Dehumanizing Women

Spiritual Lessons 

Guest writer Rebecca Robinson shares with us the importance of how women ought to be treated.

Dehumanizing Women 

Okay friends, hang in there with me. This is important.

The sexual objectification of women is widely normalized and widely embraced, not only by porn addicts and womanizers, but by the many evangelical Christians who grew up believing that hemlines mattered more than personal holiness.
But sexual objectification isn't the only kind that exists. (Yay, Becky, tell us more.)
Men who treat women like they are replaceable, interchangeable role-fillers who do not exist as individuals but as props to be used aren't less guilty of objectifying them. When you go on a hunt for a woman- any woman will do- because you desperately want someone, anyone, to touch and talk at and make you appear a certain way, you are not loving that woman. If a man is constantly pursuing women and treating each one of them like Ryan Gosling treats "Bianca" in Lars and the Real Girl, then he has a serious problem that needs seriously to be addressed.

The bottom line is this: don't treat women (or anyone) like they are things to be possessed rather than people to be loved. It is one of the ugliest ways you can devalue and dehumanize God's image bearers, and it will cause you to miss out on the most beautiful gift this side of Heaven, which is the incredible and mysterious gift of loving and sacrificial relationships between people.

I know a lot of you are sick of hearing about this, but please understand that this issue is inextricably knotted with child sacrifice, with the destruction of families, with adultery, with sex slavery, and the decay of our culture as a whole. This matters so, so much, especially since this treatment of women is often much easier for men to get away with within the profession of faith in Christ.

Women: Find your peace in Christ, not man. This will help you be protected from the flattering tongue of a men who see you as a means to an end rather than a brilliantly unique individual worth caring for, and give the discernment to see the difference.
Men: Be vigilantly aware of this reality and protect and and advocate for the women around you.

I'm sorry to keep beating this drum, I know it gets to sounding trite after a while. But this is at the center of everything we fight against, and it is one of those pernicious evils that is easily overlooked and minimized for the sake of keeping people comfortable.

Accept and Appreciate

Spiritual Lessons

Accept and Appreciate

Satan hates us. He hated Eve. He would use us to destroy the kingdom of God as he tried to use Eve to destroy mankind.

We are weaker. There's no doubt in any rational mind, women are weaker. But it's a gift! God has created women in a totally unique way than men and though weaker in many areas, we are also better equipped in others.

Godly women are ensured protection in God's order by godly men. Authority and roles of headship are in place for our protection. Not for our oppression and suppression. To be truly godly and feminine in this wicked world is a dangerous adventure.

God has equipped us by commanding men to be our protectors and providers. We were created to have the protection of good men over us. So we might freely fulfill our purpose as women. Christ instilled men to be warriors for His kingdom, which includes sheltering, guiding, protecting women so they might flourish.

If God has placed good men in your life, you should rejoice, accept, and appreciate this gift.

Women who reject manhood and their duty to protect them, also reject who they are. Women are images bearers of God. Part of creation's crown. Chosen, and purposed to be exactly as created. We've been designed to be cherished and needed. Our femininity is beautiful, dangerous, powerful and life-giving. We are redeemed children of God meant to be tender, and inviting. We are equipped as warrior raisers. Individuals and yet all with a shared purpose of be man's co-ruler and laborer.

There is nothing inferior about being a captivating and powerful woman of God. The King of kings extends his hand inviting us to follow. There is nothing undignified about following a King. And when he places our hand in the hand of a fallible man, we can nobly accept and confidently follow his lead. And when Satan tempts us, we can smile at him and prove the glory of an all powerful God in the beauty of a noble woman's heart.



At War With Pink Lace

Femininity

 

A Helpmeet

Spiritual Lessons

A Helpmeet

Satan knew how to take out Adam. He went after Adam's helpmeet. And it worked.

Satan uses this same strategy over and over.

I have been privileged to meet a handful of noble, godly men. These men are following after God's heart and seeking His kingdom and fighting against the gates of Hell. Recently I have noticed these men come under severe attack. And they've stood strong. Until, Satan pulled out his 6,000+ year old strategy. Attack on these men's wives.

Suddenly these strong men are uncertain. Insecure. Stumbling.

Ladies – do your relationships with the men in your life feel opposed? There's a reason. Satan would sift your men and would use you as a tool to do it.

Our fathers, brothers, husbands, brothers in Christ need us to be strong in the Lord. The world is against them. The last thing they need us doing is to join the tide against them.

The influence God has given us is powerful. We can choose to co-labor, encourage, support and build up. Or we can choose to manipulate, discourage, tear down our own homes and men.

Your anxiety ladies, effect your men. Your complaints weigh down your men. You listening to your mother's “concerns” about your husband, tears away at your marriage. Your disquiet effects your home's peace and health. Your fear enslaves you.

After the Lord we are our men's greatest assets. We were created to ennoble them. Repent of your selfishness and find the joy of building up the men God has placed in your life.

I understand we have a world of past wounds screaming at us to “play it safe”. We have our families, our reputations, our ministries at stake. We have many reasons to validate our mistrust in our men.

It's not a sin to be faced with fear. To feel uncertain. But our security does not lie in the absence of our fears and dangers, but in the presence of God who is our King. Do not be afraid. 1 Peter 3:6

I'm not advocating enabling our men to sin. I'm simply saying we can choose to set aside our anxiety, our fears, even our common sense, and thrust ahead at our men's sides in the battle. Question your heart's motivation. Maybe God is leading your man to a wilderness like Paul or Moses. Maybe your man is a David. Maybe our men are Mordecais? These men underwent ridicule, mocking, wilderness' and risks all for God's glory.

Take up your shield ladies. Pull out your sword. Take a stand with your man. You are about to become warriors.

Warrior Brides

Our Men Need Us

Spiritual Lessons 

Our Men Need Us!

The word “helpmeet” does not imply weakness. It implies that men have a need and women have a unique ability.

God created women to be a mans' helper; not because we are inferior but because we were designed to perfectly meet man's need. This is exciting, not demeaning! We are not opposites. We can co-exist in godly charity. We were created to! Viewing men as another species is ungodly and founded on a wicked mindset.

Yet, we are different. Which is godly and necessary. To blur these lines is also sinful.

The world hates masculinity and men who dominate, conquer, lead and protect. And yet, this partly why they were created. (Genesis 1:28). When we cringe at the word “dominate” we wince at their very purpose. We encourage the attitude that men should be ashamed of what their Creator mandated. Are we offended at the thought of men being conquerors? If we could follow that thought down to the root, we would find this ideology comes from an evil source. (feminism post).

The world teaches men to shirk manhood and encourages us to be repulsed by it. The world propagates the idea we women don't need men and are better off without them. Women are roused into a feminist mob of men-haters. While men are being shamed or lulled into passivity.

We women, whether married of not, mustn't be fooled. Ladies, our men are being ambushed by the enemy in their masculinity. We aren't standing on neutral ground on this one. We are either fighting against the enemy or we are on the enemy's side.

How can we practically encourage our men? I want to hear from you, but here are some of my ideas I hope to faithfully implement.

1. Embracing femininity. By being a modest, feminine, godly woman of God, I know it automatically inspires men to be pure, chivalrous men.
2. Embracing our purpose. We women were made of man for man. To co-rule, be fruitful, multiply, take dominion. We were meant to be united. It is not weak to think highly of men and desire to serve by their side. For goodness sake! We were created from their side, why not serve next to their side? Men need us and we need men. We were designed that way. Married women have an obvious ministry to their man. But we all are given fathers and brothers in Christ that we can serve and minister and encourage.

What does this look like practically? It might mean praying or fasting for them. Writing an encouraging note. Supporting their decisions. Allowing them to treat us like ladies. Treating them selflessly. Studying and contributing to our brother's interests. Offering to help in their projects. Packing their lunch. Speaking highly of them. Being hospitable. Staying up to date with current events. (We can be interesting, intellectual and well-rounded in conversational topics! There is only one thing more irritating than a bunch of girls who only know how to whisper, giggle, and talk of “girl topics”, ie: themselves: Grown women who only know how to gossip, cackle, and talk of birth experiences. Okay... I'm off my soap box...you get the point.) Accompanying them in evangelism. Cheering them on. Letting them know you respect or support them. Taking a rebuke in the right attitude. Seeking their counsel. For married couples that are friends, we can babysit children, or clean their homes. The list is almost endless.

Godly men do not expect women to rubber stamp their every decision just because they are men. Real men do not demand support. Submission is not coerced. We are responsible in our role as women to honor our men, submit to our husband, and to act charitably and femininely. But we are not meant to be manipulated or forced into subjection; verbally or physically. We are meant to be Pricillia's, Jaels' and Abigails', NOT Bethsehbas.

This being said, there is a lack of courageous feminine women of God who are willing to take off Satan's blinders and fight. Fight next to their men. Encourage their men. Support their men. And graciously submit and serve and co-labor. We can be these kind of women. We can stand by our men and love them in all charity. They need us.

Beauty's Secret:

Spiritual Lesson

Beauty's Secret: 

"The essence of a woman is Beauty.  She is meant to be the incarnation -- our experience in human form -- of a Captivating God.  A God who invites us."  John and Staci Eldredge 

Think of a beautiful woman in your life.  Someone that you know; who comes to mind?

The women that come to my mind all have different physical attributes, different ages, different "styles", extremely different personalities, and yet they all have something in common.
I wonder if it's the same for the women that came to your mind's eye?

Which one of you women readers long to be beautiful?  I bet every one of you wish to be.  At least to someone, if not to everyone around us.  A lot of us have felt shame or remorse for having failed to be beautiful.

Some women are stereotypical in  beauty and are "model worthy".  But the women that I know to be captivating, inspiring, and essentially beautiful are not Hollywood worthy.

This is because beauty is unveiled when a woman is at peace with who she is and how she is.  When she accepts herself as the person God created her to be.

Beauty is unattainable because it's not something to achieve. It cannot be forced.  

Every woman has beauty.  It's innate; a part of our nature.  A trait from being made in His image.
One young woman I know who is shy and has suffered trauma most of her life, is absolutely captivating when she allows her guard down and smiles.  She is transformed, even physically, into the maiden God sees her as.

There is another woman I know who is in no-wise a "head-turner" in the world's view of beauty, but she is so at home with her own self, so confident in who she is, so in love with her husband and children, she radiates beauty.

My first reaction to beauty's secret is:  "Aw, I should work on being more confident in myself."  But how silly! I would be falling into the trap of "attainable beauty" again.

Instead if I could simply strive to acknowledge His view of me and believe Him, beauty will automatically be a result.  I don't have to try to be beautiful.  To Christ I already am.  You are too.
Have you ever  accepted  how He sees you?  Have you ever striven to acknowledge His way of wooing you?  To fall in love with Someone who loves you unconditionally is a thrilling thing!  And you feel star-struck.  You act and look it too.

Have you ever allowed your guard down?  Are you allowing yourself to be who you are with others?  Have you ever acknowledged your faults and let go of shame?  Faced fears?  These are often the result of accepting His view of us?  And it's healthy and allows us to radiate who we really are -- a captivating maiden of Christ.

We don't have to work at beauty.  We don't have to worry what other's think or see in us.  He already sees the real you.  He has grace right now and the ability to see who we will become.  He is forever molding us into His vessels.  Continually changing us to be who we were created to be: us.  He isn't planning on making us into somebody else.  Just more and more into the Christ-like daughter He already sits with in heavenly places.

When we hid we sub-consciously encourage others around us to hide as well.  We're fake so every around us falls into the masquerade.  When I'm myself I invite others to be themselves.  I'm sharing me and they feel safe to share themselves.

By embracing my worth I put value on their's.  Others now can open up, share, bleed, trust.  And I learn and heal and help and am used and benefited.  And they are too.

It does take courage.  It is vulnerable.  It does take time.

The blind man from Bethsaida needed Christ to touch him twice.  Namman dipped 7 times. .  Peter was encouraged to obey three times.    It might take a little getting used to -- being ourselves.   Noticing how God sees us.  Trusting Him, asking Him to show how much He loves us in specific personal ways.  He wants to!  He waits to be asked.

What we can "do" has little bearing on our worth.  God could take away our physical abilities and our talents and He would view us the same way.  And why?  Because He loves who we are, and who we are has absolutely nothing to do with what we can do.  We were made in the image of God with a unique personality that cannot be infringed upon by our abilities.  Our abilities are simply outlets to allow Him to be beautiful through us. 

We women have a huge influence in the people around us.  To our parents, siblings, friends, the lost, the neighbors, the children of our church...  Eve was created with the purpose to be a helpmeet, to be enjoyed and appreciated and inspiring to the man God placed her with.  Who are the men in our lives?  Are we meant to help and inspire them?  We can't possibly fulfill our purpose as women if we can't accept who God meant us to be.  When Jesus fulfills our need to be wanted and needed and loved, we can then confidently give to others of ourselves.

Beauty's secret:  Acknowledge how your God really sees you.  

At War with Pink Lace II

At War with Pink Lace II

Yet another perspective on femininity  

I grabbed my purse, took a quick glance at the mirror, and headed for work.  I was surprised to find myself intercepted and my bedroom door slammed in my face.  Looking down I found four-year-old Abbie fiercely staring me down, one hand on the door knob.

"Will you play with me?"

The question sounded more like an ultimatum.

"Abbie I have to go to work today..."

"Just play with me for a little bit and I won't bother you again -- I promise."

Her face now melted into a baby plea, and it smote me.  I recognized it.

Abbie was desperate.  Not so much for play -- she could have played by herself for hours without interruption.  But for attention, interaction, quality camaraderie, love.  Not that she could have voiced it herself, but I knew.  Every little girl yearns for these things.

By the time we are three years old we innately understand we want to be cherished and beautiful and noticed.  We dress up in princess clothes and we want Daddy to notice.  We dance in mommy's bright red shoes and sing -- straining, waiting, for the compliment.  You tell a little girls she is lovely and her entire countenance changes and her heart shines through her face -- she is thrilled.

But somewhere between three and twenty-three we no longer ask if we are lovely.  We no longer ask for quality time.  And yet we still yearn to be appreciated, noticed and loved, maybe even more desperately than four-year-old Abbie.  But we have been ignored, unappreciated, put on rain-check, or used, and we stop asking.  In fact we start to believe we aren't lovely, we aren't worth appreciation.

We hide under make-up.  We try to prove ourselves through our efficiency or the one thing we're good at.  Our shortcomings stare back in the mirror.  And we wait for negative comments.
We want to be captivating,  beautiful, mysterious, regal, strong, feminine.  And instead we are convinced, if exposed, the world would find who we really are.  Instead we see ourselves  weak, ordinary, needy, and overweight.

And so we morph into one of two kinds of women.

Woman #1:
We become domineering, commanding independent feminists who don't need anyone (especially men).  We forsake tenderness and our inherent nurturing qualities for confidence and capability.  We refuse to find ourselves vulnerable.  We are addicted to indulgent activities.  To saving money, shopping, cleaning, exercising, gossiping -- anything to occupy our emptiness. Taken to the extreme you find these women often characterized in fairy tales as the evil step-mother.  But if we were honest, we could find this trait in even the meekest of us.  We have been disappointed or hurt by past relationships.  Wounded by the men in our lives, either by our father figures or romantic relationships.  We won't be fooled again.  We put up walls.  We won't be duped or guilty of naivete ever again. We are now wise, practical, protected, in control and utterly cold.  No-one can hurt us, no-one can love us.

Woman #2
 Or we become the shy, desperate, mousey, needy woman.  Heartbroken pitiful and unstable.  We seek for sympathy.  We are the geeks, the nerds, the romance novel readers.  We are insecure and afraid.  We think poorly of ourselves and it shows in our attitude, the way we dress and how we interact (if we do).  We will watch others play volley-ball but we'd never dream of trying it ourselves because we already know we will fail.  We'd rather do something "safe" in a group, like watch a movie, than something that requires our input -- because the world will find us out.  These aren't just the teens that pierce their entire bodies or the overweight women who hide behind their chip bag; although they are included.  Think of yourself.  When we walk in the mall and see an outfit we really like but automatically think we could never wear it.  We stay in the kitchen to "help" instead of interact with our house-guests because we aren't witty, humorous, social, enough.  We want others to decide for us because we are incapable, even of ordering at the restaurant.  We apologize for everything.  We are nauseated every time we go to work.  And we dismiss every compliment because it can't possibly be true.

This battle is real, and it wages in Christian women also.  Even in the hearts of those of us who were blessed with incredible homes and godly parents.  We look all the way back in history to the first woman -- her firsts downfall was believing she wasn't all she could be.  That she wasn't perfect enough.  That there was something better.

We don't have to give into Satan's lies.  We women were created for a purpose, as women and as individuals.  If we could grasp, not what we should be doing, but who we are, what are design is, we could easily let go of some of the lies, and allow some of our wounds to heal.
We long to be sought after and appreciated and needed.  God does also.  We desire to comfort and aid; so does He.  We yearn to be desired, pursued and loved.  Christ also has these longings.  Not only do we have the perfect Lover to fulfill our deepest longings, to both take and give love, but we have this quality to bestow on others.  We represent a tender part of God's heart for a reason.  He desires to use us to reveal Himself.

We women also have been given a beautiful mandate.  To be fruitful, to take dominion of the earth, to subdue it, to be stewards over it, and to co-rule with man, to help him, to complete him.  We are man's fellow warrior.  We are their counterpart.  We've been nominated as man's best companion through life's adventure.  We were naturally given fierce devotion for a reason.  We are not an appendage, but an essential part of creation, of man, of God's plan.  

Womanhood is not to be solved but relished.  Not to be stressed over, but embraced.  If we can simply recognize our worth and how our Creator sees us, we wouldn't be so apt to fall into feminist lies and seek fulfillment in selfish ways, or to lazily perceive our lives without purpose or ambition.
I sincerely believe that it's healthy to allow ourselves to enjoy being feminine and beautiful.  To seek for ways to inspire our fathers and brothers, to help them in little things.  To fiercely pray for our men.  To fast for them.  To serve beside them.  Nurture our little siblings or nieces and nephews.  Pursue and invest in Christ, talk and listen.  To shun feminist ideas and instead unashamedly dress and speak and fight and serve like a feminine woman.

What has Christ asked of you as an individual?  Are we cheerfully and passionately pursuing it?
You are needed. Creation was incomplete without the final creation of woman. God was unsatisfied, and earth was "not good" until woman was placed on the earth.  Man himself was incomplete.  Woman wasn't just a lovely afterthought, but we were needed.
 
Man and women are made in the image of God.  God reveals to mankind a part of himself in our femininity.  And only we women are ambassadors for this part of God.  Women are nurturers, we are romantic, we are interested in details, and fascinated by beauty.  These are character traits of our God.  Embrace them!  Allow, seek, let these things flow through your creativity.  For each of us, this will look differently.  Some of us are called to pursue schooling, some to be nurses, others are gifted as artists, others are called to study His stars, some to be missionaries -- run!  Follow it.

Womanhood is an adventure.  If we are Woman 1 or Woman 2 we will find that godly womanhood is not just an adventure but also a battle.  The first step to fighting is recognizing our wounds and our ungodly mentality and then striving to embrace who God has created us to be in the face of it all.

Related Post:

At War with Pink Lace I


Meet Emily & Samantha 

At War with Pink Lace

Spiritual Lessons

At War with Pink Lace

Yet another perspective on femininity  

Femininity does not have to involve lace, pink and tea cups.  But I want to also say that there is nothing wrong with lace, the color pink, or tea cups.  It's one of the beauties of modern womanhood.  We can hunt, and have tea parties.  Rock climb and knit.  Ski and ball-room dance.  We can wear camo one day, and eyelet the next.

If stereotypical "girly" things aren't your "cup of tea" -- that's okay.  But I want to address a mindset I've come across lately.  It's a resentful attitude toward anything "feminine", typically womanly.  Marriage has become a bitter word, and even the thought of being sought after and treated like a "princess" is embarrassing.

I think this attitude stems from unhealthy expectations. And bitter let-downs. We expect ourselves to someday measure up to Mrs. Proverbs 31.  We expect if we are virtuous enough and pretty enough, Prince Charming will show up.  We expect to serve God in church, at home, at the job, at school and at the volunteer you-name-it-center.  And we try.

And then somewhere in your twenties you wake up with the realization you haven't achieved any of this.  You're full of guilt, Prince Charming is nowhere or has left you broken-hearted, and you're just plain TIRED.  You're a failure.  It's a let-down.  And the spiritual solution:  "Try harder."  And the worldly solution:  "Grow up, it's not going to get any better."

We are left feeling we aren't pretty enough, we don't serve enough, and we're too needy and too wounded.  We will never get married, and femininity wasn't all it was made out to be.
The fact that every little girl has played dolly, has dressed up in mom's shoes, and is captivated by love stories, proves that we have an inherent desire to be needed, to be beautiful and to be sought after.  This is natural.  To downplay it or be ashamed of it, or even go so far as to reject it is a sign of being hurt or having dreams shattered.

Granted there are times the thought of motherhood scares us, we feel frumpy, we're tired and romance seems so complex.  But when you aren't pressed down be insecurities.  When it feels possible to dream, when you are simply being yourself, when demands and disappointments are forgotten -- what do we feel?  What do we desire?  What do we dream?

We find we don't want to run away from life.  We actually can admit we want to be a wife and a mom.  We want to to be part of a man's adventure and to be his helpmeet.  To be a warrior against our culture's sin.  To be confident and beautiful...maybe even relish in something beautiful and glittery...maybe something with lace and pink.

These emotions are part of being female and it's okay to let down our guard and accept them.  Our attitude affects more than just us.  Our disdain for femininity is a result of being hurt -- but it affects other women who dare to accept their femininity.  It's who we are.  And when we can embrace it we can encourage other women to do the same.  And by unashamedly being the women we are, men can also be encouraged to be the men they are supposed to be.

Your womanly courage inspires men to leave modern passivity and encourages them to take up the fight.  Our faithfulness in modesty, our daring to unveil who we are (as imperfect as it may be), our pursuit of beauty and femininity, and our acceptance of our womanhood, actually creates a desire in men to stand up and be the men they were created to be.  A feminine heart inspires heroism.  A womanly heart encourages strength to stand.

Our longings to be womanly and feminine, (no matter how long we've oppressed them) are whispers of the heart, calling out to us to fulfill our purpose as women.  Modern culture, feminists and romance novels will all try to lie and offer unsatisfying alternatives.  But that longing in your heart, the same one that made you delight in baking your first dessert, or dance in your mother's shoes, or plan a party, or sit on your Dad's knee, or blush when your brother said you look nice -- is your heart longing to be exactly who God created you to be - a feminine woman of God.

And how do we be that feminine woman of God?

There isn't a formula.  I don't know of any biblical check-lists.  Which thankfully means we aren't setting ourselves up to be failures.
It's honestly an adventurous journey.

To be continued...



Related Post:

Femininity 

I'm an Old Maid -- Now What?!

I'm an Old Maid -- Now what?!

So, I'm 24 years old and unmarried.  In fact I'm not dating.  Not courting, not in a relationship - notta.

I actually had some people in my life come to me on my 24th birthday and try to "console" me.  Apparently I've reached hopeless "old maid" status.  And I didn't even know it!  Here's the thing --

I think a lot of Christian girls of my generation grew up with the thought that they would prepare to be a wife, graduate, and meet Prince Charming.  And then what?  Life!  We'd follow our husbands, have children, reign as housewife and serve God.

But for many of us, we turned 19 and Prince Charming browned on us.  So we decided we mustn't be ready yet.  There must be more to learn in Virtuous Womanhood 101.

Twenty...um, still no Prince.

Twenty one... no sign of him.

Twenty two... okay, you'd think we'd have a hint...maybe a guy on a white charger on the horizon...

Twenty three -- believe me!  I've learned everything there is to know about cooking, cleaning, serving, parenting and housekeeping.  I'm ready, God!

Twenty four -- Signing my name under Martyr of Old Maid Status

(For some of us the years continue...)

I actually understand why "older" single women turn to their singleness as a form of identity and therefore find it their consolation and security.  We women can yearn so long for male companionship and fulfillment that when "he" won't come, we go overboard in embracing "what we are" instead of "what we don't have".  It can be tempting.  And it sounds "good".  Obviously there is nothing wrong with embracing our single-hood,  In fact it really ought to be embraced.  But our identity is who we are in Christ, not our marital status.  (Or lack thereof!).  We don't have to flaunt our single-hood in order to accept and embrace it.

My dear maidens, I want to encourage you that marriage is not the hallmark of life.  It is not when life begins.  And though we were created to be a man's helpmeet, and live with this natural yearning to fulfill that -- there is more to womanhood than marriage.

I've seen girls treat the cultivation of their character/skills as preparation to be " a good wife".  Or in shallower more accurate words -- they were working on being a good catch.
Our pursuit of godly womanhood has nothing to do with becoming "eligible".  Culinary skills and character building have more purpose than ensuring we're noticed.

So what is our purpose?  

I know that God gives individuals specific purposes.  But what is our purpose as women in general?
We were created to be helpers, to meet needs, to compliment men.  We can still fulfill this purpose without being married.

Who are the men God has placed in your life?  If you have a father, a brother(s), Pastor, or even brothers in Christ -- God has placed you in a position to be a helper.  Of course we are not under submission or subject to these men in the way we are to our husbands.  (Eph. 5:22, Titus 2:5, 1 Pet. 3:1-5).

But we can look to heroines of faith and history to realize that many unmarried women fulfilled their purpose as helper without first being married.

Through Miriam, Moses' sister, a nation was saved.  She ministered to her brother and her steadfastness, her obedience, her quick intellect saved Israel.

Mary, an unmarried women was chosen to be the mother of Jesus Christ, our Messiah.

Sophie Scholl, a German Nazi resister, was not only an inspiration to her country -- but she was a faithful companion and confidant to her brother Hans.

Katharine Wright, Orville and Wilbur's little sister is also a good example.  "Kate" used every opportunity to encourage her brothers to greatness.  Eventually she became their executive secretary and social manager.  She watched over their bicycle shop, paid bills, answered queries for scientific information, corresponded with newspapers and magazines and eventually became secretary of the Wright company.

These are a handful of the many unmarried women God has used.  We as women have the opportunity to be an encourager and helper to the men God has placed in our lives.  Just as we can also be selfish and ignore our opportunities.

Whether we marry or not, we can learn willingness and availability like Mary, we can learn courage and can stretch our intellect like Miriam.  We can learn to be trustworthy and faithful like Sophie, and serve and encourage like Katharine.  If we never marry these things will not be a waste.

There are Godly men in our generation.  I personally am surrounded by them.  Two examples:

My father is raising his children in the admonition of the Lord.  This godly pursuit is not easy in our age.  He and his helpmeet (mom) can use all the encouragement and service I have to offer.

My brother Chris is on the forefront battle against abortion.  He is part of a grassroots movement to abolish our nation's child sacrifice, (AHA).  He is attacked not only by the world but by many Christians.

The men who desire to be godly in this generation need women who have backbone, convictions, intellect, compassion and femininity.  The world hates masculinity and godly leaders.  The world will constantly chip away at their integrity.

Though it is prudent to know how to keep a house, godly womanhood involves more than that.  It behooves us to have a grasp on current affairs, to have a worldview, to be interested in more than beauty tips and fashion buzz.

As daughters, sisters and wives we are ambassadors of those who care for us. How we dress, act and serve does matter.  We represent our heavenly and earthly father.  Men who can count on their counterparts are able to go father, reach more and stand stronger.

We are persuading voices.  We are guardians of purity.  We are feminine strength.  We are a safe friend.  We are prayer warriors.  We are faithful counselors.  We are listeners.  We are encouragers.

And this does not come about naturally.  We have to invest ourselves.  This involves sweat equity, time, prayer.  It means embracing our status as non-conformists.  We are a peculiar people -- even among the peculiar.

Virtuous womanhood is more than becoming marriage materiel.  With Christ we are to walk worthy of the Lord, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God.  (Col 1:10).
Are you ready to engage the world through the spheres and people God has placed in your life?  I am.  Marriage or not, here I come.

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