When He Says No
Our Father's role.
Our fathers are our head. (1 Corinthians 11:3). He is our earthly leader. He is our provider. (1 Timothy 5:8). He is our protector, (Eph. 5:25-29).
Our role as Daughter.
We are to submit to our head. (1 Timothy 2:12-13). We are fashioned to be led. (helpmeet verse) It is an honor to be provided for. (Eph 6:1) And it is proof of worth to be protected. (Eph. 5:29).
When he asks us to stop doing something innocent.
There have been multiple times in my life where I went to my father for counsel, or my dad came to me, and he advised me to quit something I deemed innocent. How easy it is to stop a habit or hobby if proved destructive, but what about those harmless ones? What if we don't agree with his reasons?
I have found comfort in this – God works through my authorities. It wasn't an accident that I am my father's daughter. He purposefully gave me my father as my authority. If my dad is seeking God's will, and he is striving to be the head, provider and protector God desires him to be, I can be confident that Jesus supplies him with the wisdom to know how to lead, provide and protect me.
But what if Dad is not seeking His will? What if his decision to take away something from me is based on a mere whim? I can then know that every trial that comes my way must first be approved by God. I know this because He says that He will only allow things into our life that we can bear or escape. Jesus didn't “protect” me from my dad's decision and so it was allowed by God and as long as I am walking in His way I can not go wrong by obeying. In fact I believe that God will work out something beautiful. Just as Joseph was not protected by his brothers wrath, and God allowed those evil circumstances and worked out miracles and help for Joseph, his family, and a nation. God trusted Joseph with that trial. He knew that Joseph would remain faithful and loving and a willing channel.
Can He trust us? We are unaware of the miracles God wants to work in us, for us, and for others. We might be amazed at what He desires to do through us for our family, our church, our friends, even maybe our nation. Will we be a willing channel, or will we have a temper tantrum?
When he asks us to stop a good thing.
“Daddy asked me not to. At all. Oh the little sword in my heart. He was hesitant to say anything, knowing that he is continually asking things away from me. But he doesn't seem to know half the hurt. He doesn't realize he is taking away one of the dearest things my soul craves. He doesn't realize the hurt of separation. How it's like being set in a corner and told to “stay”. Like being punished though innocent. How hurtful when others can go but I must stay behind. It's become a major thread in my life, a main color in the theme and snip! It's cut away, just like that.
But Jesus allowed him to. But I feel like sometimes my heart soars and I'm then knocked right out of the sky with a 2x4. It seems unfair. Why does God constantly rip away at me in this? No ties, must be different, separate, apart, No you can't, can't, can't. And yet, would I dare to ask Him to keep His hands off? To stop limiting me? To stop controlling my life? Never! And why? Because He always knows best. I only bleed for my own good and usually for someone elses good. Every bleeding was necessary for me to grow. They often save me from some folly. I'm always thankful afterward. It always reveals something.
How I would have hated if I had gotten my own way. I had no idea at the time how my decision to obey my dad would impact multiple people. How it would change my life. How it would encourage, convict and inspire friend's lives. How it would teach me invaluable lessons. Never for a moment would I choose for these times to be taken away or changed. If I had to live them over I would make the same choice to obey again. And in a way, I am living it over. Same decision, different circumstance.
I will obey my father. Because this is His will. I will choose Jesus. No matter how much it hurts. I will obey, even in humble obedience and with a sweet and quiet spirit. I'll wait for the joy. He knows what He is doing. He has trusted me with this. I'll gladly bear anything for Him. Maybe this is preparation for something else in my future. I'll obey.”
God is not limited or hindered by our authorities. He can move them as rivers of water. The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it withersoever he will. Proverbs 21:1 .
He works all things together for good to those that love Him. (Romans 8).
He works all things together for good to those that love Him. (Romans 8).
What if our father asks us to stop a good ministry? Won't others suffer for it? Certainly not. God doesn't need you to minister. He chooses human vessels to do His work, but He doesn't need you personally in that area to minister to those souls. That specific work is not reliant on you. Even when He does use you in that work it is not reliant on you. It's His power and His timing and you're His channel. If your God-given authority has taken you out of that ministry, God will raise up another channel in which to achieve His purpose. When a door is closed Jesus always opens up another one. He will show you which good works He wants to work through you. And that may include shutting some doors in order to open others.
What if our father tells us we cannot pursue a good relationship? God is bigger than your authority's no. If it is in Jesus' will for you to someday enter into a relationship with someone, He will make a way and will mold your authorities hearts towards His will in His perfect timing.
If you are under an authority you are morally obligated to obey him. We are to obey them that have rule over us and submit ourselves for they watch over our souls and will give account. (Hebrews 13:17). Jesus will reward your obedience. I believe, that as a good heavenly Father, He would even reward you for your unnecessary obedience. He loves a humble heart.
When is it okay to disobey?
God is our final authority. Not man. If an authority commands us to directly disobey God, or commands us not to do something that God specifically commanded us to do, we have the moral obligation to obey God over man. (Acts 5:9).
But we must be careful! God has given us the authorities we have in our life and it is no small offense to disobey them. Rebellion in the Bible is compared to witchcraft. (1 Samuel). We must know what God has specifically called us to do, (and what we are not to do). That way when man challenges it, we can know the difference between God's commandments and our own desires or imagined duties.
Jesus tells us to go out into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. A command. But what if our father asked that we not pass out tracts? Could we disobey? Surely not, because there are many ways to witness and give the gospel. If our father told us we may never tell any soul of Jesus or share the gospel, then proper disobedience would most likely be in order.
Many times in scripture we see God's children under authorities who had no relationship with God. What we see every time is these men or woman being faithful to their earthly authorities, serving them with respect. Think of Daniel, Joseph, and David. It wasn't until their authorities asked them to disobey God that they humbly refused obedience.
In godly humility and respect and in much prayer and carefulness should we ever disobey. I have seen it done the right way – it can be done. And God is in it and rewards them. And I've seen it done incorrectly, and there was only sorrow and pain and evilness as a result.
Our father is our God given authority. God works through our authorities. We don't have to fear because God is in control, and we can know for certain when we are to obey and when God expects otherwise. When our fathers tell us "no" we can be certain that Jesus is working in our life and that our shut door only means He plans to open another one.