Purity Without Guilt
What if I'm subconsciously attracted to someone? Are my hopes and dreams pure? Am I impure if my mind wanders to a certain guy?
These were questions I was asked recently and I felt like sharing my thoughts.
Attraction is normal, and not a sin. Yet it is possible to commit emotional adultery. What's the difference? Attraction is a natural emotion. Emotional adultery is a choice with what we do with that natural emotion. Emotional adultery is a decision to dwell in lust.
Some safe guards I keep are being careful in my conduct and thoughts and speech. This comes easiest when I am continually meditating on good thoughts. (What we dwell on comes out). Keeping young men as casual acquaintances or friends and saving close friendships for young woman is imperative.
But hoping that we will be married one day is not sin. Even having plans or preparations for our future is not evil. But we do need to be careful where we allow our thoughts to go. I find that if I continually share with Jesus where I'm at, it keeps me accountable in my thought life.
Attraction is a strong emotion. But it is possible for our heart to stop at admiration. Beyond that are slippery slopes and temptations and fine lines. The best solution is to give Jesus our attraction. Every time "he" comes to mind, we can immediately give "him" to Jesus. It's always such a help to realize that Jesus has allowed me to feel towards this person, it's not more than I can bare. This "cross" will certainly keep you dependent on Him. We can choose to allow it to. If the guy doesn't make any advancement we should be content to be still. We aren't waiting on the guy. We are simply following Jesus. Don't hold your breath! We have no idea how long God needs us to be single to accomplish His will for our life and other's lives.
There's the possibility of feeling frightened that we have a hope in our life. It's okay. If Jesus takes it away He will give us the grace to let go. If He one days allows the hope to become reality, He will let us know when the time comes.
In the meanwhile, we shouldn't forget who is the true satisfaction to our every longing! Before and after marriage! He is our Beloved and desires to meet every need of our heart. If we are truly upfront with Him, He will guide our heart and convict us when we've gone astray and comfort us when we feel like we're a hopeless case!
Here are previous posts on these same issues. I hope this was somehow an encouragement to you.
Is there a difference between infatuation and giving away your heart? How do we practically keep our heart?
Are our fathers really our head? What is woman's purpose? Why should woman stay at home? Are woman weak? Can women be adventurous and brave?
Our hearts are at stake! This post addresses the temptation to compromise our standard of purity. Honest and to the point about relationships with guys.
Temptations will come. Whether they're something or someone. This post is on how to face them, what to do with them, how to feel about them and how to find encouragement in them.
Is there really "the one" out there for us?
It's easy to grow restless and wonder if there's more to singlehood. This post encourages single woman what "to do" in these years.
Is it silly to hope and pray for a "Prince Charming"? Do such men exist?
Courtship: is it biblical, or is it flawed?
What is our "heart"? What's our heart's purpose? What isn't our heart's purpose?