A Virtuous Young Woman

Spiritual Lesson

A Virtuous Young Woman

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price if far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10)

I just recently read Proverbs 31. We are all familiar with this chapter as being the chapter of what a virtuous woman must look like. I’ve heard it typically used in reference to married women. It will most likely be mentioned on “Mother’s Day”, as in, this is what a godly wife or mother should be. Which is true, especially since there are several references to this Proverbs 31 woman being both a wife and a mother; but, this chapter isn’t just for married women. This was also King Lemuel’s counsel to his son, in choosing a bride. These were character traits he admonished his son to look for in a young lady. The principles of Proverbs 31 apply to all women. Whether single, engaged, married, or even widowed. In this post, I would like to apply them to single young woman. Girls who, while desiring to someday apply them practically towards both their future husbands and children, can also apply them in their daily lives right now.

We do not have to wait until we are married to be virtuous women for the Lord.

There is a lot to be learned from Proverbs 31, and many things, which the Lord will most likely be teaching me for the rest of my life. But it begins now. And while I may not be able to comment on everything addressed in this chapter, I would like to share just a few thoughts with some of the things I recently observed. 

 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:11-12)

Firstly, I see trust. She is a trustworthy person. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her”. She is someone he can trust. She is faithful to him, not only as a wife, but also as a friend. She isn’t running off to tell her girlfriends (or her mother) everything about their relationship. She is committed to him. He is able to trust her with his heart. It can be very hard sometimes to allow yourself to be vulnerable and to trust your heart with someone; let alone if that person has or is continually betraying that trust. She is accepting of him. I think this is important, because it is nearly impossible to “safely trust” someone who doesn’t really love and accept you for who you are. And I don’t necessarily mean a tolerance for sin, but grace towards a sinner. (We are all sinners saved by God’s grace.) 

Question: Are you trustworthy?

The habits we form, the faults which we do not change, will follow us for the rest of our lives. Walking down the aisle on your wedding day doesn’t magically warp you into the “perfect helpmeet” you’ve always desired to be.

Can the people in your life right now trust you? Are you always eager to share the latest about “so and so”? Do you gossip? Is there wisdom in your words? There is nothing quite so blessed and liberating as a trusty friend. Someone you can be yourself with, because no matter what, they’re going to love you. Someone you can bear your soul to, because they care. Someone who you can confidently give all of your heart to, because you know you are able to trust them fully. Such a friend is priceless. And maybe you can think of just such a person. But are you that kind of person? Are you that kind of friend? Are you that daughter? Or maybe that sister?

“She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.” (Proverbs 31:13)

“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27)

Then I see that she is industrious. She isn’t lazy or idle, but is seeking opportunities to bless her house. Sometimes as young girls, the idea of building up a “future house” sounds much more appealing than building up the one you are currently in. We might think that we'll definitely put effort into our "future house" once we are married; but my question is, do you do that now, with your father's house? Proverbs 14:1 says- “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” And while this does apply to your “future house”(marriage) too, it also applies to your current house. If you are a wise woman, you will be building up, not tarring down, not idling away your time.

The Bible says that we are to do "all things as unto the Lord". If this were truly our hearts intent, it simply would not matter where you were doing this. Whether that is at home, on the job, at church, or maybe in some other form of ministry. We do not have to wait, and we should not wait, until we are married with our own house and husband to be building up the people around us.

As a single daughter at home, the Lord has given me many opportunities to “build up my home” where I am. Whether that is cleaning the house, doing dishes, making dinner, encouraging my dad, helping my mom, tackling the laundry pile, or even simply having a thankful, joyful spirit; we do not have to wait until we are “running our own house” to be a blessing. No, actually, it is when you are helping at home right now that you learn how to be a helpmeet for the future. And truly, learning to joyfully accept the mundane tasks and duties of everyday life is a very important, challenging lesson of itself.

Learning to walk in the spirit among our daily responsibilities is where the rubber meets the road. Life isn’t always exciting. And marriage won’t automatically make the drudgery of work glamorous.

“She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household….” (Proverbs 31:15)

Before my mom left recently to visit my sister for two weeks, she asked me to make sure my dad had lunch every day for work. My dad normally leaves around 6:30 or so in the morning. And even though I am a morning person, this isn't always exactly enjoyable. This virtuous woman rose "also while it is yet night". Let me just say, this verse is not advocating that women don’t ever sleep. That would be stupid. But, it does say something about where this woman’s heart was. She was more than willing to do whatever it took to take care of her household, including rising up while it was still dark; another words, really early. And there’s nothing wrong with sleep. J (Thank the Lord!) But, as virtuous young women, we need to be willing to forgo, if need be. This is certainly the case when it comes to motherhood. You can’t just let your baby cry all night from want of milk. You have to sacrifice. And it would be the same being a wife. Granted, your husband won’t be crying all night because he’s hungryJ, but still, there are sacrifices that will need to be made. The odds are, if you aren’t willing to get up early and make a quick lunch for your dad right now, you probably won’t be willing to for your husband either, if necessary. 

“She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple….She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.” (Proverbs 31:21-22,24-25)

What you prepare, God is able to use. (Please consider reading this post.) It is the same with marriage. The more you prepare, the better equipped you will be. Cooking, baking, everyday household chores, canning, gardening, and even health are all good things to know before you get married. Not to mention that they are also all practical ways to help as a daughter at home.

Proverbs 31:29 says, “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.” And while this woman was greatly praised for her virtuous qualities, I also have to mention, she also had handmaids. J Now a days, to be a stay-at-home, homeschooling mommy, you are not just “mother”, but “teacher” and sometimes “doctor” too. It would be wise to prepare to the best of our ability. Although, it is also a comfort to know that no matter how unprepared, or even how prepared, we may feel, truly, the Lord is our helper.

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” (Proverbs 31:26)

She has wisdom. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

The virtuous young woman is kind. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

I Corinthians 13:4 says, “Charity suffereth long, and is kind;”

Kindness is rooted in love. When we really love someone, kindness will naturally follow. I Corinthians 13 goes on to say… “charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Having charity and kindness towards others starts long before marriage does. This is something we should have towards all men. Something we should practice towards our siblings. Something we should have towards our family. Towards our friends. Towards our neighbor. Towards the lost.

Lately, the Lord has been very faithful to show me that I have a “love problem”. It is very humbling to realize that your love is, at its best, selfish and utterly failing. We want to be loved more than we care to give love. Our natural human love is rooted only in completely selfishness. It is when we acknowledge our lack of love and our desperate need for it, that Christ is then able to fill us with His love, which is perfect, unselfish, and never once failing. He will give us His love towards others.

 It is convicting to see that the things about someone else that continually annoy and maybe even frustrate me, don’t actually annoy and frustrate Him. Why? Because, He loves that person.  He is love. And I, most certainly, am not. But again, He is able to enable us with that love. Charity, “Beareth all things … Endureth all things.” When the faults and failures of someone else continually affect, annoy, and hurt you, Charity still, "Beareth all things...Endureth all things." Charity, “Hopeth all things…Believeth all things.” Jesus is the One who is able to change hearts. But even when we feel like someone is completely unworthy of our love, we still love because He first loved us, not because that person deserves it. We have never once deserved His love- and yet, He still loves us.

“She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” (Proverbs 31:20)

In verses 8 and 9 it says, “Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.”

Who are the poor? Who are the needy? Who are those appointed to destruction?

The lost souls of men(To Be His Witness)

Babies being murdered by abortion(Who Will Speak Out For the Voiceless)

The homeless and the hungry
Others you may know with needs

Are we willing to “stretch out our hand” to the poor and to the needy? To make a difference in someone else’s life? To stand up against the evils of our day? To open our mouths with truth and kindness? To love someone more than you love yourself? We need to be available vessels for His glory.

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.” (Proverbs 31:30-31)

A Willing Heart, with a Ready Mind, through an Open Door

Spiritual Lessons

A Willing Heart, with a Ready Mind, through an Open Door

“God will use what you prepare.” I heard that recently in a message I was listening to. It really struck me. I think sometimes we can be lazy with our time and become complacent with the abilities God has given us. We can be guilty of giving little to no thought or effort to the preparation of important things- and expect somehow a good result when the time comes. At least, I know I am. I believe, as Christians, we should have a higher standard. 

Luke 12:48 says- “...For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.”

Also, I Corinthians 4:2- “Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.”

If the Lord desires to use us, as He does, for His glory and the furtherance of the Gospel of Christ, wouldn’t it just be wise, to be ready? If I was asked to sing a special next Sunday, wouldn’t it be smart to practice? Or if I needed to fix something, to make sure I had all the right tools? I wouldn’t avoid culinary skills in the kitchen and then start working in a four-star restaurant. There is wisdom in being ready for what the Lord wants you to do.

“Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (II Timothy 1:6-7)

“Nothing is small or great in God’s sight; whatsoever He wills becomes great to us, however seemingly trifling, and if once the voice of conscience tells us that He requires anything of us, we have no right to measure its importance. On the other hand, whatever He would not have us do, however important we may think it, is as nought to us. How do you know what you may lose by neglecting this duty, which you think so trifling, or the blessing which its faithful performance may bring? Be sure that if you do your very best in that which is laid upon you daily, you will not be left without sufficient help when some weightier occasion arises. Give yourself to Him, trust Him, fix your eye upon Him, listen to His voice, and then go on bravely and cheerfully.” (Jean Nicolas Grou- “Daily Strength for Daily Needs” P.24)

Faithfulness in the little things, that can often be overlooked, is very important. Because even though it may feel a “small thing”- it is equally of the same importance to Him. We cannot deem anything small, that He deems of great importance, even when men do. The Lord told me, not long ago, that He wanted me to learn the piano. I don’t honestly know for what reason, He didn’t give one. He didn’t have to. But I know He has a good reason for it. Somewhere, sometime, someday, He wants to use that ability. To neglect it, would be disobedience. It would also be throwing away an opportunity to be used of the Lord in a way I don’t know of yet. And it would not only affect me, but others also. What blessing may we be forfeiting, what opportunity lost? Anytime the Lord has asked something specifically of me, I’ve always been glad I listened and gave it. He is a master planner and knows what I do not. He is trustworthy as He is worthy of all we are and all we possess. However, this doesn’t even include the idea of natural talents and abilities He has given to us, which can either be sad nothingness or gateways of opportunity for Him. What a blessing it might be if we were to develop our natural, God-given abilities and talents. For some, it could be musical talent or artistic ability. A gift for learning languages or writing books. Maybe even certain personality traits or physical differences. The list is endless as it is personal. Often times, He’s given us even those little desires of our hearts for a good reason. Not that “every desire” we have is a good desire. But the desires that are from Him. (Psalms 37) And Philippians 2:13 says- “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” So if it is true, that the more we prepare the more He is able to use, why aren’t we preparing?

“It is by doing our duty that we learn to do it. So long as men dispute whether or no a thing is their duty, they get never the nearer. Let them set ever so weakly about doing it, and the face of things alters. They find in themselves strength which they knew not of. Difficulties which it seemed to them they could not get over, disappear. For He accompanies it with the influences of His blessed Spirit, and each performance opens our minds for larger influxes of His grace, and places them in communion with Him.” (E. B. Pusey, “Daily Strength for Daily Needs” P.22)

I Peter 3:15 says- “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:”

The Lord has commanded us to be ready to give an answer for the hope that lieth within us. There is nothing “optional” about that verse. We are told to be ready. Recently, the Lord gave me a special opportunity to witness to someone. As my family was traveling down to California, we all took our designated seats on the airplane. It wasn’t a very full flight and only maybe ¾ or so of the seats were actually taken. So I made my way to 15B. My sister sat beside me. And then, “Cindy”. A middle-aged woman with short sandy-blond hair and a very sad and lonely, but independent, feeling about her. Here were all these empty seats… but the Lord had her sit in 15C. And He had a reason. I didn’t feel very social or talkative, but we started up a conversation regardless. Mostly small chit-chat at first. She was a very lonely person. Experienced “life” to the fullest meaning of the word and found it wanting. She was curious. She listened. She asked questions. So for over 2 hours I talked and witnessed to her. She believed in a “god” (basically a higher power of some sort or religion), but knew nothing about Jesus. I was struck by the realization that people literally don’t know. And I know that many are willingly ignorant, but others, have honestly never heard. Hurts my heart. So I laid out the gospel from the beginning. I shared my personal testimony. She could tell there was something different about me. She remarked how she knew she didn’t have what I had. She admitted that she was a sinner, but still was trusting blindly in a “good vs. bad” heavenly scale. This was when my sister joined our conversation. I’ve never seen someone with so much conviction with nowhere to go. But the more His Spirit brought conviction, the more she seemed to listen. I was thankful for that. In the end, I gave her a “DONE book”. (A short little book that explains the gospel really well.) She was interested enough to tell me that she’d read it. And although I may never see “Cindy” again in this life- I honestly suspect that I maybe will in the next.

“…and be ready always to give an answer.” I believe the biggest part to being “ready” to share Christ with someone is in knowing Him personally for yourself. It is easy to talk about someone you love. To tell someone about a person you know. I've never hesitated to tell anyone that I have a physical earthly father. Because I know him. I believe another important part to being “ready” is simply by being willing. When we are completely surrendered to Him and filled with His Spirit, He delights to open the doors, to bring someone into your life or along the way in His timing. Seeds can be sown. Hearts can be stirred. Souls can be saved. I know that if we asked- we’d receive. And if we dared to knock, He’d open the door. I am amazed and blessed at how often He gives me the words to say. It wasn't something I rehearsed of myself. When we depend on Him, He’ll give us the courage needed and our words can be His words. And with this dependence, came a confidence and a boldness I hadn't experienced before. I wasn't afraid, because I knew He was with me. I didn't feel a panic to think of the right response to a question. He gave the answers. He wants to talk to that lost soul more than I do and He knows just how to do it. It is His Spirit that draws. In a way, witnessing feels like jumping off a dock into deep, cold, and unknown water, just to find that there is really a solid rock on which to stand just beneath you all along. The initial jump is the hardest. One more thought that comes to my mind with being “ready”, is literal preparation. I was encouraged by how much scripture I actually knew without thinking about it. Knowing your Bible, studying and memorizing scripture, and even reading good books are all good ways to prepare.

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Neglect not the gift that is in thee, … Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.” (I Timothy 4:12-16)

Philippians 4:13 says- “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” We have everything we could ever need in Christ, in His strength. When He asks us to do something, He gives us the power to do it. If there is a lesson to be learned, He’s the best teacher. If He wants us to develop a certain useful skill or simply practice what we already know, He gives the ability. He’ll go before us. He promises to make a way, even in the wilderness.

Hannah W. Smith once wrote- “If He commands me to do a thing, I am sure He will give me the power of His Spirit to do it. His commands are not grievous, we are told, but surely they would be grievous if we were unable to obey them. It would have been grievous if God had commanded the children of Israel to go in and possess the land of Canaan, and knowing they were unable to do it, had not intended to supply them with power. But, in fact, His very command was the reason why they should have no fear in undertaking what He had told them to do.”

(“God is Enough” P. 138)

What is it you already know God has asked you to do? What aren’t you preparing for? Will you have a willing heart? A ready mind? And in doing so, allow Him to open the doors of blessed opportunity.