This has been on my mind for a while. I was recently chatting with a godly friend of mine, and she mentioned that she felt that it was impossible to wholly guard our hearts as young women. Our hearts will just leap out and hand themselves over....even without mental consent.
It made me wonder – Is it possible to guard our hearts? Then I really thought on it....what is our heart? What's our responsibility with our heart?
We know that Jesus wants us to seek and love him with all of our heart.
I know that He asks for specific parts of me....my time, my thoughts, my meditations....and those are really parts of who I am. I think perhaps they are parts of my “heart”.
Obviously the “heart” in this sense can't be the organ that pumps our blood. But there is a connection. Our physical heart is vitally important to our existence. So is our spiritual heart.
I decided to see what the Lord had to say about the heart. It was amazing!
What is our heart?
The Lord commands us to keep our heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:25). We know that as humans we see the outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7) but God looks on the heart. We are told to do the will of God from the heart. (Eph. 6:6) And that as the heart thinketh, so are we. (Proverbs 23:7, Phil. 4:7)
So in summary, we know that the heart is obviously who we really are. It is our life. It's our personality – the real us, in all sincerity, no facades; us without anything else.
What is our Hearts Purpose?
Our hearts are capable of and created to
follow (1 Kings 14:8)
sing (Job 29:13, Eph. 5:19 See post on Life's Music)
rejoice (Ps. 19:8)
trust (Ps. 28:7)
wish (Ps. 73:7)
discern (Eccl. 8:5)
know (Jer. 24:7, Jer. 30:21)
believe (Luke 24:25, Rom. 10:10)
Love (Luke 10:27)
Our hearts are created to follow after Someone. To sing of Someone. To rejoice in Someone. To trust in Someone. To desire after Someone. To know Someone. To believe in Someone. To love Someone. It's our built in nature.
Marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship with us. And so, Jesus has allowed us to not only give our hearts to Him, but also, in a way, to our future spouse. The Bible says that our hearts shall be toward our husbands and he will trust his heart to us. (Proverbs 31:11).
This is what we are created to do. The Lord first and always, and later our future spouse.
What Isn't Our Heart's Purpose...
Unfortunately, we are either ignorant or forgetful, and are so overwhelmed by our hard-wired need to give our hearts away, we find something or someone else to give our heart to.
I really believe we can give our hearts in entirety. Brides who have saved their hearts for their husband place their entire heart into the care of their groom. But we can also give pieces of our hearts away. I call it sewing heart-strings. It's a perfect picture of what happens when we “give a piece” of our heart away.
When we praise a man, we've sewn a heart-string. When we choose to trust a man, we've sewn another heart-string. When we follow a man's leading, we sew a heart-string. When we desire after a man, rejoice in his accomplishments, make the effort to learn who he is (his heart), we're sewing a heart-string. When we believe in him, there's another heart-string. When we choose to love someone – heart-string.
Sewing heart-strings is enjoyable. It's because we are meant to. We were created to sew heart-strings. But it's when we compromise that we start to see problems form by sewing heart-strings.
What is Compromise? Compromise means to adjust, to agree, to settle, to allow, to concede.
When we steer away from the original purpose of heart sewing, we have compromised. We've adjusted our course, agreed to settle for less, conceded or yielded up something that was to be guarded.
I have several girlfriends right now that are in relationships with men they are unwilling to marry. They would never marry them because it would be compromise. A settling for less. And yet, it is obvious to everyone around them that they and their “friend” are an item. That they have mutual feelings for each other. That they are in a relationship, sewing heart-strings. THIS is compromise, and the end is destruction.
The other day I was looking in Google Images for a picture to go with a blog post, when I scrolled down the page and my eye caught a photograph. It was the silhouette of a young man kneeling-- praying. My heart jumped. It suddenly occurred to me that my man might actually be praying for me. I pray for him all the time. Even though I don't know who he is.
Has it ever occurred to you that Christ has chosen and is molding your man to be? Have you ever thought that maybe this godly man prays for you every day? Have you ever considered that there may be a man who guards his heart for you? Not only his body, but the purity of his emotions and thoughts?
I keep my heart for my man. I pray for him. I save my emotions and thoughts for him. Why is it considered inconceivable to believe that my man does the same for me?
Who do you sew heart-strings to? I think it is wholesome and even biblical that daughters sew heart-strings to their fathers. If our fathers are our guardians of our hearts, then it makes sense that they must know the hearts they are protecting. There are even a few girls in my life the Lord has allowed me to trust my heart with and share. I don't even believe it is healthy to sew heart strings with every relationship. Not everyone can be trusted with something so vulnerable, so precious. And of course there's Jesus.
He is asking for your heart. He wants you separate from the World...you are in the World, not part of it. As much as the World is not our playground, people are not our playthings. We aren't created to sew heart strings to many hearts.
Some of us have sewn heart-strings to men other than our fathers. You are, in every sense of the word, “attached” to “him”. And yet, God has commanded us to keep our hearts with diligence. To save our hearts. To sew heart-strings to any other man is compromise.
The man you won't let go of is in actuality -- God's responsibility. Has it ever occurred to you that your refusal to obey Christ and entrust that man to Him is hindering that man from a relationship with the Lord? Will he ever choose to yield his life to the God that you won't even obey? You have decided either compromise or Jesus Christ. No decision is a decision.
Of course heart strings will bleed when cut. But He is faithful to come and heal your heart. I know you miss Him. You miss His sweet fellowship. And He hurts for you. He knows you are sewing your heart to someone that will only tear away at your heart seams. He is calling you away to Himself. You can't sew your heart to Him AND to the wolf dressed as "Prince Charming". They are both calling you down separate paths....whoever your heart is sewn to...that's who you will follow. He will love you without any selfish motivation. He is a master at binding and healing. He is a balm. Given the opportunity the Spirit will live your life. He just waits for you to choose Him over your compromise.
He will take care of as much as we will give him. Why not give Him your whole heart? You say you have.... but you've given part of your heart to a man you aren't even willing to marry. To a man who doesn't even know your Father. How silly to be offended when Jesus only blesses and fulfills half of your life....when you've only given Him half.
I have given Him everything. Because He has been given control of my love life I know that He will give His best in His perfect timing. If you manage your love life, why be surprised if you get someone less than His best?
I've purposed in my heart not to compromise. I'll allow Jesus to guide my love life. Someday the Lord will have me meet my man..
It may be a hard journey, but waiting for God's best will lead to only one thing – God's best.
For more posts on similar subjects please read:
Is there a difference between infatuation and giving away your heart? How do we practically keep our heart?
Are our fathers really our head? What is woman's purpose? Why should woman stay at home? Are woman weak? Can women be adventurous and brave?
Our hearts are at stake! This post addresses the temptation to compromise our standard of purity. Honest and to the point about relationships with guys.
Temptations will come. Whether they're something or someone. This post is on how to face them, what to do with them, how to feel about them and how to find encouragement in them.
Is there really "the one" out there for us?
It's easy to grow restless and wonder if there's more to singlehood. This post encourages single woman what "to do" in these years.
Is it silly to hope and pray for a "Prince Charming"? Do such men exist?
Courtship: is it biblical, or is it flawed?