The weight of heartaches long past
The Bible says in Philippians 3:13 and 14 - “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
Bitterness is deceptive. It comes in many different forms. It can be offenses and hurts, not so easily forgotten. It might be direct anger towards another person. It may be an upset towards an uncomfortable situation. It could even be a subtle choice, to simply not let go of an old heartache or depressing circumstance. I recently asked the Lord to search me. To try me; to see if there be any wicked way in me. To see if I had bitterness in my heart. It is a scary thing to pray, unless you mean to deal seriously with God and those around you. And even still, it can be a painful ripping of the deep roots surrounding your soul. But by His grace, He dealt with me with tender and loving compassion. And He did show me. The inward struggle of a heartache not so easily forgotten. My own bitterness towards a dark circumstance in my life. I hadn't “gotten over it” yet. And although I didn't know it, my failure in “forgetting those things which are behind” was hindering my “reaching forth unto those things which are before”. My past was haunting my present. And my bitterness towards this hard trial now past, was crippling my future. It felt as if there was some kind of hold over who I am now. It became a comfortable harbor of excuses for why I was acting the way I was. Which, is scary. I sought the pity of others, and disregarded anyone who didn't understand. It was a nasty place to be. Yet, it was also a subtle place; for again, I honestly didn't know I was there. Not until the Lord showed me. Trials are only for as season. They do not last forever. They are not suppose to last forever. But I think sometimes, we make them longer than God ever intended them to be, simply because we are bitter towards our trials and refuse to let go of our hurts. Pain becomes more comfortable than healing.
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;”
(II Corinthians 5: 17-18)
When we are saved, we are made new creatures by Christ Jesus. And with this new nature, comes a new power. A power which is able to state that “old things are passed away”. It is a fact. And that “all things become new”. When we are in Christ, this applies to us. And it applies to our bitter state also. We have been given the power through Christ to “[forget] those things which are behind”. We have been promised the victory. We can lay it all down at Jesus' feet and claim His forgiveness and healing. Burdens are still lifted at Calvary.
“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.”
There is no denying that heartaches are bitterly painful. That some wounds go too deep to even emotionally or verbally express. But, even when we cannot explain, and still no other human could begin to understand, God still knows our heartaches, our sorrows. And He is ready to be our solace; ready to heal. Ready to forgive. He is waiting to be our victory. To renew our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. And He is ready to begin yet again, with something new.
“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside very weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12: 1-2)