Dehumanizing Women

Spiritual Lessons 

Guest writer Rebecca Robinson shares with us the importance of how women ought to be treated.

Dehumanizing Women 

Okay friends, hang in there with me. This is important.

The sexual objectification of women is widely normalized and widely embraced, not only by porn addicts and womanizers, but by the many evangelical Christians who grew up believing that hemlines mattered more than personal holiness.
But sexual objectification isn't the only kind that exists. (Yay, Becky, tell us more.)
Men who treat women like they are replaceable, interchangeable role-fillers who do not exist as individuals but as props to be used aren't less guilty of objectifying them. When you go on a hunt for a woman- any woman will do- because you desperately want someone, anyone, to touch and talk at and make you appear a certain way, you are not loving that woman. If a man is constantly pursuing women and treating each one of them like Ryan Gosling treats "Bianca" in Lars and the Real Girl, then he has a serious problem that needs seriously to be addressed.

The bottom line is this: don't treat women (or anyone) like they are things to be possessed rather than people to be loved. It is one of the ugliest ways you can devalue and dehumanize God's image bearers, and it will cause you to miss out on the most beautiful gift this side of Heaven, which is the incredible and mysterious gift of loving and sacrificial relationships between people.

I know a lot of you are sick of hearing about this, but please understand that this issue is inextricably knotted with child sacrifice, with the destruction of families, with adultery, with sex slavery, and the decay of our culture as a whole. This matters so, so much, especially since this treatment of women is often much easier for men to get away with within the profession of faith in Christ.

Women: Find your peace in Christ, not man. This will help you be protected from the flattering tongue of a men who see you as a means to an end rather than a brilliantly unique individual worth caring for, and give the discernment to see the difference.
Men: Be vigilantly aware of this reality and protect and and advocate for the women around you.

I'm sorry to keep beating this drum, I know it gets to sounding trite after a while. But this is at the center of everything we fight against, and it is one of those pernicious evils that is easily overlooked and minimized for the sake of keeping people comfortable.

Yes, We're Different

Spiritual Lessons

Yes, We're Different

 

Putting on make-up and wearing a dress does not make me a woman; scientifically, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Men putting on women's clothing and make-up doesn't make them a woman anymore than it does us, either. It is an insult to womanhood to pretend it does. We were created with a different genetic code, different emotions, different body. These different attributes is in no way a slam to either gender. It's fact, and it is beautiful, and it's right.


Acknowledging the difference between the sun and moon is not ignorant, insensitive or offensive. The moon's light IS less than the sun's. Does saying so indicate the moon is less valuable? Of course not! Women ARE weaker. Don't be offended. Women are valuable. And why? Because our worth has nothing to do with our strength, our looks, our efforts. Thank goodness! Because most of us women cannot achieve men's physical strength. (The exception proves the rule – too all feminists who want to jump up and shout out their heroine). Beauty fades. Our abilities often dim. It's not what we do, but who we are. Human beings made in the image of God.


Men are the image of God in fierceness and passion. He is conquer, a lion, a champion, a victor.


Women are God's image of beauty, vulnerability, the desire to loved. We embody Christ's nurturing and gentleness. We desire to be delighted in – a characteristic of God. A.W. Tozer once said, “God waits to be wanted”. Isn't this the dream of every little girl? To be wanted, appreciated, part of someone's adventure? God also wants to be wanted, appreciated and part of our lives. He desires to unveil His majesty.


The world muddys the distinction between woman and man. Society demands men to be soft, and woman to be fierce. The Church requires men to be “good” and women to be servants.


But God already instilled in each of us the desire and ability to be who He created us to be. Men are meant to be masculine. They are meant to battle and conquer. They are meant to live an adventure. To rescue. To lead.


We women are meant to nurture. To inspire. To support. To add beauty. To be guardians.


Does that mean we aren't supposed to be strong as women? Or that it's wrong for men to be gentle? No, of course not. But a woman who is only fierce and not feminine, and a man who only can be gentle but has no back-bone – there is something wrong.


As women, we should be unashamed in our calling. We should embrace our femininity – it is our unique, God-given identity. And we should encourage our men to be men. Appreciate the wildness in our men! Be a cheerful partner in their adventure. Love their passion. Love the man who spends himself in a worthy cause. Cheer him on, and fight next to him. Admire the failure who dared to try – because he is a man, not a puppet, not a conformist, not a coward.


The next time we sigh because our brothers are being “boys” or when we are tempted to critique something in our Dad we can't relate to, when our man wants to venture on some crazy notion – maybe then would be a good time to be acknowledge our differences and be thankful for them. What would the world look like with just women? Or if all mankind was emasculated? Certainly not the world God desires.


We haven't been gypped. We too have an adventure to live, a life to conquer, a gauntlet to run. We too have passions. We also are asked to be lion-hearted. We don't have to give in to the idea that our life is to be ruled by romance novels, make-up, shopping and materialism. Being a woman of God means we are allowed to be who we were created to be, women warriors, faithful daughters, inspirations – guardians of our homes – warrior raisers. Hollywood depicts woman as the subplot where she is conquered and the adventure is over. Instead, we are to be won, but then that is only part of the story. Because then we get to start another adventure but with our dearest friend as our companion.


Embrace the difference. It's supposed to be this way. And God called it good.

Accept and Appreciate

Spiritual Lessons

Accept and Appreciate

Satan hates us. He hated Eve. He would use us to destroy the kingdom of God as he tried to use Eve to destroy mankind.

We are weaker. There's no doubt in any rational mind, women are weaker. But it's a gift! God has created women in a totally unique way than men and though weaker in many areas, we are also better equipped in others.

Godly women are ensured protection in God's order by godly men. Authority and roles of headship are in place for our protection. Not for our oppression and suppression. To be truly godly and feminine in this wicked world is a dangerous adventure.

God has equipped us by commanding men to be our protectors and providers. We were created to have the protection of good men over us. So we might freely fulfill our purpose as women. Christ instilled men to be warriors for His kingdom, which includes sheltering, guiding, protecting women so they might flourish.

If God has placed good men in your life, you should rejoice, accept, and appreciate this gift.

Women who reject manhood and their duty to protect them, also reject who they are. Women are images bearers of God. Part of creation's crown. Chosen, and purposed to be exactly as created. We've been designed to be cherished and needed. Our femininity is beautiful, dangerous, powerful and life-giving. We are redeemed children of God meant to be tender, and inviting. We are equipped as warrior raisers. Individuals and yet all with a shared purpose of be man's co-ruler and laborer.

There is nothing inferior about being a captivating and powerful woman of God. The King of kings extends his hand inviting us to follow. There is nothing undignified about following a King. And when he places our hand in the hand of a fallible man, we can nobly accept and confidently follow his lead. And when Satan tempts us, we can smile at him and prove the glory of an all powerful God in the beauty of a noble woman's heart.



At War With Pink Lace

Femininity

 

We Are Lions

Spiritual Lessons 

We Are Lions

I was talking to my little brother last night and he asked me why the Pharaoh of Egypt had decided to kill all the male children of Israel. I explained that Pharaoh was afraid of how large Israel had become, and he knew that it was possible for the men to rise up and seize Egypt.

While explaining this I realized what amazing qualities God has instilled in men. He has given them the desire to conquer for righteousness' sake, to be protectors, to be noble and courageous. Pharaoh feared godly men. And then, my ten year old brother found it amusing that Pharaoh was so afraid of men, when God used women to conquer him. The midwifes, Moses' mother, and Miriam, his sister.

We women have the opportunity to be used greatly. To not only dwell in the Light but walk in it. To shine. Women through the centuries have been used to save nations, to spread the Gospel, and to usher in the King of kings. Our feminine heart was created to be great. To co-labor with noble men. To save nations. To spread the Gospel. To show the world Jesus. 

We are capable of being Esther's and Mary's. We may have Hamman's in our life. Or reputations that may be at risk. Or even our lives. Maybe it's our time, our energy, our finances that are to be sacrificed? Maybe it's our fears, or our low expectations that need to be conquered. God has a purpose for us far far beyond a good life and a good relationship with Him. 

We were created to be helpmates. To be lionesses. To be culture shapers. To be warrior raisers. To be light and salt. We can and we must live up to this. He will be our strength. What nations wait to be saved? What destinies teeter on the balance? What lives wait hanging on our “yes” to Jesus?

Warrior Brides

Spiritual Lessons

Warrior Brides

“Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!”

A cold voice answered: “Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shriveled mind shall be left naked to the Lidless Eye.”

A sword rang as it was drawn. “Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may.”

… “Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!”

… It seemed that Dernhelm [Eowyn] laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. “But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Eowyn I am, Eomund's daughter...Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him."


Ladies, we are women warriors. It is imperative that we engage in the spiritual warfare around us. Men are not meant to be alone in this battle. It's true, we are the weaker vessel, and God did create men to be our leaders, providers, protectors – but all the children of God are called to fight the principalities and rulers of darkness. (Eph. 6:12)

God has bestowed us with loyal fierceness for a reason. We are co-warriors.

All of us can attest to Satan's enjoyment of attacking us Christians. I'm here to warn you that Satan will attack us women, not only to insure our inaction but as a means to stab our fellow warriors in the back. Especially our men.

Here is one thing that has been prevalent in my life and in my friends life. I hope with all my heart this is heartening and even helpful in staving off destruction.

Attacks in our relationships.

Sometimes it's emotion driven. We are plagued by depression, anxiety, low self-worth, fear, etc. Over and over these emotions are used against us in our family relationships. Well-intentioned family may wonder (aloud) at the wisdom of our husbands. They share their concern and or counsel. They sew seeds of doubt, mist-trust or disrespect into our hearts. (By the way – we aren't to reverence ANY men in our lives other than our husbands). Though well-meaning, they've overstepped their bounds. Who is responsible for letting them know that? We are. We tell them, kindly but firmly, that they can take their concerns to your man. No-one should be allowed to step between you and your husband. You're his right hand, and together you're a team. It's sinful to sit behind his back and question him with your concerned family. (Honestly, if anyone approaches us about someone else we should send them to the person they have a problem with). And if we are the woman who goes to other people about their husbands we must quickly repent and acknowledge our sin. We are not only doing this couple a disfavor, we are attacking their marriage and are sinning and will be held responsible. It doesn't matter if they are our best friend, our sister or our daughter.

We engage spiritual wickedness and our relationships will be attacked. We must recognize isolation, guilt, harbored hard feelings, etc. as an attack. We will be rendered useless in the battle and we may take our fellow soldiers out as well.

This being said; grief is appropriate. Acknowledging wounds is right. It's okay to recognize that all the faces you sought friendship from are gone. It's healthy to let go of people who once were pillars of security. We are allowed to flee spears. If reconciliation is impossible we're righteous in “moving on” without them. Our part is to call upon God as our savior, cast our burden on Him and look to Him for wisdom and sustenance. If you have Ahithophel's in your life: follow David's example. (Ps.55).

But it's not okay to allow someone's injustice towards us to fester into back-biting, hard feelings, snide remarks, gossip and sleepless nights.

We are Christ's bride. He is a Victor. And He has declared war on the world. We aren't the damsel's in distress here. We're married to a warrior King. He has chosen to use and need us. Of course our men will fight for us and often stand between our enemies and us. This is noble and we should be thankful. If our men, (our husbands, boyfriends, fathers, brothers, brothers in Christ) have taken up spiritual arms, we should rejoice and thank God. So few are willing to be the men God created them to be. They are under severe attack from the world, the enemy, their spiritual leaders, and Christians friends. They stand on a lonely righteous battle field. We are either standing next to them or against them. There isn't a neutral ground. If we are not encouraging, strengthening, or supporting them we are most certainly discouraging and tearing them down. We've joined enemy ranks when we are uncertain of them. When we offer criticism. When we cheer them on in “their thing”. Or when we distract them from their purpose. Or pout. When we think of spiritual warfare as being a “man thing”.

Christianity is not a passive religion.

Christianity is not a man's religion.

All of us fight. All of us take dominion. All of us rule. All of us reign. All us are light. All of us minister to the afflicted. (Gen 1:26, Matt. 25:21, Rev. 22:5, 2 Cor. 4:5-6, James 1:27).

We are not helpless as women. We are not victims. We are meant to be courageous Jaels. What lies have we allowed in our lives to keep back our hammer and spike? Really – as yourself. What accusations of our men have we allowed to taint us against the battle? What disappointments, hurts, and injustices leave us useless and lifeless?

It is possible that these things are attacks. And it is most certain that they have been allowed in your life to move you into a active Christianity. True Christianity. A religion where we not only have a relationship with Christ as His bride, but where we practice our religion and work our our salvation as warriors.

Ladies, we have have an amazing and fulfilling calling as Warrior brides. Christ desires to train us how to be compassionate, willing to dies, merciful and bleeding; while also to put on his armor, cry the battle cries, pull our swords ad defy the enemies of darkness.

What does that mean practically? It means we will set aside nagging doubts and join our husband in his vision. It means we be willing to be made willing to love again. It means working at our friendships even when it's uncomfortable. It means bringing our concerns before our God and refusing self-pity reign. It means doing something instead of just talking about it. It means sacrificing time, ease and reputation. It means actively looking for opportunities. Habitually sharing the gospel. Speaking for the voiceless. Ministering to our children or siblings. Praying. Committing our homes and lives to God alone. Prioritizing our life so we might be available to be used. Spending our money wisely. Questioning traditions. Allowing ourselves to be put in uncomfortable stretching experiences. In other words ACTING like Christians.

We live in a culture of death and sin. The enemy moves unchained. He seeks who He may devor. And how has God chosen to hinder him? The Beloved. That's me. That's you. He is that great in us. We were chosen to be women on purpose. He wants to use your femininity, beauty, strength, fierceness, to encourage those around you and to love your neighbor and to stand by your men.

If you are allowing people in your life to keep you from the battle, if you concede to their low expectations, if your generously refuse to be a warrior bride on someone else's behalf: You are sinning. And you are enabling that person to sin. If you know what is right and refuse to do it, you will be held doubly accountable.

We are in a life-and-death battle. The spiritual life IS our life. It's not a piece of life. It's not optional. We are in a battle with an enemy who works 24/7 to destroy life. The Lord is our warrior and overcomer. He asks, even commands, that we join Him.

Will we be a Warrior Bride?



Other Related Posts:

Femininity 

Our Men Need Us

At War with Pink Lace 

Our Men Need Us

Spiritual Lessons 

Our Men Need Us!

The word “helpmeet” does not imply weakness. It implies that men have a need and women have a unique ability.

God created women to be a mans' helper; not because we are inferior but because we were designed to perfectly meet man's need. This is exciting, not demeaning! We are not opposites. We can co-exist in godly charity. We were created to! Viewing men as another species is ungodly and founded on a wicked mindset.

Yet, we are different. Which is godly and necessary. To blur these lines is also sinful.

The world hates masculinity and men who dominate, conquer, lead and protect. And yet, this partly why they were created. (Genesis 1:28). When we cringe at the word “dominate” we wince at their very purpose. We encourage the attitude that men should be ashamed of what their Creator mandated. Are we offended at the thought of men being conquerors? If we could follow that thought down to the root, we would find this ideology comes from an evil source. (feminism post).

The world teaches men to shirk manhood and encourages us to be repulsed by it. The world propagates the idea we women don't need men and are better off without them. Women are roused into a feminist mob of men-haters. While men are being shamed or lulled into passivity.

We women, whether married of not, mustn't be fooled. Ladies, our men are being ambushed by the enemy in their masculinity. We aren't standing on neutral ground on this one. We are either fighting against the enemy or we are on the enemy's side.

How can we practically encourage our men? I want to hear from you, but here are some of my ideas I hope to faithfully implement.

1. Embracing femininity. By being a modest, feminine, godly woman of God, I know it automatically inspires men to be pure, chivalrous men.
2. Embracing our purpose. We women were made of man for man. To co-rule, be fruitful, multiply, take dominion. We were meant to be united. It is not weak to think highly of men and desire to serve by their side. For goodness sake! We were created from their side, why not serve next to their side? Men need us and we need men. We were designed that way. Married women have an obvious ministry to their man. But we all are given fathers and brothers in Christ that we can serve and minister and encourage.

What does this look like practically? It might mean praying or fasting for them. Writing an encouraging note. Supporting their decisions. Allowing them to treat us like ladies. Treating them selflessly. Studying and contributing to our brother's interests. Offering to help in their projects. Packing their lunch. Speaking highly of them. Being hospitable. Staying up to date with current events. (We can be interesting, intellectual and well-rounded in conversational topics! There is only one thing more irritating than a bunch of girls who only know how to whisper, giggle, and talk of “girl topics”, ie: themselves: Grown women who only know how to gossip, cackle, and talk of birth experiences. Okay... I'm off my soap box...you get the point.) Accompanying them in evangelism. Cheering them on. Letting them know you respect or support them. Taking a rebuke in the right attitude. Seeking their counsel. For married couples that are friends, we can babysit children, or clean their homes. The list is almost endless.

Godly men do not expect women to rubber stamp their every decision just because they are men. Real men do not demand support. Submission is not coerced. We are responsible in our role as women to honor our men, submit to our husband, and to act charitably and femininely. But we are not meant to be manipulated or forced into subjection; verbally or physically. We are meant to be Pricillia's, Jaels' and Abigails', NOT Bethsehbas.

This being said, there is a lack of courageous feminine women of God who are willing to take off Satan's blinders and fight. Fight next to their men. Encourage their men. Support their men. And graciously submit and serve and co-labor. We can be these kind of women. We can stand by our men and love them in all charity. They need us.

At War with Pink Lace II

At War with Pink Lace II

Yet another perspective on femininity  

I grabbed my purse, took a quick glance at the mirror, and headed for work.  I was surprised to find myself intercepted and my bedroom door slammed in my face.  Looking down I found four-year-old Abbie fiercely staring me down, one hand on the door knob.

"Will you play with me?"

The question sounded more like an ultimatum.

"Abbie I have to go to work today..."

"Just play with me for a little bit and I won't bother you again -- I promise."

Her face now melted into a baby plea, and it smote me.  I recognized it.

Abbie was desperate.  Not so much for play -- she could have played by herself for hours without interruption.  But for attention, interaction, quality camaraderie, love.  Not that she could have voiced it herself, but I knew.  Every little girl yearns for these things.

By the time we are three years old we innately understand we want to be cherished and beautiful and noticed.  We dress up in princess clothes and we want Daddy to notice.  We dance in mommy's bright red shoes and sing -- straining, waiting, for the compliment.  You tell a little girls she is lovely and her entire countenance changes and her heart shines through her face -- she is thrilled.

But somewhere between three and twenty-three we no longer ask if we are lovely.  We no longer ask for quality time.  And yet we still yearn to be appreciated, noticed and loved, maybe even more desperately than four-year-old Abbie.  But we have been ignored, unappreciated, put on rain-check, or used, and we stop asking.  In fact we start to believe we aren't lovely, we aren't worth appreciation.

We hide under make-up.  We try to prove ourselves through our efficiency or the one thing we're good at.  Our shortcomings stare back in the mirror.  And we wait for negative comments.
We want to be captivating,  beautiful, mysterious, regal, strong, feminine.  And instead we are convinced, if exposed, the world would find who we really are.  Instead we see ourselves  weak, ordinary, needy, and overweight.

And so we morph into one of two kinds of women.

Woman #1:
We become domineering, commanding independent feminists who don't need anyone (especially men).  We forsake tenderness and our inherent nurturing qualities for confidence and capability.  We refuse to find ourselves vulnerable.  We are addicted to indulgent activities.  To saving money, shopping, cleaning, exercising, gossiping -- anything to occupy our emptiness. Taken to the extreme you find these women often characterized in fairy tales as the evil step-mother.  But if we were honest, we could find this trait in even the meekest of us.  We have been disappointed or hurt by past relationships.  Wounded by the men in our lives, either by our father figures or romantic relationships.  We won't be fooled again.  We put up walls.  We won't be duped or guilty of naivete ever again. We are now wise, practical, protected, in control and utterly cold.  No-one can hurt us, no-one can love us.

Woman #2
 Or we become the shy, desperate, mousey, needy woman.  Heartbroken pitiful and unstable.  We seek for sympathy.  We are the geeks, the nerds, the romance novel readers.  We are insecure and afraid.  We think poorly of ourselves and it shows in our attitude, the way we dress and how we interact (if we do).  We will watch others play volley-ball but we'd never dream of trying it ourselves because we already know we will fail.  We'd rather do something "safe" in a group, like watch a movie, than something that requires our input -- because the world will find us out.  These aren't just the teens that pierce their entire bodies or the overweight women who hide behind their chip bag; although they are included.  Think of yourself.  When we walk in the mall and see an outfit we really like but automatically think we could never wear it.  We stay in the kitchen to "help" instead of interact with our house-guests because we aren't witty, humorous, social, enough.  We want others to decide for us because we are incapable, even of ordering at the restaurant.  We apologize for everything.  We are nauseated every time we go to work.  And we dismiss every compliment because it can't possibly be true.

This battle is real, and it wages in Christian women also.  Even in the hearts of those of us who were blessed with incredible homes and godly parents.  We look all the way back in history to the first woman -- her firsts downfall was believing she wasn't all she could be.  That she wasn't perfect enough.  That there was something better.

We don't have to give into Satan's lies.  We women were created for a purpose, as women and as individuals.  If we could grasp, not what we should be doing, but who we are, what are design is, we could easily let go of some of the lies, and allow some of our wounds to heal.
We long to be sought after and appreciated and needed.  God does also.  We desire to comfort and aid; so does He.  We yearn to be desired, pursued and loved.  Christ also has these longings.  Not only do we have the perfect Lover to fulfill our deepest longings, to both take and give love, but we have this quality to bestow on others.  We represent a tender part of God's heart for a reason.  He desires to use us to reveal Himself.

We women also have been given a beautiful mandate.  To be fruitful, to take dominion of the earth, to subdue it, to be stewards over it, and to co-rule with man, to help him, to complete him.  We are man's fellow warrior.  We are their counterpart.  We've been nominated as man's best companion through life's adventure.  We were naturally given fierce devotion for a reason.  We are not an appendage, but an essential part of creation, of man, of God's plan.  

Womanhood is not to be solved but relished.  Not to be stressed over, but embraced.  If we can simply recognize our worth and how our Creator sees us, we wouldn't be so apt to fall into feminist lies and seek fulfillment in selfish ways, or to lazily perceive our lives without purpose or ambition.
I sincerely believe that it's healthy to allow ourselves to enjoy being feminine and beautiful.  To seek for ways to inspire our fathers and brothers, to help them in little things.  To fiercely pray for our men.  To fast for them.  To serve beside them.  Nurture our little siblings or nieces and nephews.  Pursue and invest in Christ, talk and listen.  To shun feminist ideas and instead unashamedly dress and speak and fight and serve like a feminine woman.

What has Christ asked of you as an individual?  Are we cheerfully and passionately pursuing it?
You are needed. Creation was incomplete without the final creation of woman. God was unsatisfied, and earth was "not good" until woman was placed on the earth.  Man himself was incomplete.  Woman wasn't just a lovely afterthought, but we were needed.
 
Man and women are made in the image of God.  God reveals to mankind a part of himself in our femininity.  And only we women are ambassadors for this part of God.  Women are nurturers, we are romantic, we are interested in details, and fascinated by beauty.  These are character traits of our God.  Embrace them!  Allow, seek, let these things flow through your creativity.  For each of us, this will look differently.  Some of us are called to pursue schooling, some to be nurses, others are gifted as artists, others are called to study His stars, some to be missionaries -- run!  Follow it.

Womanhood is an adventure.  If we are Woman 1 or Woman 2 we will find that godly womanhood is not just an adventure but also a battle.  The first step to fighting is recognizing our wounds and our ungodly mentality and then striving to embrace who God has created us to be in the face of it all.

Related Post:

At War with Pink Lace I


Meet Emily & Samantha