Modest Swimwear Ideas!

Health and Beauty

Modest Swimwear Ideas

So I was looking for some modest, feminine swimwear for this year.  These are my finds thus far!  Thought I'd share!

Peaceful Single Girl 

  



Dainty Jewels 

Fresh Modesty

No Coffee Vanilla Latte

Health/Beauty

Just recently shared this recipe on my blog Simply Real & Raw.  It's a quick and yummy beverage that's perfect for cool early mornings.  

No Coffee Vanilla Latte 

Original recipe by Dave Asprey, the Bulletproof Diet p. 254 (Stage 1 of SCD)

2 cups hot water

Up to 2 Tablespoons grass-fed unsalted butter

1 teaspoon vanilla powder

1-2 Tablespoons coconut oil

Stevia to taste

Add all ingredients to a blender and blend until you have a creamy drink with a nice layer of foam on top.  

Free Ways to Health

Health/Beauty 

Free Ways to Health 

Most everyone who knows me, knows that I enjoy studying, pursuing, researching, practicing, and even lecturing on the subject of health.  In the past year I've talked to many people who desire to maintain a healthy lifestyle, but bemoan the fact that being healthy is not only hard, but expensive.

I thought I would share a few inexpensive (not-so-tedious) ways toward a healthier lifestyle.  These are things I implement in my habits and find them helpful, if not essential.

Exercise

Habitual exercise is not only helpful with maintaining a healthy weight, but it is an overall boost to your day.  Walking, stretching, sit ups are all free ways to health!

Drinking more water

How much water do we really need?  Water is an essential compoent to our makeup.  It makes up approximatly 60 % of our body weight. The Institute of Medicine dtermined an adaquate intake for men is roughly 13 cups.  For woman about 9 cups daily.  With additional exercise you will want to drink more water.  Twelve oz. for every thirty minutes according to some.  Some excellent ways to drink enough water for those of us who find it challenging are:

-- Drink two cups of water with every meal
-- Keeping a water container with you when you're in town
-- Adding essential oils or drinking sparkling water with meals  

Substituting White Sugar

White processed sugar is not only "not good for you", but it's also really bad for you.  For a more detailed post please read Sugar. Some natural substitutes for sugar would be:  Raw honey, maple syrup, Rapadura, Stevia, date sugar, blackstrap molasses, malted grain syrups, sorghum syrups, and naturally sweetened jam.


Eliminating Refined Starches 

I couldn't stress enough how essential this is to one's overall health. 
Refined carbohydrates in the gut can stimulate an overgrowth of candida albicans. Candida is a natural fungi that breaks down “dead” foods. With a diet that includes an over-consumption of dead foods, (like sugar and refined carbohydrates), candida multiply uncontrollably. Heavily yeasted foods can also encourage an unhealthy multiplication of candida. The yeasts will actually change form, attach and grow into the intestine, causing holes where undigested foods and toxins can enter the bloodstream. These toxins also produce candida and trigger allergic reactions.  For more on this topic please read my post: Is a Gluten-Free Diet Healthy?

Eliminating Bad Oils

Today, many health experts say that reducing fats in the diet is essential for losing weight. It is true that fats have more than twice as many calories as carbohydrates.

But it is carbohydrates such as sugar and starches that create the most weight gain. Though Fats have more calories than starches, fats satisfy hunger four to five times as much as carbohydrates. Fats are essential to our health. Fats are our storage of energy. They help protein do it's job and also start chemical reactions that contribute to our immunity, reproduction and our metabolism.  Interestingly, fats help the body to absorb fat soluble vitamins such as vitamin A, D, E and K. Our brains cannot work without fat. Obesity could be curbed easily by cutting back on grains, pastries, starches and sugar which, if not burned right away, store up as weight. Good Fats are not the culprit.  For more on fats and oils please read my post:  Healthy Fats?

Writing

Express your way to health! I've realized this fact in my own health journey -- my mental state actually does play a huge part in the success (or lack thereof) in my health.  How I view myself or my family-life status, or circumstances, really is important.  When I am able to sit and "observe" these things through writing, I find a peace and security.  An actual therapy.  Once while experiencing awful pain I wrote a poem.  I found real physical relief while writing.  My emotions, once analyzed and expressed, made my pain easier to endure and from then on I began the habit of expression.  It has benefited me throughout my entire health journey.

Good Sleep

Going to bed at a decent hour and getting up early has been a life saver for me at times.  Sleep needs vary with age and health, but the recommended average is 7 hours a night.  For more info you can go to the Sleep Foundation's website.  Yep, there's such a thing!  sleepfoundation.org


Ideas 


DIY Body Wash Recipe 



















Visit Simply Real & Raw!



Whole New Mom's Healthy Hairspray



Happy Food Healthy Life




DoTerra's Healthy Spritzer

A Toxic Cup of Tea

Health and Beauty

A Toxic Cup of Tea

To me, a cup of tea is like a cup of comfort. I love tea. Come rain or shine, I'm always up for a hot cup of tea. Tea has also been known to have several good health benefits as well. I recently read a very interesting article on the subject of tea, and more specifically, how deceitfully toxic your cup may be without your even knowing it.

For instance, look at that cup of tea. Inviting isn’t it? It just looks so delicious and perfectly harmless. But is it? Looks can be deceiving. Please read on and you’ll see what I mean. 

Plastic and Cancerous Compounds in Tea Bags—A Surprising Source of Potential Toxins (By Dr. Mercola)

“I’ve long advocated drinking tea in lieu of coffee, but the downside of modern food technology is again rearing its ugly head and causing brand new health concerns over this otherwise healthful brew.

A recent article in The Atlantic raises questions about the safety of plastic tea bags, some of which have fancy pyramid shapes, designed to allow the tea leaves to unfurl during infusion.

Chances are you’ve never even given the tea bag a second thought. But indeed, some of the newer tea bags are made with a variety of plastics; some are nylon, some are made of viscose rayon, and others are made of thermoplastic, PVC or polypropylene.

Anyone aware of the dangers of plastic chemicals leaching out of plastic containers and bottles is likely to be concerned about drinking tea steeped through heated plastic.

The other bad news is that paper tea bags may be just as bad, or worse, than the plastic ones because many of them are treated with epichlorohydrin, a compound mainly used in the production of epoxy resins.

Considered a potential carcinogen by the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), epichlorohydrin is also used as a pesticide. Besides making its way into tea bags, it can also be found in coffee filters, water filters, and sausage casings.

When epichlorohydrin comes in contact with water, it hydrolyzes to 3-MCPD, which has been shown to cause cancer in animals. It’s also been implicated in infertility (it has a spermatoxic effect in male rats) and suppressed immune function.

This chemical is already a well-known “process contaminant” associated with modern food production.

Do Plastic Tea Bags Pose a Health Concern?

As you probably know, chemicals in plastic containers and bottles have been found to leach into food and drink, thereby posing a number of health hazards.

According to the featured article:

“Could plastic tea bags also be bad for our health? They are most commonly made from food grade nylon or polyethylene terephthalate (PET), which are two of the safest plastics on the scale of harmful leaching potential. Both have very high melting points, which offer some assurance to consumers, as one would think the melting point of plastic is the temperature at which one would need to worry about accidentally eating it. There is another temperature point for plastics, though, that we may need to worry about, called the 'glass transition' temperature (Tg). That is the temperature at which the molecule in certain materials such as polymers begin to break down. As a rule, the Tg of a material is always lower than the melting point.”

Water boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit (100 degrees Celsius). In the case of PET the glass transition point (Tg) is about 169 degrees, and the breakdown point of nylon is even lower than PET.

“If the question is, 'As the polymer goes through that transition state, is it easier for something to leach out?' 'the answer is yes,' said Dr. Ray Fernando, professor and director of polymers and coatings at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo,”  The Atlantic states.

So while these plastics are generally considered among the safest in terms of leaching potential, the molecules in these plastic tea bags may still in fact break down and leach out when steeped in boiling water—which is the recommended way to brew a good cup of tea.

Paper Tea Bags May Be Just as Bad, or Worse….

The now defunct Dexter Corporation was the initial owner on the patent of a method for treating both tea bags and coffee filters with latex (plastic), to aid in preventing tears that allow the tea leaves/coffee grounds to leak. This invention “saturates and completely impregnates” the entire web material. Therein lies one of the problems with paper tea bags as they are frequently treated with epichlorohydrin, which hydrolyzes to the carcinogen 3-MCPD when contact with water occurs.

Dow Chemical Co is one of the largest producers of epichlorohydrin. According to safety literature from Dow, it's a very dangerous chemical that requires using extra precautions when handling. Granted, that doesn’t automatically render it dangerous in the final product, but it can still be a cause for concern, particularly as it can turn into a carcinogen when water is added. There are many unanswered questions with respect to the potential hazards of using this chemical in products specifically designed to be used with boiling water…

A good way to protect yourself and your family in this area is to purchase your tea from manufacturers who can certify that their tea bags do not contain this compound. In a 2009 article, Kristie Leong, MD also claims to have done her own inquiries and that Bigelow Tea Company does not use the chemical in their bags.

Your best option would be to opt for loose tea. This does take longer, but it can be well worth the wait.

Of Your Healthiest Beverage Choices

While some tea bags—whether plastic or paper processed with epichlorohydrin—may pose a potential hazard, please don’t let that deter you from drinking tea altogether. Although I still believe pure water should make up the majority of your daily fluid intake, high-quality tea has numerous health benefits to offer. Among them is growing evidence that the polyphenols in tea, which include EGCG (epigallocatechin gallate) and many others, can be protective against cancer. Beyond this, the beneficial properties in tea have been known to:

·        Neutralize the effects to your body of harmful fats and oils

·        Inhibit bacteria and viruses

·        Improve digestion

·        Protect against oxidation in your brain and liver

·        Help promote healthy gums

Drinking tea has also been linked to:

·        Improved mental alertness and slowing of brain-cell degeneration

·        Reduced blood pressure

·        Protection again type 2 diabetes

·        Lower blood cholesterol and triglyceride levels

·        Lower risk of breast, colon, lung, ovarian and prostate cancers

·        Reduced risk of heart attack and stroke

Of course, there are some general ground rules to follow when selecting tea of any kind, and those are that it should preferably be:

·        Organic (otherwise tea may be heavily sprayed with pesticides)

·        Grown in a pristine environment (tea is known to accumulate fluoride, heavy metals and other toxins from soil and water, so a clean growing environment is essential to producing a pure, high-quality tea)"

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/04/24/tea-bags.aspx

Thai Chicken Meatballs

Recipes

Thai Chicken Meat Balls 

If you have SIBO (small intestine bacterial overgrowth) you know how hard it can be to find yummy "legal" foods.  I recently found Samantha B. Johnson and love some of her suggestions!  These meatballs are fabulous!  If you are Sulfur sensitive you won't want to do the wrap or dipping sauce, but the meatball is still yum by itself.  Try coconut oil instead!  The meal itself is Gluten Free as well as SIBO legal!  Enjoy.  

Please visit my new blog simplyrealandraw.wordpress.com to view more healthy recipe ideas.  

Serves 10 (Original Recipe by Sibo Diet Recipes)

INGREDIENTS

• Meat Balls:
• ¾ lb Chicken breast ground
• ½ cup almond flour
• 1 egg
• 1 tbsp Fish Sauce
• ½ tbsp Lime juice
• 1 tbsp coconut aminos
• ¼ cup minced Basil
• ⅛ cup Mint
• ¼ cup Cilantro
• Pinch red pepper flakes
• For Cooking:
• Garlic infused sesame oil

• Wrap ingredients:
• Red cabbage outer leaves
• 1 Carrot
• Cilantro

Dipping Sauce:

• • 2 tsp Fish Sauce
  • 2 tsp Lime juice
  • 2 tsp coconut aminos
  • 2 tsp garlic infused sesame oil

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Add all meatball ingredients into a bowl and mix well with a long spoon
2. Heat skillet to med-high and add 2 tbsp garlic infused sesame oil
3. Form chicken into golf size balls and add to pre-warmed skillet
4. Let meat ball brown on the one side then flip and let brown on the other side flattening them a little bit once you have flipped them
5. Serve in a cabbage leaf with shredded carrots and cilantro. Don’t forget to try the dipping sauce!

Silly Scribbles/ An Open Door with Confidence

Silly Scribbles
#3

~ Or Life as Toni ~

Just recently I started a little series of writings that I titled “Silly Scribbles” or “Life as Toni”.  I began posting them on a private writing club that I joined.  I received such positive feedback I decided to be be brave and share with my Maid Arise readers.  

So often the writer in me throbs and insists, but my current work in progress is strictly grammatical at this point and my creative juices feel cramped and unjustly squelched. So I have decided to allow these juices passage and wait to see what comes of it. I decided to share my experiences with you. Sometimes my life can be quite humorous to the point of disbelief which I have come to accept as normal.... or sometimes I learn new things about myself or little lessons God teaches through the inevitable we've fondly labeled “life”. I hope that these shared stories and bearings of the soul are somehow a blessing, or in the least, a few minutes of entertainment.

An Open Door with Confidence

***

I froze mid step and stopped breathing. Yes, there it was again, the distant rumble of a vehicle. Fear rushed over me like a thousand biting needle points and my heartbeat raced away with my reason. I couldn't stand there just gripping my pathetic little pepper spray and wait for it. Springing like a deer I fled into the dense tree line that followed our dirt road. Crashing through brush and anything that stood in my way I ran to a little indent in the earth under a large tree and stopped to listen once more, like hunted prey. The forest stood silent except for my heavy breathing. The rain ladened pine slowly dripped on my face. I was shaking. And I felt like an idiot – no one was coming. It was all my imagination.

***

I had taken every rebuke. The just and unjust. I was told I was inefficient. Told I lacked confidence. Told I was inept. I was lectured, ridiculed, and belittled. Every day I cried out to the Lord for peace and joy and comfort. It would come, but only to be swept away every time I went to work. And now she stood there, her blue eyes piercing into my soul, knowing she had just offered the ultimatum. Would I consent to her conditions or not? If I did, I would be making a huge sacrifice, and disobeying my authorities. She knew that. But then to refuse meant I would lose my job, and worse, a friend. I had to decide, but fear pierced my heart and hung like a led weight.

***

These are paragraphs of real incidents of my life. Snippets that describe and define me. I guess you could say I have lived in insecurity for a long time. Something taught me by my experiences. And yet insecurity isn't a cause, but a result. Actually, I haven't lived with insecurity, but have lived without confidence. Without confidence I am left insecure and exposed for fear.

Before any negative experiences happened I already was a timid person. Nothing my parents ever said or did has given me any right to believe that I was less than anyone else. But for some reason I have grown up thinking that I was just below average. And if anyone thought otherwise it was because, somehow or other, I had fooled them. They really didn't know me. If they had seen me struggle over that math problem. Or had seen how long it took me to master the concept in piano. Or watched over my shoulder while I wrote in illegible cursive. The very same math problem my little brother could figure out in a cinch. Or the piano concept that my brother (who didn't take lessons) could conquer effortlessly. Or the same cursive alphabet that my sibling received compliments from my Grandmother for. I knew I could kind of keep up, and for the most part, if no-one watched too closely, I'd kind of mesh in the crowd and my inadequacy would be overlooked.

I tucked that mindset under my arm and set off to accomplish life. And in life I was hunted down and accused and rejected. Unfortunately I gave into my fear. I believed them. Every new door of opportunity was now opened with anxiety. Every expectation of me was something I dreaded messing up. Every employer was someone to be feared. It climaxed after losing my job as caregiver. My little boy I had so dutifully and faithfully guarded was taken away from me as a punishment for something that wasn't my fault. But I was told it was my fault.

After this I would have nightmares. Sometimes they would seem quite unrelated, but looking back I realize it was rejection and fear eating away at me. I lived without confidence. Until a few days ago.

Losing my job happened last Autumn. So my healing has probably been in little steps since then. But it was just a few days ago that I embraced who Jesus has created me to be. I can't even convey to you the simple radiant beauty in this freedom. I have refused to hold onto other's judgments of myself. Jesus gave me Isaiah 30:15 “In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength...” I claimed it. And applied it practically.

In little day to day problems I tried it. I decided to look at my problem confidently, cheerfully, quietly. And it melted away. I could think clearly and the negative emotion disappeared.

So I tried it in “big” problems. This Monday was my first official day of work. I had gone in last week to get acquainted with the overall process of the secretarial motions of Aspen Wellspring (a natural Health clinic). Every time my employer showed me something or spoke to me gently I was overwhelmed with relief. She wasn't upset with me. She didn't find me inefficient.

Now it was my official day. It started off with several extra feet of snow. After an hour and a half of shoveling out the car to no avail, my brother offered to drive me to town in the beat-up truck. The one at the end of our long quarter mile unplowed drive way. And the one without fuel I might add. So after trudging to the pick up we find that the road is hardly navigable. Our neighbor with the plow is doing her best, but as she passes us she leaves behind her a daunting trail with two narrow ruts. Half way down the mountain we get stuck. We had left 45 minutes earlier than we had to, but it took us at least 30 minutes to get unstuck. Normally this would have gotten me quite anxious. What would my boss say? I was sure to be late. But instead I calmly, quietly took my problem with confidence. I knew the Lord knew, and I would do my best with what He allowed.

That's when we ran out of gas. Yep. Three and a half miles from town. Right in the middle of the one lane trail. So Chris pushed the back while I pushed the front and steered. As soon as it would get going down the hill, I would jump in the seat and slam the door shut and Chris would jump in the bed. It would pick up speed for a little ways and then stop. We did this a little ways until we ran out of hill. After that, it wouldn't budge. So down the icy mountain we jogged to town. Normally this would have been my limit. I would be overcome with negative emotions and drained. But I was actually laughing. It was raining, our shoes were soaked and Chris had hurt his knee. He looked over at me as I gingerly jogged alongside him in the ice and he reassuringly declared, “You know, if you fall down on this ice I'm going to laugh my head off!” Huttoesque humor at it's best. When everything falls apart you either laugh or cry. And for the first time in a long time... I was laughing. Confidence.

Since then I've been faced with multiple circumstances that should have left me quaking. But every time there He is, holding my hand and with quietness and confidence I find my strength.

After applying it to my daily lifestyle I finally took my great emotional insecurity by the horns and faced it. What caused me to fear and lack confidence? Some of it stemmed from being chased down by men not so long ago. That really had shaken me and left me afraid to jog or even use public restrooms. But I had conquered this fear with some basic training. It only haunted me now and then.

But I stopped to think when I had started having nightmares and insecurities and being afraid of what others thought. And I pinpointed it's climax. It was when I lost my job last year. It hurt to lose my little boy, but the heaping of untrue perceptions on my head was something I couldn't cope with. It drained me and squeezed my “comfort zone” into a small sphere. I was told I was socially awkward and lacked capability and now everything looked complex and I felt inadequate in everything.

I have to pause to say that I don't believe this was my employers intention. I don't think she lay awake at night planning my emotional destruction. But she allowed her flesh to dictate her attitude and tongue and took it out on the closest defenseless person around. And that happened to be me. Nothing personal. :) But it was my choice to hold onto it. My choice to allow it to dictate my dreams and security and relationships and actions. She was right in one thing: I lacked confidence.

How silly to hold onto other people's garbage! And I have found the key to dumping it! In quietness and confidence I find the strength to cheerfully let go. It's not even taking one day at a time but each new emotion, which can be moment by moment.

My dad just recently left for North Dakota to work a 30 day shift, with 10 days off. I can't even explain how this shakes my world upside down. But this time I tried Jesus' promise. I quietly accepted it, and confidently embraced it. It works! I don't dread anything anymore. Life's problems are God-given circumstances that I can quietly accept and confidently embrace.

This life-long struggle has held me back from blossoming into the person Jesus has wanted me (made me) to be. No Father desires His child to cower and tremble in insecurities. It had gotten out of control. I started feeling inadequate in the things I've previously conquered, not just in new things. Now I can open every door of opportunity wide and confidently step in with a smile on my face.

Thinking highly of yourself can be taken to unhealthy extremes, but it is just as detrimental to think that extremely low of yourself. It's life altering, emotionally and physically. You can probably think of people you know who live like this. I wish I could tell them how beautiful and strong and comforting confidence is. True confidence. And this is found in the Vine. In the all-powerful One who calls me Beloved. In Him is true confidence. He makes it possible to quietly accept anything because anything can be accepted if you believe your life is orchestrated by a Lover who looks to your best interest. With that knowledge tucked under your arm you can be sure to take on Life with confidence.

For the first time in over a year I prayed for my “x” employer. And for my sweet boy. Up until now my insecurity was a sore bereavement on my soul. I even lacked the confidence to talk much about him. But now I can think about him and talk about him, and pray for him and it doesn't hurt. No guilt or fear is associated with him anymore. He is my dear baby again.

I now can shut that door, quietly with peace. It was slammed in my face, but I had never found closure. Now it's done and I'm faced with other doors. I've grabbed the knob. I'm going to swing wide and jump in. Who knows what lays before me? But with Jesus I'm going in with confidence.


Silly Scribble#4 "Starless"

Silly Scribbles/ A Chain of Difference

 Spiritual Lessons/ Health and Beauty

Silly Scribbles
#2

~ Or Life as Toni ~

Just recently I started a little series of writings that I titled “Silly Scribbles” or “Life as Toni”.  I began posting them on a private writing club that I joined.  I received such positive feedback I decided to be be brave and share with my Maid Arise readers.  

So often the writer in me throbs and insists, but my current work in progress is strictly grammatical at this point and my creative juices feel cramped and unjustly squelched. So I have decided to allow these juices passage and wait to see what comes of it. I decided to share my experiences with you. Sometimes my life can be quite humorous to the point of disbelief which I have come to accept as normal.... or sometimes I learn new things about myself or little lessons God teaches through the inevitable we've fondly labeled “life”. I hope that these shared stories and bearings of the soul are somehow a blessing, or in the least, a few minutes of entertainment.

The Chain of Difference

“Good Morning ladies, what kind of beverage can I start you out with?”

Normally I would have asked for coffee, but I hadn't had even a sip of coffee in over four months.

I smiled up at the waitress confidently. “Tea please”

I was almost sure the waitress looked a little surprised but she quickly turned to my new friend across from me – “And you?”

“The same, please.”

I had only recently met Bethany, a sweet Christian young woman who I had decided to try to get to know better. The Lord has specifically put her on my heart that week which had prompted me to ask the day before if she would like to spend her lunch hour together. Bethany was delighted, but decided that breakfast would be even better and invited me out for the next day.

What she didn't know was that I went home slightly anxious after accepting her invitation. I had planned to just bring my own lunch and spend her lunch hour with her, but “going out” led me to quite the conundrum. I can only eat five foods. What was I going to eat at a Diner? Bringing my own breakfast was out of the question. But when I thought of what “normal” people eat for breakfast I felt defeated. Bacon or sausage...nope. Can't have pork. Eggs, french toast, pancakes, waffles, fruit....nope, nope and nope. I couldn't even “get away” with eating a little bit. Any of those foods would nearly kill me. And so, there I was, sitting in a Diner, with a lovely young woman who had graciously invited me to breakfast, without the ability to eat any breakfast kind of food. This is Toni... the girl who eats chicken legs and carrot juice for breakfast.

After receiving our tea we chit chatted about our families and our recent activities. I sweetened my tea with stevia from my purse and Bethany didn't seem to think anything of it. I relaxed a little. What made me so nervous? Bethany wasn't going to “un-friend” me just because I am different. But that was it – I hated sticking out. I hated being different. Even as a child I remember going through great pains to meld. I always feared that the things I didn't understand were obvious to everyone but me, and would go along, totally in the dark, too afraid to ask any questions. Or how the kids in private school bought their lunches, but mine were made at home, and this bothered me. My brother was always different than everyone else, but seemed to revel in it. Chris didn't care that he thought differently or didn't like what everyone else did, or that his only friend in first grade was the little fat girl everyone disliked. But I cared. I wanted people to like me. I have always desired for approval. I dread the idea of someone, anyone, being upset with me.

“Alright, so what can I get for you girls this morning?”

I had already scanned the menu. Nothing. They even served oatmeal, but I couldn't eat that either.

I looked up at Bethany and found her expectantly waiting for me to go first.

I looked back down at the menu and decided.

“I would like a hamburger, please”.

I couldn't really blame the waitress for looking at me the way she did – it was eight 'o clock in the morning.

“Okay....would you like anything on the side....like hashbrowns or the fruit dish?”

“No thank you....just a hamburger....without the bun please.”

She was writing on her little note pad when she did a double-take. “No bun?”

“Yes, please....” I looked down at the menu to see what came on the burger and took in a deep breath before adding – “and no ketchup or mustard, or onion or cheese...” I took one more look at the Hog's Flat Angus Burger description. “...or pickle.”

I looked back up to see the waitress with pen held above her pad, her eyes with a blank expression, just staring. I didn't dare look at Bethany.

“You mean....” she finally said, “you want a hamburger for breakfast...?”

I nodded.

“...with no ketchup, no onion, no cheese and no pickle?”

“Yes please.”

She looked at me incredulously. She was a bigger woman, with her hair pulled up too tight, and a brusque voice that seemed to carry across the diner.

“Ooookaay. And what about you?” She turned to Bethany.

I looked up at Bethany to meet her amused face. She was smiling at me, but not only with amusement but almost admiration. “The same please.”

I was surprised. “Beth, you don't have to get the same as me....”

She cut me short and laughed and then looked up at the waitress with a confidence that I realized I had used with the waitress, even if I hadn't felt it. “A hamburger please”.

And so our breakfast was a success and I learned not only how to order breakfast in a Diner on an elimination diet, but also that real friends can enjoy eating hamburgers at eight o' clock A.M. :)

***

It amuses me really that in general, people seem to strive for difference. As if they seek individuality in it. While all my life I've yearned to be normal. I've always been a slow learner. Also being a Christian woman in this day and age makes me stand out. And now I'm the girl with only squash, meat and carrots on her “Can eat” list.

Who would have guessed that seeing everyone's hands take a sandwich off a platter would make me feel lonely? Or when everyone says “Hey, let's go get an icecream!” Or to sit at the table and see that every plate matches, everything on the dishes looks and smells the same until you come to my seat. Not only am I alone in my difference, but alone in a crowd. Like a jagged puzzle piece that is pronounced by the fact everyone else matches, but me. Not only bereaved but different.

And yet, being different has two sides. It is definitely hard to be different and pointed out. But it has become my new norm, and I have found most people, waitresses discluded, are quite accepting of my difference. The other side is to be forgotten.

Sometimes others presume I don't join in because it's my preference. They have no concept of the invisible chains that hold me back. Difference is no longer a mark that defines me, but a barrier that separates. Difference has become a norm in my life, but others can forget. My difference isn't their constant companion, but mine; it's easy for them to overlook, but it's become my life.

And yet the chain of difference has been entrusted to me. For a reason. Why do I care if no-one knows what sacrifices I must make in order to live my life? They too may have secret sacrifices that hold them back from something I take for granted in my own life. I do not need people to relate in order for me to live life to the fullest. It would be nice to be understood, but their ignorance is not a hindrance, and it certainly is not a show of disinterest in me as a person.

How lovely to be given a life that Jesus has charted exclusively for me. What if it includes difference? With this difference comes Himself as my companion. And not for some of the journey, but all of it. I don't need any one else. He knows the weight of difference. He knows the loneliness. He sees the invisible chains, for He allowed them to be hung about my neck. For my good. They teach me dependence, need, love, empathy. These chains are also a link to others souls who bear similar ones. And I would never have been able to understand had I not had this freedom of normality taken from me.

What liberates me from my chain is not escaping it's weight but the attitude in which I wear it. My chain can become wings of sympathy, and my captivity a prayer for others. The mark of difference is nothing to be despised. I have never had anything else prepare my soul for crucifixion as well as my chain of difference.

Different? Yes, but I have come to accept Difference as a blessing instead of a barrier. A direct link to the very One I need. I have found my chain of difference a gold one.


For more on "chains"click here.