A Love Story

Spiritual Lessons 

Below is the story of a sweet friend of mine.  It's a beautiful story worth sharing...  She and her husband wouldn't hesitate to tell you that keeping your heart pure and waiting for the right one is worth it.  

Why Waiting Is Worth It

I had just turned 32 years old and unknown to myself, my life was about to change. But before I dive into the exciting story of how our relationship began, I must back up just briefly. I had been nearing my 30’s when I became convinced that God was not going to bring me a husband. As any ordinary young lady, I had always dreamed that I would be married someday and henceforth had spent my years working as a Unit Clerk in a hospital and waited to be married. Going on to further education had come up as an option but I had time and time again refused as I didn’t want to burden my ‘husband’ with debt from my schooling. But as this ‘husband’ did not show up into my life, I realized that if I was going to ‘make it’ on my own, that I would need to go on to further education. This led to a few of my most exciting years in a Psychiatric Nursing Program through Grant MacEwan University. And as it happened, I was just nearing the completion of my schooling when he walks into my life.   

It was May 2010 when Pastor (whom I cal 'Pastor'...though the term encompasses more his role as 'Dad' in my life as I had lived with {Pastor and his wife for 9 years)  told me one evening that this certain young man had called and was going to be visiting at the end of the month.  I was aware of who he was as he had emailed through the church website a few times asking for material from Pastor etc.  And while I had met him way back in August of 2000, I hardly remembered him.  However my good friend, who had accompanied me at that time tells me that she remembered him well and was concinced from back then that he had always liked me.  This did not thrill me as I had been dead set for years that I was not going to marry an American.  (Note from Toni:  This particular lady is Canadian.  :) )   Pastor continued,  "I think he is coming to check you out."  Shocked, I replied,  "To bad for him.  He's American."  The conversation was short, but of course this was not too far from my mind. 
 Sunday, May 30th, 2010 rolled around and sure enough, he was along with a friend.  Determined not to pay attention to him, I mostly stayed out of his line of attention and even when a few girls and I got up to sing that morning I made sure as to not look in his direction, though I was aware of his presence.  Only a handshake and 'hello' were exchanged that morning, however, after the evening service that day, he had asked another man in the church who he could pay for the books that he had bought from the bookshelf.  As Pastor was not there, he was directed to give the money to me.  This ended up in a length conversation.  We exchanged a little history  and he told me what he remembered from our meeting in 2000 and 2002 of which I could remember very little.   Though I had to admit I was shocked at how many details he could remember.  After the first conversation, I went home.  Almost home, I remembered that he had not given me the check and so I returned to church to find him there sitting in a pew listening to some of the young people having a 'music jam session'.  While retrieving the check, he then began to ask me more questions and henceforth ended up having another lengthy conversation.  After the young people finished we joined them and went to coffee and visited some more there.  While the conversations were mostly 'surface', I could feel my heart 'turn' and I didn't know what to make of it.   Prior to him and his friend leaving tat evening, he had mentioned that he had hoped to come up more often that following summer yet.  
Well, after that even , my heart was vulnerable and ready to ensure a possible relationship with him. however fear set in and I could not see how this would work as he is American.  And so, I began to pray fervently, asking God to keep him away if this was not the man that I should perhaps marry.  Seeing as I was the only girl he spoke to that day, I somewhat presumed that there was potentially some interest and so I knew that I would need to keep my eyes focused if he was to pursue.  So, June rolls around and he does not come.  July rolls around and he has still not come.  By this time, I am beginning to relax and believe that God is answering my prayer and keeping him away.  Well, a preacher came through and he preached on not holding our own will and desires higher than God's will and desires.  My mind goes back to this 'possible' situation with 'him'  and I can sense God working in my heart to give up my demands that I was not ever going to marry an American.  Over the course of the rest of that summer and through various events, I could sense God working in my heart to fully surrender my life to God and not try to always control my own life.  
September rolls around and I am doing well.  I and excited about single life and with the annual upcoming October Christian Life Conference, my mind is occupied and settled.  My schooling is now also just 3 months short of being finished and I am ready to start a 'career'.    The week before the church meeting rolls around, Pastor infomrs me that 'he' has written and tells him that he will be here for the meeting.  'OH NO!'.  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  Serious!?  I had just settled for what I thought God wanted as a single life?  My heart went into absolute chaos. I was 32 years old but suddenly I felt like a 13 year old wondering if he was coming to pursue a relationship or was he just coming for the meeting.  Halfway desiring to hope that he would and halfway desiring to simply just have a mind at rest, no matter the circumstances.  
My friends still laugh at the whole beginnings as a group of us had gotten together just prior to the meetings and I had expressed to them this whole dilemma in my heart!  A few nights prior to everything happening, Pastor prayed with me and something he prayed changed my heart  rest.  He had said, "God help her to open her heart to love again" and this changed it all for me.  

The following week is almost history after that.   He came that week and was just as handsome as ever along with a tender gentleness of a true gentleman.  We conversed every day that week for hours at a time and it was apparent to my heart that I truly had found my 'match'.  We just fit.  Opposite and yet similar.  We could talk comfortably.  I felt safe and secure in his presence.  And so at the end of the week when he formally asked Pastor (my dad) whether he could pursue further communication with me and whether I would be interested in writing, there was no hesitation.  Our communication began with writing snail mail letters.  But that only lasted a couple of rounds.  The delays across  the border made the mail go far too slowly; hence we began emailing daily and sometimes 2-3 times a day.  He also began calling weekly and we talked about all kinds of serious things in life.  We had determined we were going to talk about things that mattered to us in the way of knowing that we had a mind of unity.  both of us being older we had seen many couples get married on romance alone and then not make it several years down the road.  We did not want to make this same mistake.   And while he was incredibly romantic, sending flowers, compassionate and kind....it was also done with seriousness.  
He also visited monthly except for in December of 2010 when I went to go visit him for 10 days.  It was the greatest time of my life and I knew that I could live with him in the USA.  December 25th, 2010 rolled around and he planned a most romantic proposal.  The morning we spent together with his half sister and biological mother opening presents.  We had a great time.  While he seemed a little anxious to get all of this out of the way, I did not know that anything was up.  I did not think that he would propose until Spring sometime.  He had mentioned that he wanted to take his mom and sister out to Canyon Ferry (where I was staying with an elderly lady) and look around at the lake there.  And lo and behold we get there and they are all in on this proposal.  I got out of the car and began taking pictures of everything around me, enjoying the scenery. And he starts to kind of 'walk off',  So I followed him...well we get up on the knoll of a rock and here is a dozen flowers tied to a tree...I thought he had just been hiss  romantic self and gone out of his way to make my Christmas special and get me more flowers.  But then he began to say, "And that's not all....I talked to  Pastor this morning and he had given me permission to ask you to marry me."  And he got on one knee and proposed a very sweet and romantic engagement.  I had no hesitation.   

And while we have been married since March 19, 2011… I continue to have no hesitation. He is truly my match! I never dreamed it could happen this wonderfully even when I had hoped for marriage in my youth!