Beauty's Secret:

Spiritual Lesson

Beauty's Secret: 

"The essence of a woman is Beauty.  She is meant to be the incarnation -- our experience in human form -- of a Captivating God.  A God who invites us."  John and Staci Eldredge 

Think of a beautiful woman in your life.  Someone that you know; who comes to mind?

The women that come to my mind all have different physical attributes, different ages, different "styles", extremely different personalities, and yet they all have something in common.
I wonder if it's the same for the women that came to your mind's eye?

Which one of you women readers long to be beautiful?  I bet every one of you wish to be.  At least to someone, if not to everyone around us.  A lot of us have felt shame or remorse for having failed to be beautiful.

Some women are stereotypical in  beauty and are "model worthy".  But the women that I know to be captivating, inspiring, and essentially beautiful are not Hollywood worthy.

This is because beauty is unveiled when a woman is at peace with who she is and how she is.  When she accepts herself as the person God created her to be.

Beauty is unattainable because it's not something to achieve. It cannot be forced.  

Every woman has beauty.  It's innate; a part of our nature.  A trait from being made in His image.
One young woman I know who is shy and has suffered trauma most of her life, is absolutely captivating when she allows her guard down and smiles.  She is transformed, even physically, into the maiden God sees her as.

There is another woman I know who is in no-wise a "head-turner" in the world's view of beauty, but she is so at home with her own self, so confident in who she is, so in love with her husband and children, she radiates beauty.

My first reaction to beauty's secret is:  "Aw, I should work on being more confident in myself."  But how silly! I would be falling into the trap of "attainable beauty" again.

Instead if I could simply strive to acknowledge His view of me and believe Him, beauty will automatically be a result.  I don't have to try to be beautiful.  To Christ I already am.  You are too.
Have you ever  accepted  how He sees you?  Have you ever striven to acknowledge His way of wooing you?  To fall in love with Someone who loves you unconditionally is a thrilling thing!  And you feel star-struck.  You act and look it too.

Have you ever allowed your guard down?  Are you allowing yourself to be who you are with others?  Have you ever acknowledged your faults and let go of shame?  Faced fears?  These are often the result of accepting His view of us?  And it's healthy and allows us to radiate who we really are -- a captivating maiden of Christ.

We don't have to work at beauty.  We don't have to worry what other's think or see in us.  He already sees the real you.  He has grace right now and the ability to see who we will become.  He is forever molding us into His vessels.  Continually changing us to be who we were created to be: us.  He isn't planning on making us into somebody else.  Just more and more into the Christ-like daughter He already sits with in heavenly places.

When we hid we sub-consciously encourage others around us to hide as well.  We're fake so every around us falls into the masquerade.  When I'm myself I invite others to be themselves.  I'm sharing me and they feel safe to share themselves.

By embracing my worth I put value on their's.  Others now can open up, share, bleed, trust.  And I learn and heal and help and am used and benefited.  And they are too.

It does take courage.  It is vulnerable.  It does take time.

The blind man from Bethsaida needed Christ to touch him twice.  Namman dipped 7 times. .  Peter was encouraged to obey three times.    It might take a little getting used to -- being ourselves.   Noticing how God sees us.  Trusting Him, asking Him to show how much He loves us in specific personal ways.  He wants to!  He waits to be asked.

What we can "do" has little bearing on our worth.  God could take away our physical abilities and our talents and He would view us the same way.  And why?  Because He loves who we are, and who we are has absolutely nothing to do with what we can do.  We were made in the image of God with a unique personality that cannot be infringed upon by our abilities.  Our abilities are simply outlets to allow Him to be beautiful through us. 

We women have a huge influence in the people around us.  To our parents, siblings, friends, the lost, the neighbors, the children of our church...  Eve was created with the purpose to be a helpmeet, to be enjoyed and appreciated and inspiring to the man God placed her with.  Who are the men in our lives?  Are we meant to help and inspire them?  We can't possibly fulfill our purpose as women if we can't accept who God meant us to be.  When Jesus fulfills our need to be wanted and needed and loved, we can then confidently give to others of ourselves.

Beauty's secret:  Acknowledge how your God really sees you.  

Modesty

Spiritual Lessons/ Health and Beauty 

I would like to submit to you a post written by guest writer Melissa Bickish.  I sincerely enjoyed it and would love to hear what you think!

Modesty 

I recently read a very different book. It was written by a preacher during the 2^nd world war period. He had some amazing things to say from a MAN’s perspective. You don’t often hear a guy’s perspective of modesty, beauty, femininity and purity.  I wanted to share with you some of my favorite quotes. He encouraged me in modesty, keeping a really high-standard, and my already existing convictions against flirtation, etc. I hope that this encourages someone else as much as it did me.  They are kind of random without much order, but what he has to say is very honest and encourages woman to continue in our pursuit of modesty, purity, and feminine beauty.

“ God never made anything so beautiful as a beautiful girl. From her hair, which the Apostle Paul calls her crowning glory, and her eyes, which carry the sparkle of the diamond of god’s sunshine itself, and her beautiful complexion, which is most beautiful when it is healthy and natural; from her teeth, like a row of pearls, to the tip of her dainty feet, as she moves with grace across the path of a young man’s vision, she is altogether adorable. I do not wonder that the young man should fall head over heels in love with such a vision of loveliness.”

“In commenting on present-day laxity of girls regarding their make-up and manners, a college lad recently said, ‘ of course fellows will play around with girls of that kind, but inwardly they despise them’. Far too often in these days, we see girls that by their very actions are labeled ‘cheap’… Any well-bred young man will instinctively lift his hat with reverence and respect, and thus honor modest, sincere, Christian womanhood.”

In speaking of a girl permitting liberties… “ He loses all his former respect for her because she is willing to permit those unbecoming intimacies, and about nine times out of ten he will shortly cast her aside for another. He is probably laughing at her, and is saying to himself that if she permits his advances, she would yield her favors to the approaches of some other young man.”

“ The worthwhile young man is not interested in making his purchases at the counter plainly marked ‘soiled goods’.

“ Every truthful young man would admit that the has the greatest respect for the girl whose general bearing is constantly warning him- not necessarily with words, but by her every act- ‘hands off.’ As one young man expressed it, ‘ Any girl should know that the young man always wants that one which is hardest to get.’

“,,, Therefore it makes little difference whether the physical virginity is lost or not, if that maidenly purity of heart be gone, in the sight of God it is sensuality, and her chastity, the greatest element of a girl’s attractiveness has been destroyed.”

“ There is nothing more disgusting to a worth-while young man than a girl who is ‘boy-crazy’. With her light-headed giggling, squealing, affected and designing maneuvers, she may think she is making a ‘hit’, but in fact she is utterly despised by every decent chap in the community. However, such a girl may be highly attractive to the young fellows who think one so silly might be easy prey to their improper intentions.”

“We find in these days a steady trend to immodesty of dress, and the sad part of it is that most young girls are willfully ignorant of the effect this has upon the men… but I am hereby serving notice on you that the decent, respectable men or our country, whether in the church or out of it, are absolutely disgusted with the manner in which modern women are dressing.” ( This was written in 1938! I can’t even imagine what this man would have said about today’s dress code!!! ) “The partially concealed charms of a woman have always proved to be one of the most severe temptations to sexual immorality that any man has ever been compelled to face.”

 “Women are the best missionaries of the cause of Purity. Just let them make it known that they will refuse to marry men who fail to bring to the bridal chamber the same purity which men expect from womanhood, and it will start the greatest moral revolution since the Reformation.”

“Put your standards high, yield yourself wholly to the will of God and make your future a matter of earnest prayer. You may be sure that God is far more interested in having His divine purpose carried out in your life than you yourself could possibly be…. Certainly God is both able and willing to make his will known to His children, and especially in that which is of such tremendous importance to us both for time and eternity. Let every Christian girl stand her ground and look to God for a perfect fulfillment of His will in her life.

“There are many marriages which God never had anything to do.”

“… next to our conversion and eternal salvation the most important step is that of marriage.”

“Girls don’t let your actions advertise ‘Man wanted quick’ for that is the surest way of not getting a real one. You might get something with pantaloons on, but that is not necessarily a man, let alone being a real gentlemen.”

“ Every worthwhile young man, whether he admits it or not, has the greatest respect for the young woman who lives and dares to stand up and defend her Christian principles.”

~ Oscar Lowry 

Recently I contacted some of our brothers in Christ. 

This is what I wrote to them:

Hello!

I was wondering if you would do me a favor?

I am currently writing a book called “Maid Arise!”

It is my humble desire to encourage my sisters of the faith in their adventure of being godly young women for Christ in the 21^st Century.

Recently I have been reading some other books that are written by godly women that are geared towards the same readers I hope to address. Even though these authors have a lot of wise advice to share, I was surprised at a couple of similar underlying themes. I'd like to share two of them with you.

These authors mentioned that there is a danger of girls becoming “hidden flowers”. That we can lead a sheltered life and “Prince Charming” will never find us if we are narrow minded enough to stay at home and only think of serving our family. We need to get out in the world! Find our ministry! How else will men realize that we are “available”? One author said young men want to marry women who are industrious, not someone who stays at home and dreams her life away.

Also, one author mentioned the number one importance to most guys she has talked to was that their future wife be beautiful. She admonished her girl readers to stay fit and toned, and concentrate on being beautiful.

This is where you come in.

I'm not sure what type of men she was asking, but I want to know your opinion. I respect you as godly brothers and want to know what you think. In my book I would like to address these two issues. The world tells us we need to “find our career” and strive for perfect beauty....now our Christian mentors are similarly admonishing us.

You probably can guess what I think. But I can write a whole book on the subject and it won't matter to many girls if they believe this is what young men think. This is why I'm asking for your honest opinion. And I really want to hear what you have to say, not what you think I believe. What are some important expectations of your future spouse? What do you think of these author's advice?

Thank you for your help!

Your sister in Christ,

Toni

Once a week I'd like to share a different response from the young men that answered my questions.  Today I am posting Knight # 3

Age 19

Beauty

I would definitely agree with the statement that as young men we want wives that are beautiful. The only problem is how young women, (and young men), interpret that. Our culture tells us that “beautiful” means looking like a glamorous model, or I should say, pretending to look like a model by applying gobs of make-up and wearing the most attractive clothing.

What does beautiful really mean? The Websters 1828 Dictionary says that the definition of beauty is, “Elegant in form; fair; having the form that pleases the eye”.

Honestly when reading this definition I think of a stereotypical pretty girl, maybe a princess, the kind of girl that is popular and everyone's friend. But that is so wrong. Beauty is not what the majority claims it to be or what our culture says it is. When we interpret beauty through the eyes of the majority, our view will always be changing and inconsistent. When we ascribe beauty to those privileged few who mesmerize the word as models and celebrities we automatically condemn the majority of girls that will never attain that model status as under par or even ugly. But there is nothing further from the truth.

Beauty is not based on how fit, or how toned we are, or how we style our hair. Girls that dress up like models are only hiding behind the world's expectations. Yes, beautiful girls are attractive, but again, I ask, what is beauty?

Beauty is the girl so filled with the person of Jesus Christ that His beauty shines through her. Beauty is the girl that is so in love with Christ that the opinions of the world mean nothing to her. Beauty is the girl that so revels in the acceptance of her Savior that she doesn't have to prove to others that she is worthy. Beauty is the girl that is known by the purity of her heart, revealed in her actions, dress and conversation. Beauty is the girl that is so lost in the character of Christ that His light and beauty radiates from her face.

You might think that the difference in the definition of beauty that I just gave and the one by Noah Webster doesn't matter, but I disagree.

We often see beauty as through the tainted eyes of the world. Webster says “...having the form that pleases the eye.”

What is more beautiful to the eye than one fully surrendered to the perfect will of God? I'm not saying I want to marry someone “ugly”, but that the most beautiful women in the world's standards pales in comparison to the humble simplicity of a girl dressed in the garments of His holiness.

If we are so intent on that outward beauty what do we think of Christ of whom Isaiah wrote about in Is. 53:2, “...he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him?”

What would our answer be to Him when He says “come unto me?” As the purest Groom He sought us, despite our uncomeliness, for that wonderful beauty of fellowship.

Home

I want my future wife to be serious and dedicated to what she will be devoting the rest of her life to; being a mother and a wife. Part of that devotion would be shown by preparation.

If you were told that you would be singing a solo next Sunday, wouldn't practicing and preparing be the wise and obvious thing to do? Why is it different with the important and life-long profession of homemaker?

To say that guys won't be interested in a girl that sits around at home all day is illogical. Actually there are two fallacies in that statement. When you say “sit around all day” that builds a straw man argument. Of course a girl that sits around all day is undesirable. But what does “sitting around all day” have to do about preparing to be the helpmeet God has chosen her to be? The drudgery of the everyday, and the monotony of consistency are some of the hardest things you will ever face.

The second fallacy in that statement can be summed up, by saying this, saying that guys won't be interested in girls that sit around all day is like saying a short handed hospital wouldn't be interested in a highly trained medical doctor searching for employment. The only time that wouldn't be true would be if the homemaker is onto what the searching guy is looking for. What better proof of her competence in raising your future children than a young woman passionate about the care of her own siblings?

As long as she isn't lazy, a young women that is a home maker at heart is admirable. It shows character and confidence to me in that she doesn’t have to “go with the flow” of modern day culture and is willing to take the Biblical challenge that most women these days have shunned.