A Virtuous Young Woman

Spiritual Lesson

A Virtuous Young Woman

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price if far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10)

I just recently read Proverbs 31. We are all familiar with this chapter as being the chapter of what a virtuous woman must look like. I’ve heard it typically used in reference to married women. It will most likely be mentioned on “Mother’s Day”, as in, this is what a godly wife or mother should be. Which is true, especially since there are several references to this Proverbs 31 woman being both a wife and a mother; but, this chapter isn’t just for married women. This was also King Lemuel’s counsel to his son, in choosing a bride. These were character traits he admonished his son to look for in a young lady. The principles of Proverbs 31 apply to all women. Whether single, engaged, married, or even widowed. In this post, I would like to apply them to single young woman. Girls who, while desiring to someday apply them practically towards both their future husbands and children, can also apply them in their daily lives right now.

We do not have to wait until we are married to be virtuous women for the Lord.

There is a lot to be learned from Proverbs 31, and many things, which the Lord will most likely be teaching me for the rest of my life. But it begins now. And while I may not be able to comment on everything addressed in this chapter, I would like to share just a few thoughts with some of the things I recently observed. 

 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:11-12)

Firstly, I see trust. She is a trustworthy person. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her”. She is someone he can trust. She is faithful to him, not only as a wife, but also as a friend. She isn’t running off to tell her girlfriends (or her mother) everything about their relationship. She is committed to him. He is able to trust her with his heart. It can be very hard sometimes to allow yourself to be vulnerable and to trust your heart with someone; let alone if that person has or is continually betraying that trust. She is accepting of him. I think this is important, because it is nearly impossible to “safely trust” someone who doesn’t really love and accept you for who you are. And I don’t necessarily mean a tolerance for sin, but grace towards a sinner. (We are all sinners saved by God’s grace.) 

Question: Are you trustworthy?

The habits we form, the faults which we do not change, will follow us for the rest of our lives. Walking down the aisle on your wedding day doesn’t magically warp you into the “perfect helpmeet” you’ve always desired to be.

Can the people in your life right now trust you? Are you always eager to share the latest about “so and so”? Do you gossip? Is there wisdom in your words? There is nothing quite so blessed and liberating as a trusty friend. Someone you can be yourself with, because no matter what, they’re going to love you. Someone you can bear your soul to, because they care. Someone who you can confidently give all of your heart to, because you know you are able to trust them fully. Such a friend is priceless. And maybe you can think of just such a person. But are you that kind of person? Are you that kind of friend? Are you that daughter? Or maybe that sister?

“She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.” (Proverbs 31:13)

“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27)

Then I see that she is industrious. She isn’t lazy or idle, but is seeking opportunities to bless her house. Sometimes as young girls, the idea of building up a “future house” sounds much more appealing than building up the one you are currently in. We might think that we'll definitely put effort into our "future house" once we are married; but my question is, do you do that now, with your father's house? Proverbs 14:1 says- “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” And while this does apply to your “future house”(marriage) too, it also applies to your current house. If you are a wise woman, you will be building up, not tarring down, not idling away your time.

The Bible says that we are to do "all things as unto the Lord". If this were truly our hearts intent, it simply would not matter where you were doing this. Whether that is at home, on the job, at church, or maybe in some other form of ministry. We do not have to wait, and we should not wait, until we are married with our own house and husband to be building up the people around us.

As a single daughter at home, the Lord has given me many opportunities to “build up my home” where I am. Whether that is cleaning the house, doing dishes, making dinner, encouraging my dad, helping my mom, tackling the laundry pile, or even simply having a thankful, joyful spirit; we do not have to wait until we are “running our own house” to be a blessing. No, actually, it is when you are helping at home right now that you learn how to be a helpmeet for the future. And truly, learning to joyfully accept the mundane tasks and duties of everyday life is a very important, challenging lesson of itself.

Learning to walk in the spirit among our daily responsibilities is where the rubber meets the road. Life isn’t always exciting. And marriage won’t automatically make the drudgery of work glamorous.

“She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household….” (Proverbs 31:15)

Before my mom left recently to visit my sister for two weeks, she asked me to make sure my dad had lunch every day for work. My dad normally leaves around 6:30 or so in the morning. And even though I am a morning person, this isn't always exactly enjoyable. This virtuous woman rose "also while it is yet night". Let me just say, this verse is not advocating that women don’t ever sleep. That would be stupid. But, it does say something about where this woman’s heart was. She was more than willing to do whatever it took to take care of her household, including rising up while it was still dark; another words, really early. And there’s nothing wrong with sleep. J (Thank the Lord!) But, as virtuous young women, we need to be willing to forgo, if need be. This is certainly the case when it comes to motherhood. You can’t just let your baby cry all night from want of milk. You have to sacrifice. And it would be the same being a wife. Granted, your husband won’t be crying all night because he’s hungryJ, but still, there are sacrifices that will need to be made. The odds are, if you aren’t willing to get up early and make a quick lunch for your dad right now, you probably won’t be willing to for your husband either, if necessary. 

“She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple….She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.” (Proverbs 31:21-22,24-25)

What you prepare, God is able to use. (Please consider reading this post.) It is the same with marriage. The more you prepare, the better equipped you will be. Cooking, baking, everyday household chores, canning, gardening, and even health are all good things to know before you get married. Not to mention that they are also all practical ways to help as a daughter at home.

Proverbs 31:29 says, “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.” And while this woman was greatly praised for her virtuous qualities, I also have to mention, she also had handmaids. J Now a days, to be a stay-at-home, homeschooling mommy, you are not just “mother”, but “teacher” and sometimes “doctor” too. It would be wise to prepare to the best of our ability. Although, it is also a comfort to know that no matter how unprepared, or even how prepared, we may feel, truly, the Lord is our helper.

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” (Proverbs 31:26)

She has wisdom. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

The virtuous young woman is kind. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

I Corinthians 13:4 says, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind;”

Kindness is rooted in love. When we really love someone, kindness will naturally follow. I Corinthians 13 goes on to say… “charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Having charity and kindness towards others starts long before marriage does. This is something we should have towards all men. Something we should practice towards our siblings. Something we should have towards our family. Towards our friends. Towards our neighbor. Towards the lost.

Lately, the Lord has been very faithful to show me that I have a “love problem”. It is very humbling to realize that your love is, at its best, selfish and utterly failing. We want to be loved more than we care to give love. Our natural human love is rooted only in completely selfishness. It is when we acknowledge our lack of love and our desperate need for it, that Christ is then able to fill us with His love, which is perfect, unselfish, and never once failing. He will give us His love towards others.

 It is convicting to see that the things about someone else that continually annoy and maybe even frustrate me, don’t actually annoy and frustrate Him. Why? Because, He loves that person.  He is love. And I, most certainly, am not. But again, He is able to enable us with that love. Charity, “Beareth all things … Endureth all things.” When the faults and failures of someone else continually affect, annoy, and hurt you, Charity still, "Beareth all things...Endureth all things." Charity, “Hopeth all things…Believeth all things.” Jesus is the One who is able to change hearts. But even when we feel like someone is completely unworthy of our love, we still love because He first loved us, not because that person deserves it. We have never once deserved His love- and yet, He still loves us.

“She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” (Proverbs 31:20)

In verses 8 and 9 it says, “Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.”

Who are the poor? Who are the needy? Who are those appointed to destruction?

The lost souls of men(To Be His Witness)

Babies being murdered by abortion(Who Will Speak Out For the Voiceless)

The homeless and the hungry
Others you may know with needs

Are we willing to “stretch out our hand” to the poor and to the needy? To make a difference in someone else’s life? To stand up against the evils of our day? To open our mouths with truth and kindness? To love someone more than you love yourself? We need to be available vessels for His glory.

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.” (Proverbs 31:30-31)