Recently I contacted some of our brothers in Christ. 

This is what I wrote to them:

Hello!

I was wondering if you would do me a favor?

I am currently writing a book called “Maid Arise!”

It is my humble desire to encourage my sisters of the faith in their adventure of being godly young women for Christ in the 21^st Century.

Recently I have been reading some other books that are written by godly women that are geared towards the same readers I hope to address. Even though these authors have a lot of wise advice to share, I was surprised at a couple of similar underlying themes. I'd like to share two of them with you.

These authors mentioned that there is a danger of girls becoming “hidden flowers”. That we can lead a sheltered life and “Prince Charming” will never find us if we are narrow minded enough to stay at home and only think of serving our family. We need to get out in the world! Find our ministry! How else will men realize that we are “available”? One author said young men want to marry women who are industrious, not someone who stays at home and dreams her life away.

Also, one author mentioned the number one importance to most guys she has talked to was that their future wife be beautiful. She admonished her girl readers to stay fit and toned, and concentrate on being beautiful.

This is where you come in.

I'm not sure what type of men she was asking, but I want to know your opinion. I respect you as godly brothers and want to know what you think. In my book I would like to address these two issues. The world tells us we need to “find our career” and strive for perfect beauty....now our Christian mentors are similarly admonishing us.

You probably can guess what I think. But I can write a whole book on the subject and it won't matter to many girls if they believe this is what young men think. This is why I'm asking for your honest opinion. And I really want to hear what you have to say, not what you think I believe. What are some important expectations of your future spouse? What do you think of these author's advice?

Thank you for your help!

Your sister in Christ,

Toni

Once a week I'd like to share a different response from the young men that answered my questions.  Today I am posting Knight # 3

Age 19

Beauty

I would definitely agree with the statement that as young men we want wives that are beautiful. The only problem is how young women, (and young men), interpret that. Our culture tells us that “beautiful” means looking like a glamorous model, or I should say, pretending to look like a model by applying gobs of make-up and wearing the most attractive clothing.

What does beautiful really mean? The Websters 1828 Dictionary says that the definition of beauty is, “Elegant in form; fair; having the form that pleases the eye”.

Honestly when reading this definition I think of a stereotypical pretty girl, maybe a princess, the kind of girl that is popular and everyone's friend. But that is so wrong. Beauty is not what the majority claims it to be or what our culture says it is. When we interpret beauty through the eyes of the majority, our view will always be changing and inconsistent. When we ascribe beauty to those privileged few who mesmerize the word as models and celebrities we automatically condemn the majority of girls that will never attain that model status as under par or even ugly. But there is nothing further from the truth.

Beauty is not based on how fit, or how toned we are, or how we style our hair. Girls that dress up like models are only hiding behind the world's expectations. Yes, beautiful girls are attractive, but again, I ask, what is beauty?

Beauty is the girl so filled with the person of Jesus Christ that His beauty shines through her. Beauty is the girl that is so in love with Christ that the opinions of the world mean nothing to her. Beauty is the girl that so revels in the acceptance of her Savior that she doesn't have to prove to others that she is worthy. Beauty is the girl that is known by the purity of her heart, revealed in her actions, dress and conversation. Beauty is the girl that is so lost in the character of Christ that His light and beauty radiates from her face.

You might think that the difference in the definition of beauty that I just gave and the one by Noah Webster doesn't matter, but I disagree.

We often see beauty as through the tainted eyes of the world. Webster says “...having the form that pleases the eye.”

What is more beautiful to the eye than one fully surrendered to the perfect will of God? I'm not saying I want to marry someone “ugly”, but that the most beautiful women in the world's standards pales in comparison to the humble simplicity of a girl dressed in the garments of His holiness.

If we are so intent on that outward beauty what do we think of Christ of whom Isaiah wrote about in Is. 53:2, “...he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him?”

What would our answer be to Him when He says “come unto me?” As the purest Groom He sought us, despite our uncomeliness, for that wonderful beauty of fellowship.

Home

I want my future wife to be serious and dedicated to what she will be devoting the rest of her life to; being a mother and a wife. Part of that devotion would be shown by preparation.

If you were told that you would be singing a solo next Sunday, wouldn't practicing and preparing be the wise and obvious thing to do? Why is it different with the important and life-long profession of homemaker?

To say that guys won't be interested in a girl that sits around at home all day is illogical. Actually there are two fallacies in that statement. When you say “sit around all day” that builds a straw man argument. Of course a girl that sits around all day is undesirable. But what does “sitting around all day” have to do about preparing to be the helpmeet God has chosen her to be? The drudgery of the everyday, and the monotony of consistency are some of the hardest things you will ever face.

The second fallacy in that statement can be summed up, by saying this, saying that guys won't be interested in girls that sit around all day is like saying a short handed hospital wouldn't be interested in a highly trained medical doctor searching for employment. The only time that wouldn't be true would be if the homemaker is onto what the searching guy is looking for. What better proof of her competence in raising your future children than a young woman passionate about the care of her own siblings?

As long as she isn't lazy, a young women that is a home maker at heart is admirable. It shows character and confidence to me in that she doesn’t have to “go with the flow” of modern day culture and is willing to take the Biblical challenge that most women these days have shunned.