with a guy they’ve hardly even spoken three words to, when really, they are only in love with the idea of being in love. This is called “infatuation”. For those of you who might be worried that because you have liked someone, you’ve ruined any chance of giving yourself completely to your husband, I’d like to say that giving your heart, is actually a choice we make. Just like love is a choice. It is painful, vulnerable, and not something that “accidently happens” without our knowing it. Being attracted to someone isn’t “falling in love with that person”. Also, just because you are interested in a potential possibility, doesn’t mean you are “beyond the point of no return”.

That being said, however, I would also like to bring out the fact that our hearts are extremely weak and vulnerable. We can form dangerous “heart strings” very quickly. We can easily become unhealthily attached to someone. (For more on “heart stings”- please look up Toni’s previous post "HeartStrings".) We do need to be careful. The Lord wouldn’t have commanded us to “keep our hearts with all diligence” if He also didn’t know that out of them are the “issues of life”! Our hearts are also very deceitful. The Lord describes them as such in Jeremiah 17:9- “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

We can’t even know our own hearts. They deceive us. 

But guess who does?

“I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.” (Jeremiah 17:10)

Job understood this truth. He says – “And these things hast thou hid in thine heart: I know that this is with thee.” (Job 10:13)

Just because “giving our hearts away” is a choice, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be careful not to make that choice. And because our hearts are desperately wicked and deceitful, we need to be cautious. Just the simple fact that God told us to “keep” them, actually means that they can be “given away”. So how do we keep our hearts?

Here is something I recently wrote in my diary-

“The heart seems unruly and impossible to keep. But then, why would He give the command to? He would be an unjust God to command something without giving the ability to actually do it. God doesn’t give commands that are unreasonable. Yet, He also tells us that without HIM, we can do nothing. He is involved in the heart’s keeping. He has to be. However, I think there are principles we can live by to help that along. Just like, we can ‘quench the Spirit’, we can quench His working in our hearts.”

Here are some principles which I believe enable us to keep our hearts with all diligence. All of them are taken from the four verses immediately following Proverbs 4:23, where He tells us to “keep our hearts with all diligence”.

 “Put away from thee a forward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.” (v.24)

Firstly, we have our mouths. James has a lot to say about the tongue.

“Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! …For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. … Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? …Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.” (James 3:4-5,7-8,10-11,13)

Where are our words continually dwelling? What are our lips speaking? What are we always talking about? Is it the typical “Who likes who”? Is it always about boys? And romance? Or maybe something even a little more subtle. “I can’t wait to do this or that for my wedding!”? Whatever it might be. Is it wrong to like someone? No. Is it evil to want to get married? Certainly not. Is it wicked to be excited about what you might or might not do for your wedding colors? No, it isn’t. But what we are usually talking about, what we are always dwelling on, says something about where our hearts are. We also need to remember that our mouths also affect our listener. We are not an island to ourselves. Remember how James just talked about a fountain either yielding bitter water or sweet? It is the exact same with our words. We can either be edifying our listener, or we can be corrupting their minds. It could be blessing or cursing. Why won’t we try to use our words to edify? Maybe the next time one of your girl friends wants to talk about the “latest with so and so”, you could casually change the topic. Why not share what’s on our hearts about Christ? He is an endless and beautiful subject matter. Or maybe, we don’t, simply because we wouldn’t have anything to share? I hope not. Or maybe you know someone who is discouraged about their singleness? You just might be able to encourage that heart to stay content in Jesus alone, simply by how you use yours words. A wise man will show forth his works in a good conversation.

“Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.”  (v.25)

Next, we have our eyes. We are told to let them look “right on” and to what is “straight before thee”. But in doing so, we have to honestly ask ourselves a few questions. What is before me? Where are my eyes looking? Who are they looking at?

Hebrews 12:2 says- “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

“But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.” (II Corinthians 3:18)

What we are focused on, is what we become. As we set our faces towards the Lord, we are changed into the same image. I wonder what our faces would look like in comparison to this standard. I wonder what we’d honestly see. It depends completely on what our hearts are truly seeking. What are we looking for? Romance? Marriage? Selfish desires? Fulfillment from our own dreams? 
I hope it’s more. 
Proverbs 23:5 warns us about where we set our eyes.

“Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not?"

If the Lord has told us “no”, then there is a good reason for it. To continue to set our eyes and hearts on something that is not the Lord’s will for us, is not only vain, but can be a hindrance in our walk with the Lord. We have to trust Him with our hearts’ desires. We have to rely on His wisdom. 

He searches the same heart that so easily deceives us.

Proverbs 14:30 says- “A sound heart is the life of the flesh:  but envy the rottenness of the bones.”

What is a sound heart other than a strong confidence and contentment in the Lord? A heart that is set towards following Jesus Christ. Not having a heart that is envious. Not wanting something that doesn’t belong to you. That could also apply to things we just don’t have yet. Are our desires and the focus of our hearts encouraging “life”, or maybe, “rottenness” to our bones? Where we set our eyes bears a big part in how we keep our hearts with all diligence.

I will continue these thoughts very soon in “Keeping our Hearts with Diligence Part II”.

A True Love Story

Spiritual Lessons 

And this is the other side of the story.  This is my friend's husband writing his version of how it all went.  I thought maybe you'd enjoy it as well.  :) 

 A TRUE LOVE STORY

Where to begin? Our love story, for me, started in August of 2000 at a church meeting in Missoula, MT. I remember I was standing in the foyer of the church right after an evening service. I happened to glance over to my left, and a gorgeous blonde caught my eye! I knew she was a visitor, but had no idea from where? This was the first time I had ever seen her. I will never forget the thought in my mind, that maybe she was the one for me to be with someday?! I do remember something telling me that the feeling in my heart and thought of my mind was different this time. I had never experienced this before. I never forgot that moment and tucked it away in my mind for years to come. I was informed by her best friend that I paid for their meal when a group of us went out to eat later that week. Her friend says she could tell, then, that I liked her. I guess she was oblivious to me at the time. I am unable to recollect that moment, but will never forget the first time I saw my future wife.

Fast forward to February of 2001. I and 2 friends of mine decided to take a trip to Lacombe, AB. We needed to get away, and were intrigued by a Pastor who lived there. By this time I knew that my future wife lived in Lacombe, and that she was living with this Pastor and his wife. So, of course, I had in the back of my mind that I hoped I would get to see and, possibly, meet her on our trip. We went to a prayer breakfast on a Saturday morning, and low and behold there she was!!! She greeted us at the door and immediately my heart returned to the feeling I had the first time I saw her! She was very formal, but a bit giddy. She asked who we were staying with and retreated to the back room. I would like to say that we both locked eyes and she was just as interested in me as I was in her, but that was not the case!  :( We seemed to her as just a few more young guys that couldn’t turn her eye. We attended church the next day (Sunday), and I found myself taking quick glances at her, perhaps hoping she was taking glances at me. Unfortunately, once again, there seemed nothing there for her. I tried to say hi after the service, but seemed that I made her nervous or bothersome. I went away from that trip a little disappointed, but was able to joke about it with my friends, that I had been rejected! I was also able to just let it go…. for now…

I lived the next 10 yrs wondering if I would ever be married. Opportunities arose, but I never once felt like it was right for me. I struggled at times if I had missed my opportunity to be married somewhere along the road. I eventually resigned to remain single and live the best way I could. I was now an Assistant Pastor in Helena, Mt. It was the spring of 2010, and I was talking to my best friend, and made the comment; “I wonder if she ever got married”. He did some detective work and found out, to my surprise, that she was still single! This obviously perked my interest again and reignited my heart as before. I planned a trip with a friend for May. I phoned Pastor ahead of time to see if it was ok, and he gave the go ahead to come up. I was a bit nervous and anxious driving up. I had thought of her periodically over the years and sometimes told others of the thoughts in my heart about her. I was taking one last chance. We attended a church service that Sunday, and there she was sitting in the first row! She looked just as beautiful as the first time I saw her! I prayed that God would give me a chance to meet her after the service, and he did. I was now talking to her for the first time ever. It was 10 yrs from the first time I first saw her. We had a great conversation and traded stories of our lives and families. I reminded her of the meeting in August of 2000, but she had little recollection. Oh well, we were finally talking now! We went out for coffee with a group that night which was pleasant. We made small talk, and I could sense that there may be a slight interest on her part, but I didn’t push it. We left with a cordial ‘goodbye’ and a parting smile only to wonder what would come of it. 4 months had passed, and it was now September. I had been invited to an October church meeting that her church was putting on, back in May. I had thought and prayed about her over those 4 months and wondered if it was time to visit again to see if our previous meeting was just that or something to pursue. I shockingly was able to get work off at the church and my part-time job at Costco. I decided to go for it. I knew this was all or nothing! The meeting lasted 5 days. She and I were able to spend some good quality time after the services talking. It became evident over those 5 days that we were both interested! So, on the last night, I was able to get the guts to ask her if she would be interested in continuing to communicate after I would leave. To my joy, she said YES!!! I then received permission from her Pastor/“Dad”. All those years of waiting were finally paying off. I was now 36, and she was 32. Neither of us had been married previously and neither of us had children. A miracle and anomaly to most people! We both sensed that this was what we wanted and that we were going to take it slow and do it right!

She and I agreed to start by writing letters first, which became evident that it was too hard given the length of time waiting for the mail across the border. So we began emailing daily and sometimes nightly filling in all the details of our childhood, and the last 12 yrs. It became apparent that this was a match made in Heaven! I made a trip up to Lacombe again in November. We were able to get to know one another quickly and get comfortable with what we wanted to do with our lives in the future. She then made a trip down to Helena, MT in December over Christmas for 10 days. By now, we had exchanged over 100 emails and a couple of letters. Things had accelerated fast, but comfortably. I now knew it was time to propose. My sister had helped me pick a ring out previously, so I was ready and committed to ‘pop the question’! Christmas day 2010, would be the day. I chose a beautiful, remote place on Canyon Ferry Lake, outside of Helena. I went out earlier that morning and tied a dozen roses to a lone tree on a peninsula that jetted out into the lake. Later on that day I told my wife -to- be that we were going to take some pictures at the lake with my Mom and Sister. She had no idea, and was oblivious to what was going on. But, I had a good idea from previous conversations that she would say ‘Yes’ to marriage. I led her to the tip of the peninsula where the tree and flowers were. She was amazed, but still unaware of my intentions. I then turned to her and said “I’m not finished yet”! She was shocked to say the least, but very happy!!! I bowed the knee and nervously asked the question. She gave an ecstatic….YES! We would spend the next 3 months emailing and talking frequently on the phone. I made visits in January and February to spend some time together. Both our families were made aware of our relationship by now and were very excited for both of us! We decided that a short engagement made sense, and felt comfortable that we knew each other well enough. So we would have the ceremony on March 19^th 2011. We truly are living ‘Happily ever after’!!! 

A Love Story

Spiritual Lessons 

Below is the story of a sweet friend of mine.  It's a beautiful story worth sharing...  She and her husband wouldn't hesitate to tell you that keeping your heart pure and waiting for the right one is worth it.  

Why Waiting Is Worth It

I had just turned 32 years old and unknown to myself, my life was about to change. But before I dive into the exciting story of how our relationship began, I must back up just briefly. I had been nearing my 30’s when I became convinced that God was not going to bring me a husband. As any ordinary young lady, I had always dreamed that I would be married someday and henceforth had spent my years working as a Unit Clerk in a hospital and waited to be married. Going on to further education had come up as an option but I had time and time again refused as I didn’t want to burden my ‘husband’ with debt from my schooling. But as this ‘husband’ did not show up into my life, I realized that if I was going to ‘make it’ on my own, that I would need to go on to further education. This led to a few of my most exciting years in a Psychiatric Nursing Program through Grant MacEwan University. And as it happened, I was just nearing the completion of my schooling when he walks into my life.   

It was May 2010 when Pastor (whom I cal 'Pastor'...though the term encompasses more his role as 'Dad' in my life as I had lived with {Pastor and his wife for 9 years)  told me one evening that this certain young man had called and was going to be visiting at the end of the month.  I was aware of who he was as he had emailed through the church website a few times asking for material from Pastor etc.  And while I had met him way back in August of 2000, I hardly remembered him.  However my good friend, who had accompanied me at that time tells me that she remembered him well and was concinced from back then that he had always liked me.  This did not thrill me as I had been dead set for years that I was not going to marry an American.  (Note from Toni:  This particular lady is Canadian.  :) )   Pastor continued,  "I think he is coming to check you out."  Shocked, I replied,  "To bad for him.  He's American."  The conversation was short, but of course this was not too far from my mind. 
 Sunday, May 30th, 2010 rolled around and sure enough, he was along with a friend.  Determined not to pay attention to him, I mostly stayed out of his line of attention and even when a few girls and I got up to sing that morning I made sure as to not look in his direction, though I was aware of his presence.  Only a handshake and 'hello' were exchanged that morning, however, after the evening service that day, he had asked another man in the church who he could pay for the books that he had bought from the bookshelf.  As Pastor was not there, he was directed to give the money to me.  This ended up in a length conversation.  We exchanged a little history  and he told me what he remembered from our meeting in 2000 and 2002 of which I could remember very little.   Though I had to admit I was shocked at how many details he could remember.  After the first conversation, I went home.  Almost home, I remembered that he had not given me the check and so I returned to church to find him there sitting in a pew listening to some of the young people having a 'music jam session'.  While retrieving the check, he then began to ask me more questions and henceforth ended up having another lengthy conversation.  After the young people finished we joined them and went to coffee and visited some more there.  While the conversations were mostly 'surface', I could feel my heart 'turn' and I didn't know what to make of it.   Prior to him and his friend leaving tat evening, he had mentioned that he had hoped to come up more often that following summer yet.  
Well, after that even , my heart was vulnerable and ready to ensure a possible relationship with him. however fear set in and I could not see how this would work as he is American.  And so, I began to pray fervently, asking God to keep him away if this was not the man that I should perhaps marry.  Seeing as I was the only girl he spoke to that day, I somewhat presumed that there was potentially some interest and so I knew that I would need to keep my eyes focused if he was to pursue.  So, June rolls around and he does not come.  July rolls around and he has still not come.  By this time, I am beginning to relax and believe that God is answering my prayer and keeping him away.  Well, a preacher came through and he preached on not holding our own will and desires higher than God's will and desires.  My mind goes back to this 'possible' situation with 'him'  and I can sense God working in my heart to give up my demands that I was not ever going to marry an American.  Over the course of the rest of that summer and through various events, I could sense God working in my heart to fully surrender my life to God and not try to always control my own life.  
September rolls around and I am doing well.  I and excited about single life and with the annual upcoming October Christian Life Conference, my mind is occupied and settled.  My schooling is now also just 3 months short of being finished and I am ready to start a 'career'.    The week before the church meeting rolls around, Pastor infomrs me that 'he' has written and tells him that he will be here for the meeting.  'OH NO!'.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  Serious!?  I had just settled for what I thought God wanted as a single life?  My heart went into absolute chaos. I was 32 years old but suddenly I felt like a 13 year old wondering if he was coming to pursue a relationship or was he just coming for the meeting.  Halfway desiring to hope that he would and halfway desiring to simply just have a mind at rest, no matter the circumstances.  
My friends still laugh at the whole beginnings as a group of us had gotten together just prior to the meetings and I had expressed to them this whole dilemma in my heart!  A few nights prior to everything happening, Pastor prayed with me and something he prayed changed my heart  rest.  He had said, "God help her to open her heart to love again" and this changed it all for me.  

The following week is almost history after that.   He came that week and was just as handsome as ever along with a tender gentleness of a true gentleman.  We conversed every day that week for hours at a time and it was apparent to my heart that I truly had found my 'match'.  We just fit.  Opposite and yet similar.  We could talk comfortably.  I felt safe and secure in his presence.  And so at the end of the week when he formally asked Pastor (my dad) whether he could pursue further communication with me and whether I would be interested in writing, there was no hesitation.  Our communication began with writing snail mail letters.  But that only lasted a couple of rounds.  The delays across  the border made the mail go far too slowly; hence we began emailing daily and sometimes 2-3 times a day.  He also began calling weekly and we talked about all kinds of serious things in life.  We had determined we were going to talk about things that mattered to us in the way of knowing that we had a mind of unity.  both of us being older we had seen many couples get married on romance alone and then not make it several years down the road.  We did not want to make this same mistake.   And while he was incredibly romantic, sending flowers, compassionate and kind....it was also done with seriousness.  
He also visited monthly except for in December of 2010 when I went to go visit him for 10 days.  It was the greatest time of my life and I knew that I could live with him in the USA.  December 25th, 2010 rolled around and he planned a most romantic proposal.  The morning we spent together with his half sister and biological mother opening presents.  We had a great time.  While he seemed a little anxious to get all of this out of the way, I did not know that anything was up.  I did not think that he would propose until Spring sometime.  He had mentioned that he wanted to take his mom and sister out to Canyon Ferry (where I was staying with an elderly lady) and look around at the lake there.  And lo and behold we get there and they are all in on this proposal.  I got out of the car and began taking pictures of everything around me, enjoying the scenery. And he starts to kind of 'walk off',  So I followed him...well we get up on the knoll of a rock and here is a dozen flowers tied to a tree...I thought he had just been hiss  romantic self and gone out of his way to make my Christmas special and get me more flowers.  But then he began to say, "And that's not all....I talked to  Pastor this morning and he had given me permission to ask you to marry me."  And he got on one knee and proposed a very sweet and romantic engagement.  I had no hesitation.   

And while we have been married since March 19, 2011… I continue to have no hesitation. He is truly my match! I never dreamed it could happen this wonderfully even when I had hoped for marriage in my youth!