God's Satisfaction In Singleness

Post by Guest Writer Hannah Herndon on singleness.  Encouraging! 

God's satisfaction 

In Singleness 

...For she was given all to fleshly lust,
And poured forth in sensuall delight,
That all regard of shame she had discust,
And meet respect of honour put to flight:
So shamelesse beauty soone becomes a loathly sight.

Faire Ladies, that to love captived arre,
And chaste desires do nourish in your mind,
Let not her fault your sweet affections marre,
Ne blot the bounty of all womankind;
'Mongst thousands good one wanton Dame to find:
Emongst the Roses grow some wicked weeds;
For this was not to love, but lust inclind;
For love does alwayes bring forth bounteous deeds,
And in each gentle hart desire of honour breeds.

The Faerie Queene, Edmund Spenser, 1590

The difference between love and lust, and the avoidance of lust, is something that can consume a girl's time and energy to a great extent. No follower of Christ wants to imitate the fleshly lust that the world is consumed with, and that flaunts itself on magazine covers and in romance novels. We recoil in horror at the thought of being this lady, described by Spenser:

Nought so of love this looser Dame did skill,
But as a coale to kindle fleshly flame,
Giving the bridle to her wanton will,
And treading under foote her honest name:
Such love is hate, and such desire is shame.

But when you have real needs, it can be hard not to think on that "someone". It can make you spend all day constantly thinking, "am I overstepping the bounds in my thoughts?" I don't know how many other girls have this problem, but I certainly have. It isn't healthy, to walk between doubt and desire, fear of sinning and a need that feels unmet.

 "God's love isn't a substitute for a man's, but it is better. It doesn't satisfy in the same way as a husband would, but it is more than enough to satisfy the soul."

I think I have found the key to resolving that kind of thinking, and I wanted to share it here. It doesn't honor God to walk between fear of "overstepping bounds" and the real desires that we all have. Trying to just "repress" those feelings isn't the answer. Neither is telling yourself that you just must go without until God sees fit for you to marry (this can lead to a secret grudge against God, among other things.) Nor is it telling yourself that God can fulfill those needs, and trying to find an outlet for those feelings in thinking about Him. (Although it isn't far from the answer, it misses closely... like just barely missing someone in a game of blind-man's-bluff.)

Yesterday I was doing dishes, in the afternoon... feeling a bit lonely, and having this "feelings struggle" for most of the day. I knew it wasn't healthy. I knew that God had something better for me to do than think on love and lust. I just turned and started thinking about God. I thought of all the good things He's done for me, as His child... given me an eternal hope, an inheritance in heaven that will never fade, and the loving family around me... and just that quickly, the thoughts of the "someone" faded away as I looked on the Lord's face. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits" (Psalm 103). I realized what had just happened, and turned in amazement to see the thoughts of the longed-for person fading away, in my mind.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace."

The thing was, I didn't try to visualize God as a substitute for the love of a man. I've done that many times, and it never worked. I realized that the love of God and the love of a man are two different things. God's love isn't a substitute for a man's, but it is better. It doesn't satisfy in the same way as a husband would, but it is more than enough to satisfy the soul. I realized that it is quite possible to live and be whole without the love of a man, by experience. It doesn't mean that a man's love isn't good or wonderful. It's just an extra thing, optional in the course of life. Not necessary. I felt that I could live quite happily just serving God. Marriage will be wonderful, if I get to have it. But I don't need it.

Singleness -- Gift or a Curse?

Spiritual Lessons 

Singleness -- 

Gift or a Curse? 

I know some of us get sick of hearing that singleness is a “gift”.


Many times women echo similar thoughts of my own heart.
Women crave to be held. To experience the ecstatic energy of being thought about and wanted and singular in someone's mind. We see a young family in the restaurant enjoying their children and we yearn for it.


We are tired of providing for ourselves. We want to come behind a man and enable him to be the godly man God envisions him to be. We want to make a difference. We desire the security and protection of our man. Our heart yearns and it cannot be fulfilled. We are sometimes lonely.



How is this a gift?
Say it wasn't a gift. Say it was a curse. What then?

There have been many times in my life I found myself in less than desirable circumstances. Not so very long ago I was curled up on my bed in the fetal position begging God to kill me. I was in so much pain. I faced the possibility of lymphoma. The grueling two year journey towards health. I've experienced people maligning me. I've had good friends misunderstand me. I've fought demons. I've had some of the dearest people in my life break my heart. I've questioned God's mercy. And I've lived with depression.


Were these times in my life a gift or a curse?


These things made me fall on my face desperate for a living God. These circumstances stretched my faith until the breaking point, only to grow it stronger. They molded me. They taught me the sovereignty of God. These experiences led me on a journey of repentance. They taught me thankfulness for my relationships. These “evil” things showed me a better glimpse through that dark glass of who God really is. I no longer took certain things for granted. They are the best things that ever happened to me.


I am convinced that if God cursed me with singleness my response we be almost the same as if I found it to be a gift. I would rejoice. I would thank Him. Even though He slay me – I will still trust Him. And I am also certain that the “evil” parts of being single are the things that grow us. With the right heart, singleness can be the best thing that ever happened to us. It can be that thing that makes us fall on our face desperate for the living God. It can teach us who He really is and bring us on a journey of repentance. And it can give us a thankful heart.


But just as all my other experiences could have led me to be angry or bitter or discontent – so can singlehood. If we find ourselves angry with women who are content in their singlehood we need to take a look at our heart and repent of our selfish behavior. It is selfish. Because we then go around trying to dissuade others' “delusions” of the grandeur of singleness. Plainly, that's called discouragement. Repent ladies. We aren't supposed to be discouraging our sisters.

I understand some women are silly. Some women flaunt their singleness. Some women may even try to be proud of their status to soothe their desires. But, claiming singlehood as a gift does not negate the hardships and the hurts that come with singlehood. Saying singleness is good does not mean we think marriage is bad or under-par. Embracing our singlhood is not a cop-out because we were refused the desire of our heart. And finding joy in our singleness doesn't mean we are starting a girl's club with the years of singlehood as a our badges.


Singleness is a stage of life that can be beautiful. If it is a gift, which I believe it is, rejoice and embrace it. Learn from it. Use it. Give Him glory.

And if you cannot be convinced that it is a gift, rejoice in your curse. Learn from it. Use it. Give Him glory.

All His Biddings are Joy

Spiritual Lessons

Post written by guest writer Rebecca Robinson.  A beautiful description on the joy of singleness!

All His Biddings are Joys

Singleness is not one of life's trials; it's not a cross to be borne. In it there is no suffering, no evil, no grief. It is not like when the man you've been married to for 20 years abandons you and your children to scurry into dark corners with sloppy wanton women. It's not like suddenly losing your child and being forced to bury them into the cold earth, with the brilliance of their life still ringing in your unbelieving retinas like a light snuffed out. 

I don't mean to minimize that truth, "each heart knows it's own bitterness," and I certainly have struggled all my life with feelings of resentment and self loathing in relation to being alone. But that's quite my point- I spent YEARS behaving in my heart and mind as though I were without something I deserved; as though I were suffering a loss. It caused me to slink into bad relationships several times, out of thirst and lack of trust. What a waste of precious time!

Elisabeth Elliot wrote, "If you are single today, the portion assigned to you for today is singleness. It is God’s gift. Singleness ought not to be viewed as a problem, nor marriage as a right. God in his wisdom and love grants either as a gift."

To be a single person who sulks about being alone and is desperate to get married is like being a child desperate to grow up because he wants to stay up as late as he feels like it and be able to buy chocolate milk whenever he wants, having no idea in his smallness just exactly what he's asking for. You'll grow up one day and realize that with all those privileges come an entire world of battle and responsibility you never imagined.

I recently realized the very sweet gift of being single. It is like sipping a cup of hot coffee early in the morning as the sky blinks it's half closed sunshining eye at you from between pink clouds. It is beautiful because it is brief, fleeting, quiet. Just you. Just the Holy Spirit. Stillness.
This is what that single season should be like. If you are constantly caterwauling about being single, or even worse, constantly reassuring everyone around you how VERY content you are (thou doth protest too much, methinks), you have become like the man who rejects the good he is given because it is not the good he had expected. You have misunderstood marriage and you have misplaced Christ as the center.

My life's ambition is to be a mother and wife- it's a beautiful adventure I long for the way some long to travel the world someday. But I am not a mother or a wife, not yet, and it is His bidding that makes it so.

All His biddings are joys.

Dear Single Ladies – From a Newlywed

Dearest Sisters,

I wrote to some of you a little while ago – three and a half weeks after my wedding day! Now, a month and a half into married life, my feelings are the same – or perhaps even more intensified! Yes, I'm very in love! But that's not the big thing I wanted to share with you. I actually wanted to say –

BEING SINGLE IS AWESOME!

I love being married – seriously, don't get me wrong! But just as seriously, my hubby and I keep planning things and then thinking, 'You know what? We need more good Christian singles to help us fulfill this plan!'

We actually really need you. I love being a woman and thinking about homemaking and babies and all that stuff, but honestly, God is still so much more exciting than anything to do with marriage. I wish I had used my single time ever more effectively – and this is me talking – a motivated young woman married to a highly flexible, godly, pull-out-all-stops-to-get-it-done kind of guy. Sure, the world and the church needs married believers. But oh boy, we need you singles too! Please, dear single ladies, don't be distracted from our great calling by the idea of getting married. It's awesome! But bombers weren't the only aircraft to fight a war. We need you free-flying Spitfires as well.

So single ladies – please. Help us. Motivate us. Challenge us. Make sure we don't sink into lovey-dovey hermitage with our beloveds, or get distracted from the Greates Love by the love we have. Ask us questions – there really is a king of mind-gift you received in marriage, and we'd love to share our stories for your benefit! Keep us on our toes. Pray for us. Work with us!

And Christ will return. We will all be together. Matrimony will be but a memory, but love will be real and together we will rejoice in unending bliss, praising our Father in Heaven!

Blessings from your sister,

Georgia 

The Heart of the Matter (Part One)

Spiritual Lessons

The Heart of the Matter
Part One

“But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20: 24)

“The heart of the matter”- basically, the root issue or core problem. I would like to try and express to you, reader, something that the Lord once dealt with me before in my life. Something which burdened my own soul, and which I believe still holds its grasp around most single Christian young girls today- the desire for marriage. 

Marriage is a beautiful thing. It is something I think any girl would naturally desire. It is perfectly normal and even good. To be a wife and a mother is a high and godly calling and one we should actually be preparing ourselves for. To want marriage, to anticipate and hope for it, to prepare yourself for it, is both a righteous and pure thing. God made marriage. He designed it. In fact, He created us for it. He made Eve for Adam. She was to be his “helpmeet”. That was her calling. So, before I give the wrong impression, I’d like to say that I am not in any way against marriage. I desire to be married someday just like the next girl. I have little hopes and dreams of my wedding day too. But, I would like to address the slump most Christian girls find themselves in when their hopes for getting married are not met.

I’m always hearing young women talk about their struggle with being single, as if it were the greatest possible trial in life. Or girls who complain about the strange in between of girlhood and marriage as a frustrating time to just “bear through”. They seem to view this “stage” of life as a great sorrow to patiently endure until hopefully “Prince Charming” arrives on the scene. Such girls seem to be discontent, impatient, idle, and frivolous or even desperate. They then view marriage as their rescue from a boring, miserable existence and marriage becomes the answer to their current problems and their entire focus and purpose for living altogether. This shouldn’t be.

First off, Marriage should be considered a gift, not a goal.

Each season of life is precious and has something very special to offer. The past can be remembered and the future can be hoped for, but it is the present that we live now. You cannot go back in time and open the birthday presents you once received on your 4th birthday. And you might say, well, obviously. That is silly. But in the exact same way, you cannot go forward in time and open the presents you might receive (by the grace of God!) on your 80th birthday! And again, you might be thinking, how silly. But isn't this honestly what girls do? They jump ahead in the years of their life, maybe not to their 80th birthday, but instead to the day that they might open their wedding presents. Living in the "imagination of tomorrow", is the same thing. You are throwing away the present in exchange for something that isn't even real. That's scary. We cannot wait to do the things that take up our  life on a daily basis. For example, we can't wake up one morning and say, "Oh, I'll just live Tuesday tomorrow, instead of today". It doesn't work, for obvious reasons. We aren’t holding our breath. But then why do girls do this when it comes to waiting for marriage? We do not wait for a time, which we are never actually guaranteed, in order to live for the Lord. At least, I hope you wouldn’t! You give Him your present, because that is all you have. Jesus talks about how no man knows what the future holds. We are only given today. He says to “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” (Matthew 6:34)

Proverbs 27:1 says- “Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.”

And in James 4:14-15 it says- “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.”

“For what is your life?” Good question. And He gives a very sobering answer. “A vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” When we choose to wait in order to live our life to the fullest that God intended it to be lived, whether that is for some reason, something, or more specifically, someone, we are choosing not to live our life altogether. We are only given today, to live unto the Lord. Why waste it dreaming of what you intend to do tomorrow? That is foolishness. Marriage isn’t our goal. Christ should be our goal. He is our reason for living. He should be the reason and driving force behind all that we do. Each season of life is a gift from God. Whether that is your childhood, your single years, or your married years. It is a special time that He not only knows about, but actually planned for, and that He wants to use in some special way. To waste that time, because it isn't what you would have necessarily chosen for yourself, is actually being a bad steward of what the Master has given us. 

In Matthew 25, we are given the parable of a lord testing his servants. He travelled to a far country and left his three servants delivered with his goods.

 “And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.”

Here we see how this lord was certainly fair. He didn’t give to any of these three servants what they weren’t able to do, but according to their ability. He didn’t expect the servant which only had 2 talents, to do exactly what the servant with 5 talents was able to do. But he did expect them to utilize what they were each given.

“After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.” (Matthew 25:15-28)

This servant was rebuked for being slothful and hiding away what he was entrusted with to utilize and gain from. And while this parable is speaking of talents, I believe it can also apply to our time. Our single years could be compared in the same sort of way. God knows what we are each able to handle. Some young women are entrusted with more years in their singlehood than others. Like the servant who was given 5 talents as opposed to the servant who was only given 1. He is a fair and faithful Master, and doesn’t expect something that He doesn’t also give us the ability to do. But, I think many Christian young girls are guilty of the same fault that this lord found in his servant. Maybe not so much out of fear, but certainly from neglect, we waste our talent (time) that we have been entrusted with, that our Master seeks to use. Maybe that problem for some is that they are comparing themselves to another one of our Lord’s servants? If I was only like “so and so” or was able to do “such and such”, I would be more content and joyful or useful with my time as a single person. This is a dangerous attitude to have. Where is our trust in what the Master has specifically chosen for you to do?

Our single years can be years filled with amazing opportunities that may never come again, if we would only accept them as such and be good stewards with what our Lord has entrusted us with. 

Secondly, it is not our right to demand anything of the Lord. 

I Corinthians 6:19-20 says- “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.”

Who do we really belong to? “Ye are not your own”. We have been bought with a price. We belong to Christ. And while we are called God’s sons, we are also called His servants. In I Corinthians 7:22-23 it says, “For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.”

He is LORD. He is our Master. He is the one who made you. And He has the right to demand whatsoever He will. Matthew 10:24 says how “The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord.”

If Christians would not only understand this truth, but actually apply it to their daily lives, how different their testimony would be! I think we have fallen short, way short, of what Christians are really called to. Romans 12 says how it is only our “reasonable service” to present our bodies as a living sacrifice to Him.

Marriage is something that Jesus may, or may not, choose to give us. It is a gift and gifts have to be given. Otherwise, it is then no longer a real gift. Marriage isn’t something we have a right to demand for ourselves or to take for ourselves. Jesus has the right to say no and we must accept that.

I heard it said recently, that you are either devising your own way or God is ordering your steps. This is very true. There is no middle road. We are either living for Christ or we are living for ourselves. We either desire to please Him with all that we do, or we are seeking our own selfish pleasure. He is leading the way, or I am running off on my own fancy. Do we care to see His desires fulfilled in us? Or just ours? What is His will for me? What are His thoughts on a given subject? Are you willing to let Him keep your heart completely for Him? Or is that same heart given out in several different directions? And we all know this to be true. This isn’t something we haven’t heard before. But which one are you?

 “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matthew 6:24)

Just as we have no right to demand for ourselves, marriage, we also have no right to demand our own forms of happiness and pleasure in this life altogether. Not if our lives are truly God’s.

“For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.” (Colossians 3:3-4)

Romans 15:3 says, “For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.”

If the Son of God came not to please Himself, who do we think we are to demand our own pleasures and happiness? To think that we are here to fulfill our own little dreams is almost absurd. Christ submitted Himself to the Father. His words were the Father’s words. And His works were the Father’s works. He came to do the Father’s will. How much more should we?

“He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.” (I John 2:6)

To be continued...

What to do as a Single?

Spiritual Lessons 

Faithfulness in Singleness 

“...Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in dues season? Blessed is that servant, whom his Lord shall find so doing.
And that servant, which knew his Lords will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. ...For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.” Luke 12



The Conversation~

So often it is easy to lose focus and many young ladies start to grow restless. What am I supposed to be doing during my single years?  Is there more than cleaning the house and baking and helping out with siblings?  Am I supposed to find a ministry?  Should I get a job?  What about college?

Just the other day I was chatting with a mature sixteen year old young woman who shared with me that she had come to the realization that marriage is not a goal, but a stage of life. A sweet gift. She marveled at how often she had read in books describing “singleness” as being a sort of time to endure until you've reached the finishing line (marriage). Instead, she hoped to see it as a gift, and a stage of time to prepare and even enjoy what was already given.
I smiled at the truths this girl shared with me. She is right! And how lovely and even exciting to see a young person relish her life and not try to rush though it. Some people look at Singleness as a gauntlet. People write “survival” books for girls in an effort to encourage them, but instead leave the reader feeling like living a pure life as a single is a long haul until life begins (at marriage.).

A second young lady in her early teens recently shared with me that she was afraid of letting her years before marriage go to waste.  She desired more than what she felt was a stereotype Christian young lady's singlehood.  She wanted to go beyond -- strive for something more.  But what?

And yet another young woman in her early twenties discussed with me how hard it is to explain to people how content she is at home and the guilt she feels when others wonder at her seemingly non-productive life.  Should she do more than helping at home?

The first young lady told me that she wanted to prepare for her future life, but also desired to  be used right now...and even prepare and learn for things beyond marriage. She didn't want her singlehood to just be a bootcamp before marriage. But she had so many passions and hobbies and interests. What should she pursue? What interests were God-given?

The Challenge ~

Recently, after reading Luke 12 I decided I was going to apply it practically for myself. And when I did, I realized it was the perfect answer to anyone's questions on what they should be pursuing.
How am I to be a faithful and wise steward? I realized I had to know what I had been given.
Luke, under the inspiration of God, reminds us what we are not given stewardship of. They can all be classed in two categories:

our wants and our needs

Honestly it makes sense that Luke tells us to take heed of covetousness and reminds us that life does not consist in the abundance of what we possess. (Our wants).
But it amazes me that he also commands that we take no thought of what we so often consider our life – our food, our clothes and our means. (Our needs).

“Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. The life is more than meat and the body is more than raiment. ...Seek ye not what ye shall drink, neither be y of doubtful mind. ...your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things...” Luke 12:

This posed some questions for me. What should my life consist of? Am I a faithful and wise steward? What should I be seeking?

Obviously, food, raiment, and anything else I needed the Father knows, and He desires to provide those things for me. So what is my responsibility?

What I had been given ~

My time,

My talents,

My positions,
My money.

I have been given so much, and I know much is to be required of me. Unlike the sinful servant in the parable that buries his talent, I hope to invest my talents and give Him all the glory.  So I took out my notebook and wrote them down.

I wrote out the time He has give me (what my day looked like) –

My schedule.

I wrote my talents –

A love and ability for Sign Language.

Writing.

Singing.

A love for health and helping people.

I wrote out my positions (and known future positions) –

Daughter

Sister

Friend

Wife

Had I been diligent in these areas? Were they things Jesus wanted me to pursue? If so, how much? What had I been called to for certain? Was I preparing for them? 

We cannot allow the unknown to disable us from doing what we do know. Our faithfulness in the every day things is the bridge to greater and bigger responsibilities down the road.

“A faithful man shall abound with blessings...” Proverbs 28:20

Sometimes we don't even realize what we have been given. One of the most over-looked gifts is our family. What do our relationships look like? Can we relate to them? Can we communicate with them? Can we share our true feelings with them? Are we able to build them up? If not, there is a wall, a partition a blockage. Our horizontal relationships will hinder our vertical relationship.

Are we financially faithful? Are we faithful with our home? Are we faithful with our skills and talents? Are we faithful in our chores? Are we faithful in our church? Are we faithful with our time? Are we faithful in our walk with the Lord?

“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 15:58

Are we faithful in keeping our heart clear and our ears open before the Lord?

“A single sin, however apparently trifling, however hidden in some obscure corner of our consciousness, – a sin which we do not intend to renounce, – it is enough to render real prayer impracticable. A course of action not wholly upright and honourable, feelings not entirely kind and loving, habits not spotlessly chaste and temperate, – any of these are impassable obstacles. If we know of a kind act which we might, but do not intend, to perform, – if we be aware that our moral health requires the abandonment of some pleasure which yet we do not intend to abandon, here is cause enough for the loss of all spiritual power.” (Cobbe 82)

Are we faithful in obedience?

Sometimes when we are in this period of waiting and praying for God's will, we find a need and snatch it up and call it “our ministry”, before we know if the Lord would have us do it. I was amazed by what Helen Roseveare had to say on the subject in her book called “Living Holiness”

“...Christian service, if it is to be “holy and acceptable” to God, must flow from obedience, and not simply come from a desire to meet a need, however great that need may be.” (Roseveare, 155, italics added)

She goes on to say that just because we appear to have the exact abilities needed to fulfill a particular task that that is not sufficient evidence that we are necessarily God's choice for that task. Also, even if all our circumstances fit perfectly, this also is not sure proof that it is God's chosen path. And just because there is a need does not mean that we are the ones to fulfill that need.

I began to actively pray that Jesus would prune out any activities that were not given to me from Him and to only, and whole-heatily pursue those I knew He had given to me. And I was amazed at how faithful He was to make it clear. There were a few innocent things He needed to cut away at. Of course it was hard....but He has rewarded me by giving me clear direction in other areas.

We must be willing to step up to the call of the Lord. To be faithful in obedience to what we know He expects of us, and also to His call to us personally. To the first young lady I advised that she write down the things she has been given.  Your passions are normally a God-given desire for a purpose.  Ask the Lord if He wants you to pursue them.  There just might be a reason you've been given this passion.  We must remain faithful in what He has given.

Which leads to the second young lady.  She too would benefit from this small practice of writing down what she has been given.  Is she faithful?  And when Jesus shows what He wants of her, will she willingly obey?  When it comes, it may not be what we expected. It may be something small or mundane. Are we willing to obey in that calling? 

Which then reminds me of the third young woman.  If you know the Lord has called you to serve at home then you do not have to feel ashamed that you are not serving in other areas.  You don't have to tell people you are still searching.  A ministry that is not our ministry is capable of destroying us. We must be sure it is what He has called us to. Here we have patiently waited for His call, and when it comes are we prepared to meet it? We may awake to His words “Arise and go to Nineveh...”   Your home may be your Nineveh.

Are we faithful in obedience?